What’s going on, darling?
- Jerome Powell, aka Captain of Team Fed, is getting collectively booed (again) by President Trump, Bill Pulte (yes, that guy), and a supporting cast of headline-hungry politicians.
- Legally, you can’t just yeet Powell out of his fancy office without a good reason, but the vultures are circling and the succession spreadsheets are out.
- The crypto crowd is clutching their keyboards, praying for those delicious rate cuts because, let’s face it, liquidity makes everything more fun…and volatile. 💸
Jerome Powell, the Federal Reserve’s stoic figurehead, is now starring in his least favorite sequel: Fed Chair, Under Fire: This Time, It’s Personal. (His contract says he can’t leave until May 2026 unless there’s a dramatic plot twist.)
But plot twist: over the past two weeks, President Trump, FHFA’s Bill Pulte, Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt, random Congresspeople, and even Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent have decided Jerome’s starring days are numbered. The accusations? Mismanaging money, playing political puppet, and—gasp—renovating his office. The horror!

Meanwhile, crypto fans are stress-eating Cheetos and praying the blood sport at the top ends with Powell blinking and lowering rates—because what the markets need right now is more adrenaline, not less. 🚀
So the million-dollar question: Has Powell got the stamina for this Game of (Fed) Thrones, or is the pink slip already in the mail?
Trump’s Beef: The Remix
Trump—who chose Powell back in 2017 and has regretted it more openly than most ex-lovers—has revived his favorite feud. Back in his OG presidency, Trump was already salty about rate hikes, even toying with firing Powell in 2019. Fast forward: after the 2024 election win, Trump’s throwing verbal bricks (and possibly a few sticky notes) from the White House.
On June 27, Trump called Powell a “stubborn mule,” upset that interest rates are higher than the average American’s credit score. By June 30, Leavitt has unearthed handwritten demands for lower rates, invoking Japan and China, because, obviously, international comparisons make everything sound urgent.
Fun fact: The Fed is supposed to be independent—like the “I’m just focusing on me right now” of government entities. The Chair doesn’t rule alone (sadly, no royal scepter); decisions happen via committee (so, basically, like a dinner party where no one agrees on the wine).
July 3 brought us a Truth Social call for Powell’s resignation, this time about a $2.5 billion HQ renovation (possibly just needed more closets). Trump occasionally denies planning to fire Powell, but has a post-it note of possible replacements stuck to his monitor: Kevin Warsh, Christopher Waller, or literally anyone else.
Let’s remember: Trump once said Powell was a bigger “enemy” than Xi Jinping. Seriously. You can’t buy that kind of drama.
Fresh off the re-election, Trump is again googling “how to fire Fed Chair” while Powell quietly ignores the notifications. (If this were a sitcom, this would be the “will-they-won’t-they” plotline no one wanted.)
Pulte’s Housing Rant—Now With Added Drama!
Bill Pulte, the Federal Housing Finance Agency head and newly minted Powell nemesis, is not here for high rates—because apparently, expensive mortgages are bad for business. Who knew?
By July 2, Pulte had gone full detective, demanding a congressional investigation after Powell’s Senate testimony, alleging the Fed HQ reno included a secret “VIP dining room.” Honestly, priorities. He’s got backup from Senator Cynthia Lummis, who apparently has opinions about velvet drapes and inflation risk, and from the echo chamber on X, where Pulte accuses Powell of inventing inflation (take that, textbooks!).
Mortgage rates? 6.6%–7%. Pulte thinks this is the end of the American Dream. Powell insists the “luxury” hot tub was never on the budget. Spare a thought for the poor interior decorator, caught in the crossfire.
Everybody’s Got an Opinion
Republican Senators Rick Scott and Tommy Tuberville have joined the roast. Scott, in true “concerned parent at a PTA meeting” fashion, says Powell runs an “unaccountable Fed” that lost trillions and wants to upgrade the break room. On June 17, more outrage: Powell is overpaid, the Fed is anti-growth, and “someone do something!” Tuberville’s solution? Fire him. With gusto.
House Judiciary Chair Jim Jordan, smelling congressional blood, is leaving “everything on the table,” including (but not limited to) an investigation, some oversight, and possibly a sternly worded letter.
Meanwhile, Scott Bessent— current Treasury Secretary and a would-be Fed successor— is already measuring the drapes in his imaginary office, while warning everyone not to cause a market tantrum. Apparently, April’s 15% market dip was enough drama for one fiscal year.
Powell’s Poker Face 🕶️
Here’s the twist: you can’t just fire the Fed Chair because you don’t like his tie. The law says you need a real reason, like gross misconduct, not just “he didn’t cut rates before my birthday.” The Supreme Court is on Team Powell… for now.
Since 2018, Powell has treated political tantrums as white noise—probably by imagining himself on a remote beach with an aggressively normal interest rate. He keeps banging on about data, inflation, and the need to keep things boring. Like, 2% inflation-boring. The kind that puts economists to sleep. 💤
Is he phased by the shade? Nah. At his last press conference, Powell gave the classic “I’m just here to do my job” speech and ignored the Twitterstorm. The renovation accusations don’t pass the legal smell test, but Powell could still end up as a “shadow chair” — the spiritual equivalent of being included in work emails “for awareness only.”
Stay Tuned…
The short version: everyone wants a piece of Powell—Trump for the legacy, Pulte for the house prices, Congress for the headlines, Bessent for the office. Legally, Powell is safe-ish, but in politics, “safe” is just “about to trend on X.” The next two years might be his longest yet.
Will Powell cling to the swivel chair until 2026 or hand over the keys to the kingdom early? Will the HQ ever get those luxury upgrades? More importantly, will crypto ever recover from the suspense? Either way, someone, somewhere, is already preparing the resignation cake—just in case. 🧁
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2025-07-08 20:03