Saylor’s Orange Bag: The Universe’s Most Expensive Grocery Run?

As Bitcoin hovers around the $67,000 mark like a slightly tipsy astronaut trying to find the airlock, Michael Saylor, the Chairman of Strategy (and presumably the Universe’s Most Optimistic Shopper), has taken to the interwebs with a post that could only be described as a cosmic riddle wrapped in an enigma and stuffed into a large orange bag. In a recent X post, Saylor depicted himself lugging said bag, emblazoned with Bitcoin logos, and quipped that he might need a “bigger” one. Because, you know, when you’re buying Bitcoin, you can never have too much baggage-emotional or otherwise.

The message to the galaxy is clear: Saylor & Co. are ready to hoover up more Bitcoin like a black hole at a buffet. And let’s face it, who needs a retirement plan when you can just buy more Bitcoin and hope the bag doesn’t rip?

Why Michael Saylor Needs a Bag the Size of Mars Amid MSTR Stock Turbulence

Currently, Strategy holds 718,722 BTC, which is roughly equivalent to $48 billion in Earth money. However, with an average purchase price of $76,000, Saylor and his crew are sitting on an unrealized loss of about 12%. But hey, who’s counting? Certainly not Saylor, who seems more concerned with the size of his orange bag than the state of his balance sheet. Meanwhile, the company’s mNAV ratio is holding steady at 1, and its adjusted enterprise value multiple is a whopping 1.256. Because nothing says “financial stability” like a multiple that sounds like a fever dream.

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In other Strategy-related news, the company recently hosted Strategy World 2026, where Saylor doubled down on his thesis that Bitcoin is the digital equivalent of capital. According to him, Bitcoin’s core value isn’t in its abstract portability but in the fact that you can move a billion dollars in BTC anywhere in the world. Try doing that with a billion dollars in traditional assets-it’s like trying to fit an elephant into a Mini Cooper.

Need a bigger orange bag.

– Michael Saylor (@saylor) February 26, 2026

Saylor also acknowledged that Bitcoin’s main challenge is its price volatility, which he claims is the only thing holding back large-scale capital inflows. Apparently, the network itself is flawless-it’s just the price that’s as stable as a unicycle on a tightrope. And let’s not forget his sage advice: if you invest in BTC, be prepared to hold it for 7-10 years. Or, you know, until the heat death of the universe, whichever comes first.

All this comes as Strategy’s stock, MSTR, is reportedly the most shorted stock in the market, according to Goldman Sachs. The shares are currently trading at $132.8, down 12.6% year-to-date in 2026. Compared to its all-time high of $542, the stock is off by 75.8%. But hey, at least Saylor’s orange bag is getting bigger, right?

How much bigger Saylor’s bag needs to be will likely become clearer next week, as Strategy continues to report its Bitcoin activity on a weekly basis. One thing is certain: Saylor remains as optimistic as a cat with a laser pointer, even as the crypto market resembles a rollercoaster designed by a sadist.

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2026-02-26 19:32