The Absurd Triumph of Trump’s Memecoin: Millions for Crypto Exchanges!

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In a manner befitting the operatic farce that is contemporary finance, the cryptocurrency escapade of Donald Trump, dubbed the Official Trump (TRUMP) memecoin, has unfolded like a tragicomedy, yielding extravagant profits whilst leaving a trail of bewilderment and ruin in its wake. The esteemed exchanges, such as Binance, Coinbase, and OKX, have gorged themselves upon the lavish spoils of at least $172 million in trading fees, their avarice thinly veiled by the allure of quick gains.

Ah, the memecoin—launched a mere six months ago, yet devouring the naïve hopes of the many whilst enriching its cunning creators! It is a reflection of our times, where the ephemeral charm of digital currency sways the masses, leading them to the precipice of financial folly. One cannot help but chuckle at the absurdity of it all: while a fortunate 45 wallets gleefully raked in about $1.2 billion, a staggering multitude of 712,777 has collectively suffered losses nearing $4.3 billion. The disparity bespeaks the immortal truth of capitalism’s double edge! 😂

Accelerated Listings Among Absurdity

Now, imagine a realm where reason is cast aside for the ephemeral thrill of profit! The Reuters report reveals the seemingly hasty listings of the TRUMP token, much swifter than its peers like Pepe (PEPE) or Bonk (BONK)—a grim reflection of the exchanges’ priorities. On average, our dear exchanges took 129 days to bestow their favor upon other frivolous coins, while TRUMP received its benevolent blessing in a lamentable four days. The exchanges argued passionately, driven by an insatiable “overwhelming demand” for the Trump coin.

The Prowess of Coinbase

Even in the quagmire of this absurd marketplace, Coinbase, in its unladylike haste, decided upon the listing in a mere day, as if knowing the fickle nature of the crowd. “Users could engage with the token positively and safely,” mused Paul Grewal, the Chief Legal Officer, with a measure of irony that could make even the most stoic chuckle. Yet, the very decision was colorfully wrapped in the caveat of being an “experimental” token, thus gently nudging participants to expect the unexpected, including wild price fluctuations. 🎢

However, amidst the chaos, the exchange would be forced to protect itself, closing gates to certain residents of New York—an ironic twist, indeed, for those who dare navigate this electoral circus.

The New York Department of Financial Services gleefully labeled these memecoins as “sentiment-based virtual currencies,” casting shadows upon their stability—drawing a curtain on potential losses, black-market trades, and other nocturnal schemes flourishing in the dim light of human greed. Was it not fate? For some exchanges, such as MEXC and Bitget, the pressing weight of demand outshone their past hesitations regarding the coin’s alarming supply concentration: 80% held by a select few, a high-stakes gamble by any measure. Gracy Chen of Bitget verbalized the paradox succinctly, humor dripping from her words: “User trading volume overrode the so-called risky factor here.” 🙃

The numbers continue to dazzle—while profits for CEXs from the TRUMP escapade surfaced months later, the net gain for its masterminds reflected a sinister $314 million, with an additional $36 million gleaned from Solana fees. The dance of capital persists, leaving only questions and the frail fabric of society to bear witness to this tragic farce.

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2025-07-14 18:06