Shocking Crypto News: You Won’t Believe What’s Happening! 😱

So, Brian Armstrong, the big cheese at Coinbase, thinks it’s high time U.S. stablecoin laws got a makeover. I mean, who wouldn’t want to earn interest on their stablecoins? It’s like having a checking account that actually does something other than just sit there looking pretty. The tech is ready to roll, but the laws? They’re still stuck in the Stone Age. Apparently, stablecoins can’t share the love (a.k.a. interest) because they don’t get the same VIP treatment as traditional securities. Come on, lawmakers! Let’s unlock that stablecoin potential before we all turn into grumpy old investors! 💸

So, Bitcoin’s price is doing the limbo dance—down, down, down—despite Michael Saylor throwing $2 billion at it. Why, you ask? Well, the market had already factored in this little shopping spree. It’s like everyone knew he was going to buy, so it’s not exactly a surprise party. Meanwhile, other big players are cashing out after Bitcoin’s wild 100% gain in 2024. And let’s be real, $2 billion is like a drop in the ocean of a $1.7–$2 trillion market. The real drama is in global liquidity trends, which are tighter than my jeans after the holidays. But don’t worry, once liquidity decides to join the party, Bitcoin might just break out—if you can hang in there long enough! ⏳

In a move that screams “I’m serious about this Bitcoin thing,” Tether just snagged 8,888 BTC for a cool $735 million in Q1 2025. They’re investing 15% of their quarterly profits into Bitcoin like it’s a new diet fad. This purchase happened on the last day of the quarter—talk about a last-minute shopping spree! Now, Tether is sitting pretty with 100,521 BTC, worth around $8.29 billion. They’re basically the corporate equivalent of that friend who always has the best snacks at the party. 🍕

Heads up, folks! There’s a fake email making the rounds claiming that Gemini has filed for bankruptcy. It’s like the worst kind of April Fool’s joke. The email is urging users to withdraw funds to an Exodus wallet and even throws in a seed phrase—because who doesn’t love a good scam? 🚫 Do not fall for this nonsense or share any personal info. Gemini hasn’t confirmed any bankruptcy, so let’s not panic like it’s the end of the world. Spread the word and keep your friends safe from this digital trickery! 🕵️‍♀️