The Great HYPE Inferno: Validators to Decide Fate of 10% of Tokens in Fiery Vote 🔥

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The Hyper Foundation, that noblest of institutions, has proposed a most existential question: Shall we declare 37 million HYPE tokens dead, despite them already being locked in a digital purgatory? Validators, prepare to play God-or at least accountants with a flair for the dramatic. 🎭

“Is HYPE in the Assistance Fund

truly

dead?” Spoiler: It’s been six feet under since day one. 🕯️

  • Tokens reside in an address with no key-like a vault guarded by a doorman who quit in 2023. 👤❌
  • Vote ends Dec. 24. Christmas miracle? Unlikely. The Grinch already stole the private key. 🎄😈

    • The Ghost Town of HYPE

    Picture this: A fund filled with tokens converted from trading fees, sitting in an address “as secure as Chekhov’s distrust of happy endings.” 🔐 The Foundation insists they’re “mathematically irretrievable,” but let’s be real-someone’s nephew coded this. 🧙♂️

    “We propose a vote to recognize these tokens as burned, because staring at a void and calling it ‘art’ is what governance is all about.”

    -Hyper Foundation, probably, but with more buzzwords

    – @HyperFND (verified? Maybe. Ask a validator.)

    The Assistance Fund, a system so automated it could’ve been designed by a sleep-deprived intern, has turned into a blockchain purgatory. The tokens? Trapped like a cockroach in a museum exhibit labeled “The Futility of Wealth.” 🐞

    A “Yes” vote would cement the protocol’s commitment to “principled inaction,” a value Chekhov himself would’ve admired between sips of lukewarm tea. 🫖

    Theatre of the Absurd: Validator Edition

    Validators must signal by Dec. 21-a date chosen for its proximity to holiday existential dread. Stakeholders may delegate votes until the 24th, because nothing says “democracy” like last-minute panic. 🕰️

    If passed, the tokens join the blockchain’s hall of shame: grants denied, emergencies unaddressed, and dreams dashed. The Foundation insists this is “not a technical change,” which is what people say before things explode. 💥

    This vote follows September’s failed proposal to cut supply by 45%-a plan so ambitious, it made the current one look like a child scribbling “KICK ME” on a bear. 🐻✍️

    Hyperliquid, 2025’s top perpetuals venue, now faces a crisis of its own creation: fees flow into the Assistance Fund like “tears at a wedding.” 🤍 The irony? They’re burning money to make money. Pyromaniac investors, rejoice! 🕯️

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    2025-12-17 07:30