If you’ve ever bought a scratch-off ticket and pictured yourself retiring to an Italian seaside villa, meet your spirit animal: an unnamed, possibly pantsless crypto trader who just parlayed $239 into $2.2 million thanks to the Solana-based memecoin HOUSE. Apparently, some people just get all the luck—or maybe the instruction manual.
From Couch Change to Crypto Chic
Lookonchain, the unofficial town crier for degenerate gains, noticed this Wall Street wolf in meme-sheep’s clothing and spilled the beans on X. Our hero bought 25.77 million HOUSE coins for the cost of a bad date at Applebee’s. Four separate transactions, which for normal people is called “second-guessing,” but in crypto it’s called “alpha.”
The market gods smiled. HOUSE climbed to its highest-ever perch, up 0.1055%—a number so minuscule it sounds like a rounding error. And yet, that little decimal transformed $239 into a rippling $2.2 million windfall. Imagine checking your wallet and finding out you can buy a yacht, or at least a really nice inflatable raft.
Being the savvy investor, he unloaded 1.91 million HOUSE for $58.8K (finally, something you can tell your financial advisor without getting laughed out of the bank). The rest—a cool $2.15 million in digital Monopoly money—is still sitting pretty, apparently being serenaded into early retirement.
“A month ago, he bought 25.77M $HOUSE for only $239, sold 1.91M $HOUSE for $58.8K, and still holds 23.85M $HOUSE (2.15M),” Lookonchain shared, possibly while sobbing gently into their soup.
Overnight, HOUSE pumps by 60%, trading volume explodes past $53 million, and somewhere, several hedge fund managers develop a sudden urge to cry in the rain. Clearly, this is what happens when Bitcoin and altcoins start flexing on a Monday morning.
The “Early Retirement” or “Late-Night Plotting” Mystery 🕵️♂️
Yet, as always in crypto, joy rides shotgun with paranoia. Since winning the HOUSE lottery, our trader’s on-chain activity has basically flatlined. Used to be he’d buy and sell ten memecoins before breakfast. Now? Nothing. Either he’s sipping cocktails with Leonardo DiCaprio or quietly deleting Discord chat history.
Lookonchain guesses the trader is enjoying “retirement,” but half of crypto Twitter suspects insider trading. After all, if you discovered an incoming pump, would you spend your time trading garbage pandas and dog mascots? Or would you simply invent a reason to buy an expensive chair?
“He used to trade ~10 coins daily but has hardly traded after buying $HOUSE,” noted Lookonchain. Early retirement? Or hatching his next evil plan?
This is not the first time the profits have been suspiciously good. An earlier bunch pulled $666K out of their, er, Base Is For Everyone token, after a $4.5K investment. Judgmental stares ensued. Perhaps they also retired, or at least upgraded to name-brand soda.
All this drama set against a backdrop of memecoins clawing back after Trump’s tariff theatrics wiped out 50% of meme-market cap last April. So, next time someone asks you where your life savings went, just show them this article—then explain how you “almost” bought HOUSE.
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2025-04-30 14:53