Swiss Bank Says ‘No Thanks’ to Bitcoin—Is Gold Still the Cool Kid?

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Martin Schlegel, master of ceremonies at the Swiss National Bank (SNB), has given Bitcoin the financial equivalent of a polite but firm handshake and a “no, thank you,” according to Reuters. The world’s premier digital jellybean just doesn’t make the cut for Swiss reserves, mostly because it has the emotional stability of a caffeinated squirrel.

Apparently, Bitcoin’s wild mood swings — jumping from “moonshot” to “mild existential crisis” in minutes — make it unsuitable for the SNB’s delicate constitution. Not exactly what you want when managing billions in taxpayer trust.

In an audacious move last December, some Swiss crypto enthusiasts decided to try and rewrite the country’s constitution to let Bitcoin crash the party. But to even get a polite nod from parliament, they need to rope in 100,000 signatures by June 30, which is either a Herculean task or a great way to test whether crypto fans are as passionate offline as they are online.

In 2021, a similar attempt flopped harder than a fish out of water, but thanks to America’s recent crypto U-turn (currently the hottest trend in territorial fashion), the Bitcoin cheerleaders remain surprisingly hopeful.

Switzerland is kind of like the cool, crypto-friendly kid on the block who still insists on paying for club entry with gold nuggets. And indeed, the SNB’s vault glitteringly boasts over $900 billion stuffed under its mattress—spread around in sensible things like U.S. dollars and Japanese yen, with a gleaming $94 billion in gold because who doesn’t love shiny rocks?

So, while the crypto party rages on outside, inside the Swiss bank it’s more “keep calm and carry gold.”

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2025-04-25 16:54