Russian Crypto Mining Registry: From Siberian Power Drains to Comedy Gold

Breaking News: Russia just invented paperwork for computers. Crypto rigs, get in line! 📝💻
No more hiding behind big fuzzy hats—illegal miners, the jig is up! 🚓
Because nothing says “fun Saturday night” like registering your graphics card with the government. 🎉

Russia has kicked off a bold new pastime: registering cryptocurrency mining equipment. Who knew bureaucracy could go digital? The Ministry of Energy, the Federal Tax Service, and the Ministry of Digital Development (which, let’s face it, sounds made-up) are teaming up to create the world’s hottest VIP list—except everyone ends up paying taxes instead of getting bottle service.

Registry to Track and Regulate Crypto Mining Equipment (Sounds Like the Start of a Sitcom)

Imagine this: you’re a humble crypto miner, just you and your humming machines. Suddenly, you need to cobble together serial numbers, device models, and your favorite brand of extension cord (okay, maybe not that last one) just to stay legal. The authorities, who’ve apparently run out of actual criminals, now want your GPU’s life story. Mazel tov!

Deputy Minister of Energy Petr Konyushenko claimed the registry is a “big step”—which, for a government official, means walking from one office to another without ordering coffee. The aim: stop all those underground miners from draining enough power to light up the Kremlin Christmas tree year-round. Apparently, the Ministry only cared once half the country started flickering like a disco ball.

Illegal mining in Russia? Shocked—absolutely shocked! Who would have guessed people love cheap electricity and tax loopholes? Well, surprise! From now on, if you plug in more than a lava lamp, the government wants to know. If your mining rig’s drawing enough power to fry a bear, expect a call from Comrade Taxman.

This registry was first suggested in February 2025—yes, they’re so ahead of the times, they invented paperwork from the future! With full Ministry backing, this follows Russia’s move to actually legalize crypto mining (but only for the serial-registration-loving masses). So remember to pay your taxes, kids, or the only NFT you’ll get is “No Fun Tomorrow”.

Impact on Taxation and Energy Consumption (Or, “Pay Now or Pay Later!”)

Now for the best part: taxes! The Federal Tax Service can finally track miners more accurately. It’s like Santa but with audits instead of presents. Declare your crypto loot, because the ruble’s got to come from somewhere. The new “15% tax on miners and crypto trades”—which, in Russia, is actually pronounced “muahahaha”.

Feel free to mine privately, as long as you stay under 6,000 kWh a month—which is roughly the amount needed to power a modest spaceship. Go over, and it’s paperwork city, population: you.

Authorities have already shut down some massive illegal mining operations—including one in Sayansk with 240 rigs. That many graphics cards in one place probably doubled as a central heating unit. Somewhere, a Siberian warehouse is now a lot colder and a lot more bored.

This all ties together with other fun administrative gadgets, like an online tax reporting system for miners. So get ready: upload those earnings with your shiny new electronic signature. Because when it comes to Russia and crypto mining, the only thing more powerful than the grid is the paperwork.

2025-07-07 22:14

Registry to Track and Regulate Crypto Mining Equipment (Sounds Like the Start of a Sitcom)

Impact on Taxation and Energy Consumption (Or, “Pay Now or Pay Later!”)

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