- SoFi’s set to waltz back into crypto like it never left—this time, with federal lawmen waving them through 🚀
- They’re dangling all the newfangled gizmos: blockchain whatchamacallits, digital-coin IOUs, and “loans” for your virtual savings jar 🤡
If you thought SoFi had rode off into the sunset after its 2023 crypto retreat, partner, think again. Turns out they were just ducking lawmen. Now, word on the river is that some new rules (forged in that grand ol’ era of Trump) have loosened up, and SoFi’s CEO, Anthony Noto, is oiling his boots for a proper comeback.
Back when folks were wringing their hands and chasing charters, SoFi had to slam the saloon doors shut on its stable of 20+ wild cryptocurrencies. But times, apparently, are a-changin’. The Office of the Comptroller of the Currency tipped its hat, and, well, the crypto rodeo is back on at SoFi.
What’s Noto up to now?
Sittin’ down for a fireside shindig on CNBC, Noto dropped hints like a card shark with a secret ace. SoFi, he reckons, is bustin’ back into crypto—not just a toe-dip in the creek, but a cannonball. Everything on the SoFi ranch, from savings buckets to your rainy-day funds, is getting a lick of blockchain sooner or later.
“We’re fixing to re-enter that wild crypto country. Let our folks buy in, invest—heck, maybe we’ll even lasso the blockchain for every product we got. Why not?”
The OCC gave the green light (after making everyone read a new list of rules, naturally), and Noto’s posse is aiming for crypto investing to be back in the corral before this New Year’s ball drops. 🥳
Blame it on a March memo—seems the banks can finally play sheriff and cowboy without the usual hassle, clearing SoFi’s trail for bigger, bolder blockchain shenanigans.
What’s got them so giddy?
Noto says SoFi’s not just bidding for another crypto sideshow—they’re planning the whole circus. Imagine blockchain slapped onto every checking account, loan, and lemonade stand—a marvel P.T. Barnum could only dream of.
They’re dusting off schemes for crypto-powered payments and loans. Picture this: “Want to buy a pony, but all you’ve got is meme coins? We got you.” Borrow cash against your digital unicorns and sleep tight!
“We’ve got dreams big enough to fill the Mississippi. If there’s tech that’ll fit between lending, saving, investing, or just keeping your mattress stuffed—we’ll find a way to bolt a blockchain on it.”
From crypto-backed loans to paying your next bill with magic internet coins, ain’t nothing off-limits—if you can dream it (and the lawyers agree), it’s probably on a whiteboard somewhere in their office.
Crypto—still wilder than a June bug in July
All this comes while the great crypto corral is cooling off after a long, hard ride. The global market cap? Sitting at $2.92 trillion, down just a smidge (1.78%), and Bitcoin’s kicking its spurs at $93,222, after bucking up at $95,000. Wild, but not stampede-wild.
Yet the traders in this market have steadier nerves than a riverboat gambler—nobody’s racing for the exits. There’s a whiff of courage and patience in the air—just the mood for SoFi to try and sell the next hot thing, or at least lose a few less hats than last time. 🤠
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2025-05-01 10:06