Steak ‘n Shake: Bitcoin Steakburger – Financial Revolution or a Cringe Cash Cow? 🐄💸

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Behold! The $6.49 abomination: two steakburger patties, two slices of cheese, and a bun stamped with a Bitcoin logo. Because nothing says “future” like processed meat and financial chaos.

Now at Steak ‘n Shake: The Bitcoin Steakburger – A Culinary Masterpiece or a Cry for Help?

Fast food titan Steak ‘n Shake has daringly unleashed a monstrosity called the “Bitcoin Steakburger” to celebrate its “groundbreaking” shift to Bitcoin payments. Their COO, Dan Edwards, once declared they save “50% in processing fees” by sending money to a digital ledger only cryptographers understand. Who needs banks when you can just… hope the blockchain works?

(This isn’t a sandwich. It’s a statement. Or at least a really fancy way to lose 50% of your processing fees. / Steak ‘n Shake)

Steak ‘n Shake, with 100 million customers and 426 locations (because why not?), is owned by Biglari Holdings, which somehow went from a $48 million loss to a $50 million profit. Coincidence? Or did Bitcoin magic happen? Probably neither. Just call it “market volatility.”

“Same-store sales up 10.7%!” they shouted in August. “Bitcoin has been a game changer!” Sure, because nothing changes the game like a $6.49 burger that’s technically a “financial instrument.”

Now, in a stunning act of brand synergy, they’ve added a “Bitcoin Meal” with “Super Size Beef Tallow Fries” for $10.98. Because seed oils are evil, and beef tallow is the savior of humanity (and U.S. Secretary of Health Robert F. Kennedy Jr. agrees!).

“Five months ago, we began accepting Bitcoin,” they announced. “The support from the Bitcoin community has been astounding!” Translation: We’re now the butt of every crypto meme. Embrace it.

FAQ: Because You Probably Still Have Questions (Spoiler: No One Knows)

  • What is the Bitcoin Steakburger?
    It’s a $6.49 abomination… or culinary genius… depending on your tolerance for cheese and confusion. Add pickles for a fee. Add hope for free.
  • Why did Steak ’n Shake release it?
    To celebrate their “visionary” pivot to Bitcoin. Because nothing screams innovation like a burger with a logo on it. Next, they’ll sell Bitcoin-shaped fries.
  • How has Bitcoin helped the company?
    COO Dan Edwards says transactions cut costs by 50%. Or as he probably meant: “We’re now the poster child for financial chaos.”
  • Who owns Steak ’n Shake?
    Biglari Holdings, a company that somehow turned $48 million in losses into $50 million in profits. Magic! Or accounting. Probably accounting.

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2025-10-17 10:23