The Trump-Baked Bitcoin Boom: 215 BTC and Counting! 🚀

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Well, darling, it appears that American Bitcoin—backed by none other than Donald Trump’s illustrious boys, Eric and Don Jr.—has been snooping around the crypto vaults and accumulating a rather fetching stash of 215 BTC since its debut on April 1. No fooling! 💰

This charming venture—officially titled ABTC—is positioning itself not merely as another mining operation but as a long-term hoarder of Bitcoin (BTC). Published happily in a June 6 SEC filing, they seem quite proud of their secret treasure trove, which now whispers worth over $23 million. Shh, don’t tell the boys next door! “ABTC considers its reserve a core strategic asset,” they said brightly, “managed adaptively”—whatever that means—probably to keep Uncle Sam happy and their coffers chubbier. đŸ€‘

What’s quite delightful, truly, is their approach. No fixed BTC target, mind you. Their strategy is as flexible as a contortionist at a soirĂ©e—assessing market trends and expanding as they see fit. Bitcoin isn’t just a sideline, my dear, it *is* the business. Long-term ownership, not just a flirtation. Who knew? 🙄

And what of their endeavors? Well, push the champagne! ABTC invests directly in mining rather than buying fancy real estate for their digital gold. Over 60,000 miners—mainly Bitmain and MicroBT—are working tirelessly across facilities in New York, Alberta, and Texas. These little beasts boast a combined hashrate of 10.17 exahashes per second, with efficiency so high it would make a Prius blush. Their partnerships with Hut 8 keep costs down while they play the global game of crypto Monopoly. Monopoly, but with more “mining” and less “reading the instructions.” đŸ’Œ

Their miners contribute to pools like Foundry and Luxor, where rewards are doled out based on contribution—sweet as pie, with fees below 1%. Their three-tiered master plan involves building a lean, mean mining machine, growing their Bitcoin treasure (or “reserve,” for the financers), and rubbing elbows with Bitcoin’s big players. Oh, they trust Coinbase Custody to give their Bitcoin the Fort Knox treatment—multifactor authentication and whitelisted withdrawals, just to keep the kiddies out. Security first, darling!

American Bitcoin to go public via Gryphon merge

In a move that’s as predictable as a London fog, American Bitcoin announced on May 12 that it plans to go public—via a merger with Gryphon Digital Mining. The transaction will be a stock-for-stock affair, with the merged entity proudly bearing the American Bitcoin name. đŸ‡ș🇾

Eric Trump, in all his glory, will sit on the board, and Hut 8 will continue to call the shots—because nothing says stability like a family affair with a dash of corporate intrigue. Post-merger, existing American Bitcoin shareholders will hold about 98%—because who needs diversity when you have a Trump-backed Bitcoin empire? Hut 8 will keep managing the infrastructure, making their dollar stretch as far as a rich uncle’s holiday fund. đŸ’ŒđŸ’ž

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2025-06-10 16:50