Strategy doesn’t sweat Bitcoin crash since reserves exceed debt obligations

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Ah, Strategy-where the Bitcoin is as abundant as the excuses for its plummeting stock price. They’ve assured investors that their precious stash of Bitcoin is not only safe but absolutely massive-so massive that even as the stock falls faster than a hardware wallet hurled off a balcony, their debt remains but a mere speck of dust in comparison. 👀

  • Strategy claims its Bitcoin holdings outstrip its debt by an impressive 5.9x ratio, even with its average purchase price, and a still-decent 2.0x ratio in the event of an apocalyptic market crash. Because who wouldn’t want to ride the Bitcoin rollercoaster, right?
  • The stock price has sunk lower than a sinking ship, resulting in its removal from the S&P 500-just another badge of honor on its financial journey.
  • For the first time in five years, the company’s market value is worth less than its Bitcoin stash. Let that sink in. 💸

Michael Saylor, the mastermind behind this financial circus, boldly proclaimed that their Bitcoin holdings would be worth nearly six times their outstanding convertible notes if Bitcoin were to fall to Strategy’s average purchase price. This now-gloriously-titled “Bitcoin Rating” seems to be the new measure of success, right up there with ‘most delusional claims made in a crisis.’ 🙃

Even in the worst-case scenario-when Bitcoin crashes harder than that same hardware wallet-Strategy assures us their ratio would remain at a still-comfortable 2.0x, according to the ever-optimistic figures compiled by BitcoinTreasuries. Who needs reality when you have numbers, right?

But here’s where things get awkward: Strategy’s share price has been falling like it’s in freefall. On November 25, they were removed from the S&P 500, the financial equivalent of getting kicked out of the cool kids’ club. Ouch. 💔

And it doesn’t stop there-MSCI is expected to weigh in soon on whether companies like Strategy, whose assets are practically bursting with Bitcoin, should even be allowed to stay in equity indices. The specter of forced selling looms large, with some of the crypto faithful accusing JPMorgan of attacking Strategy to profit from a supposed short position. But Perera, ever the detective, found no proof of a JPMorgan short, only evidence of share sales and some put options. 🤷‍♂️

Institutions aren’t abandoning Bitcoin-just Strategy

As institutional investors slowly backed away from Strategy in the third quarter, it became clear: there are safer ways to gain Bitcoin exposure. Why take the rollercoaster ride with Strategy when you can just ride shotgun with BlackRock’s spot Bitcoin ETF instead? The big dogs-like Harvard University-are all aboard, leaving Strategy in the dust. 🏫

For the first time in five years, Strategy’s market cap is now sitting below the value of its Bitcoin holdings. A real “oops” moment for the once-thriving company. 😬

But Matt Hougan, a Bitwise analyst, pointed out that companies heavily invested in crypto tend to trade at discounts because of high operational costs and perceived risk. Yet Strategy-undeterred by the negativity-is still gobbling up Bitcoin like a hungry teenager at an all-you-can-eat buffet. With plans to move even more into custody and raise capital to buy even more, it seems there’s no stopping them. 🥳

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2025-11-27 01:27