SEC Shocks Wall Street: Crypto ETFs Now Accept Bitcoin Instead of Boring Cash 🚀😂

With a single swipe of a bureaucrat’s pen—such is the power—the SEC has at last embraced in-kind settlements for crypto ETFs, much to the delight of those whose patience rivals the Russian winter.
Nasdaq, CBOE, NYSE: now certified in the ancient art of asset-handling, with less paperwork and (possibly) fewer furrowed brows.
The titans of industry, ever hungry, demand ETFs not only swifter, but cheaper—like serfs at a feast, yet with far superior lawyers.

In a twist that would amuse even the most cynical Moscow financier, the SEC of the United States (that relentless machine of forms and signatures) has, at last, sanctioned in-kind redemptions for crypto ETFs. Shares now may be created, not with the crumpled slips of cash, but with the actual substance of the land: Bitcoin and Ether. Could this be… progress?

Where once red tape ensnared these modern merchants—allowing only prosaic cash settlements—the rule change now throws open the gates. Gold’s stately precedent is to be echoed; in-kind trading, as familiar to commodity barons as misery is to peasants, now emerges in the glimmering shadows of Bitcoin and Ethereum. Behold, the world turns, and not even the SEC can hold it still.

This is no mere trifle: BlackRock and Fidelity, those generals of capital, are already mapped onto this new field. It remains only to see who shall march first. If history teaches us anything, it’s that the boldest so often have the deepest pockets. 😏

Source – X (as if “Twitter” was too quaint for the 21st century)

It was not Providence but Nasdaq, CBOE, and NYSE who placed their tributes before the SEC’s altar, pleading for deliverance. The regulator, suddenly seized by a spirit of expedience, approved the request faster than a Petersburg duel. Paul Atkins, the new czar of the S.E.C., calls this ‘a fresh start’—as if finance had not worn itself out with new beginnings. Regulations for crypto assets, streamlined as a newly shaved beard, march onward.

Source – X (where news flies swifter than rumors in a Moscow salon)

Enter stage left: Hester Peirce, the industrious commissioner, clasping arms with Atkins to clear the final bureaucratic brambles. One ‘Martyparty’ on X, whose opinions carry much the same gravity as Tolstoy’s second cousin at a tea party, declared: the last obstacle lies toppled. ETF activity, already wild in speculation, shall now become wilder still. Market makers, those unsung poets of arbitrage, finally may use crypto itself—Gensler’s cash-only edict now consigned to the great archive of bad ideas. 🎭

Let it not be forgotten that Nasdaq, CBOE, and NYSE petitioned for it. It was Peirce and Atkins whose signatures, like a Cossack’s saber, made it real.

To the skeptics, Jamie Selway of the SEC (Director, division of Speaking Wisely) promises flexibility and efficiency; cost savings, too, for whomever prefers large numbers with many zeroes. The ETF realm, once sluggish as winter wheat, quickens—asset issuers, participants, investors all benefit… unless, of course, the universe simply enjoys seeing them sweat.

The Stage Is Set for a Volatile Epic

With a stroke, the SEC permits the mighty to forge and melt ETF shares in pure crypto, with no more groveling for American dollars. Taxes: reduced. Trades: quicker. Market makers, long tangled in the thorns of cash settlements, may even sleep better at night—though, being in finance, such optimism is dangerous. 💤

Institutional adoption: expected. The gap between the wild crypto frontier and the tamer fields of tradition narrows. Commodity ETFs have long prided themselves on in-kind redemptions. Crypto, the unruly child, finally gets to sit at the grown-ups’ table—let’s see how long it stays there.

ETF liquidity providers, like surplus cousins at a family estate, suddenly have more room to maneuver. Funds redeem with less agony, prices cling closer to ‘true value’ (insofar as crypto has ever honored such a thing). Jamie Selway repeats: in-kind redemptions mean flexibility and cost advantages for all. Historians—take note.

Markets Gasp, Planners Scheme: What Next?

Crypto platforms and their investors—most of whom never needed much encouragement—cheer for the new order. Across the globe, other regulators now glance nervously at their own jurisdiction, wondering if their hands are as steady as the SEC’s newly emboldened fist. Risk? Perhaps less. Transparency? Perhaps more. The future? Certifiably unpredictable.

The in-kind tide signals more coins drifting to ETF shores. Every new ETF application will boast of this privilege. More traders are sure to leap into the waters—after all, the lifeboats seem slightly less leaky than before.

So, onward! American crypto ETFs are off to the races—again. With in-kind redemptions, digital assets may yet experience a transformation usurping even Petersburg society in springtime. One cannot help but chuckle at the irony; the more things change, the more the hustle remains. 🏇

2025-07-30 21:53

The Stage Is Set for a Volatile Epic

Markets Gasp, Planners Scheme: What Next?

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