Senate Stalls Crypto Bill, But Not Before 2026! 🚀

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Ah, the long-awaited US crypto market structure bill-what a delightful spectacle of legislative procrastination! 🎭 The Senate Banking Committee, ever the paragon of bipartisanship, has deemed it prudent to delay the vote until the dawn of 2026. A triumph of ambition, truly. 📅

Pushing Crypto Bill Discussions To Next Year

Chairman Tim Scott, a man of remarkable patience, has declared that the committee will “revisit” the bill when the stars align-or perhaps when the next election cycle demands it. 🌟 A spokesperson, with the enthusiasm of a man describing a tax audit, noted that “strong progress” has been made. Strong progress-a term that, in Washington, means “we’ve barely begun.” 🤝

Meanwhile, the Democratic counterparts, ever the diligent collaborators, have agreed to “negotiate”… but only after the holidays. Because nothing says “unity” like a well-timed coffee break. ☕

The bill, which has already seen multiple drafts, is now as stable as a cryptocurrency in a bear market. 🐍 With the government funding deadline looming, the committee’s attention has shifted to… drumroll …funding the government. Because nothing says “prioritization” like deferring a crypto bill to fund a bureaucracy. 🗃️

Democrats, ever the cautious ones, have requested more time. “We must ensure the crypto world doesn’t collapse into chaos!” they cry, while simultaneously ignoring the fact that chaos is their default setting. 🤯

And let us not forget the ethical quandaries! Ah, yes-President Trump’s crypto ventures, which have allegedly enriched his family. A tale as old as time: “I’m not corrupt, I’m just very, very rich.” 🕵️♂️

Regulators Intensify Oversight Of Digital Assets

While Congress naps, regulators are busy playing dress-up with crypto. The SEC, ever the overzealous teacher, has issued staff statements and hosted roundtables-because nothing says “clarity” like 100 pages of legalese. 📚

The CFTC, meanwhile, has allowed licensed institutions to trade crypto like it’s 2017. And prediction markets? They’ve been granted “no-action relief” for their data requirements. Because who needs transparency when you can have drama? 🎭

The FDIC, that paragon of financial stability, is now drafting rules for stablecoins. A proposal so detailed, it could double as a bedtime story. 📖 Meanwhile, Travis Hill, the FDIC’s new star, is already drafting standards for stablecoin issuers. Because nothing says “prudence” like requiring banks to manage crypto like it’s a toddler. 🍼

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2025-12-16 13:15