Well, well, well, looks like the SHIB crew is having a bit of a Bridget Jones moment – except instead of a diary, they’re tweeting at the FBI. 🥴 After the Shibarium Bridge exploit turned their world into a crypto nightmare, Lucy, the marketing queen of SHIB, has had enough. She’s not just sipping Chardonnay and crying into her pillow; she’s tagging the FBI, Interpol, RCMP, and even KuCoin in a desperate plea for justice. 💻✨
On Tuesday, December 2, Lucy took to Twitter (or X, or whatever it’s called now) with a dramatic cry for help that would make Bridget Jones proud. 🗣️ “I wish for a crypto miracle and for all these bastards to be caught,” she tweeted, clearly at her wit’s end. “All these psychopaths with their twisted minds harming innocent people… sigh. @kucoincom @fbi @RCMP @INTERPOL_HQ When will cybercrime be taken seriously? I bet they got better tools and way to investigate…” 😤🔍
I wish for a crypto miracle and for all these bastards to be caught.
All these psychopaths with their twisted minds harming innocent people… sigh.@kucoincom @fbi @RCMP @INTERPOL_HQWhen will cybercrime be taken seriously?
I bet they got better tools and way to investigate…
– 𝐋𝐔𝐂𝐈𝐄 (@LucieSHIB) December 2, 2025
Because, let’s face it, who needs a happy ending in a romance novel when you can have a happy ending in a crypto fraud case? 🌟 Lucy’s not just asking for help with this one exploit; she’s demanding a full-on crackdown on the surge of cyber attacks in the crypto space. “Get your act together, people!” she’s basically screaming into the void. 🗣️💥
SHIB Sleuth Tracks Shady Transactions to KuCoin 🕵️♂️💸
Meanwhile, a local SHIB investigator (think Mark Darcy but with more blockchain knowledge) has been hard at work. This Sherlock Holmes of the crypto world has traced thousands of malicious transactions back to – drumroll, please – KuCoin. 🥁🤯 According to the investigator, they found 48 KuCoin deposits using 45 unique addresses. How very organized of the hackers. 🙄
After analyzing 293 transactions across 111 wallets (because why make it easy?), they discovered that roughly 260 ETH had been laundered through Tornado Cash, with 232.49 ETH ending up at KuCoin. But here’s the kicker: the hackers accidentally transferred 0.0874 ETH to a “clean” address, exposing their entire money-laundering scheme. Oopsie! 😂💸
“We’ve frozen recoverable funds,” the investigator said, probably while sipping a smug cup of tea. ☕✨ But here’s where the plot thickens: KuCoin’s fraud team is acting like they’ve never heard of urgency. Despite receiving on-chain evidence, they’re demanding a law-enforcement case number before lifting a finger. Talk about red tape! 📛🤦♀️
KuCoin Plays Hard to Get, Lucy Loses Her Cool 😤💔
Lucy, naturally, is not having it. She’s called out KuCoin, the FBI, RCMP, and Interpol, demanding they get their acts together. “Swift action, people!” she’s essentially yelling. “Innocent SHIB holders are suffering!” 🆘💔
So, will this crypto drama have a happy ending? Will the hackers be caught and brought to justice? Or will Lucy be left sipping her Chardonnay, muttering about psychopaths and cybercrime? Stay tuned, folks. This is one crypto saga you won’t want to miss. 🍿🚀
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2025-12-02 23:23