This Billionaire Thinks Bitcoin is on the Brink of Vanishing! 😂💸

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So, billionaire savant and certified “I know more about money than you” guy Jack Dorsey just threw down the gauntlet on Bitcoin (BTC) while sipping some high-end oat milk latte. Dramatic, right? He says BTC could totally flop unless it gets its act together on a little thing called daily transactions. Y’know, like actually using the stuff.

In a chat on the Presidio Bitcoin YouTube channel—and yes, it’s as riveting as it sounds—Dorsey imagines stepping into a dystopian future where Bitcoin has achieved the same status as your grandma’s outdated smartphone. 💾

So how does this tragic tale unfold? Dorsey grimly predicts Bitcoin wilts into a dusty relic because it’s just sitting pretty as a “store of value,” while the rest of us are using cash to buy avocado toast.

“I think it fails through irrelevance. It’s like that friend who only shows up when there’s free food at your party. If it’s just a fancy savings account but never makes it to the check-out line, it’s doomed to fade like last season’s fashion.”

“It really needs to be actual payments for people to care—otherwise, it’s just something you shove in a drawer for ‘emergencies’ or when you want to be financially liquid again, like when you find your old mixtapes.”

But wait! There’s hope! When grilled on how to save Bitcoin from its impending doom, Dorsey’s like, “Hey, let’s put some rocket fuel on this bad boy!” More apps, faster payments—like a virtual race between Visa, Mastercard, and Bitcoin, the underdog no one believes in!

“We need to make it easy, breezy, beautiful—like CoverGirl but for payments. And the more secure it gets, the better! Nobody wants to feel like they’re sending their cash into the void. Having a third currency option keeps the major players in line, you know? Like keeping your roomate’s ‘unique’ eating habits in check!”

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2025-04-09 03:01