SEC’s Ripple Retreat, Bitcoin Freeze, and Shiba Inu’s Grim Dance 💃🧊🐕

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“SEC’s Ripple Retreat, Bitcoin Freeze, and Shiba Inu‘s Grim Dance 💃🧊🐕”

SEC’s Ripple Retreat, Bitcoin Freeze, and Shiba Inu’s Grim Dance 💃🧊🐕

Oh, dear reader, the crypto circus unfurls its brilliant, bewildering banners once again. 🎪 Behold the top three sagas plucked from U.Today’s treasury of titillations.

SEC to pause Ripple appeal soon, top official predicts

In a quixotic twist that barely surprises anymore (send in the clowns 🤡), John Reed Stark, erstwhile czar of SEC’s Internet Enforcement Office, took to the cacophony of X to lob his prediction: the Ripple appeal is, well, on the verge of being indefinitely benched. “Expect all crypto-related appeals, including the one about our beloved Ripple, to pause or, better yet, disappear into bureaucratic ether,” he opined with all the zest of a weary weatherman forecasting drizzle.

The SEC’s game of musical chairs finds fresh rhythm under Acting Chairman Mark Uyeda, who stepped into the spotlight on—wait for it—January 20. Ripple’s tango with regulatory oversight now feels like a game of existential Jenga. Will it topple? 🤔 Stay tuned.

Strategy suddenly stops buying Bitcoin

Michael Saylor, crypto philosopher king and Strategy’s Executive Chairman, marched onto the digital soapbox recently to announce something truly riveting: nada. Zip. Zero. Last week, Strategy abstained from purchasing Bitcoin. (Insert gasps and pearl-clutching here. 😱)

For those keeping score at home, Strategy’s hoard of digital gold holds steady at an ungodly 478,740 BTC, bought at a nosebleed-worthy average of $65,033 apiece. Shares are now doing their best impression of a sleepy tortoise, while Bitcoin itself inches forward, clocking in at $96,063. Naturally, the crypto faithful continue to clutch their virtual wallets, whispering prayers to Satoshi. 🙏

Shiba Inu (SHIB) on verge of death cross: Possible scenarios

And now, a funeral march for our favorite canine-shaped meme coin. SHIB, still reeling in the wake of a relentless market gale, teeters on the edge of its so-called death cross. Sounds terrifying, no? But wait, there’s more! This doomsday harbinger—a short-term moving average crossing beneath a longer-term one—has analysts buzzing with equal parts dread and dark humor. 💀🐕

Down 4.4% since Monday, SHIB dances dangerously close to its support level of $0.000011, while its fans oscillate between existential dread and unbridled hopium. Could it bounce back? Fluctuate endlessly? Or nosedive into oblivion? Honestly, it’s crypto—anything’s possible. 🤷‍♀️

And there you have it, dear reader, the tantalizing trifecta of crypto mayhem. Until next time, ponder this: if a digital coin falls in the market and no one hears it crash, did it really happen? 😉

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2025-02-19 19:12