Tom Lee’s Bitcoin Crystal Ball Gets Smeared 😏

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As I write this, I can’t help but chuckle at how BitMine Immersion Technologies has been playing Monopoly: Crypto Edition with Ether (ETH). Over the last three days, much like a squirrel gathering nuts, they’ve scooped up an impressive 23,773 Ether while everyone else is busy crying over market slumps. 🐿️💸

According to a pointy-headed caveman from the looooong-forgotten tribes of Lookonchain (who used something called “X posts” to broadcast their findings), BitMine dropped $19.8 million for 7,080 ETH on a particularly dreary Monday. And then, like a parent buying a lottery ticket after losing the last one, they went and grabbed another 16,693 ETH for $50.1 million on Saturday. 🤑

BitMines New ETH Trophies

Collecting digital trinkets seems to be in fashion with Bitwise scooping up 96,800 ETH for a cool $273.2 million last week. Apparently, Bitmine is now the reigning king of ETH digital asset treasuries (DAT). Because who doesn’t love a good ol’ chest of digital jewels? They’re 62% towards their lofty goal of claiming 5% of the Ether supply, though it’s a bit like owning a fancy yacht when the captain’s feet are freezing on deck-because, gods help me, they’re “in the red.” 🚢🌊

BitMine's Virtual Treasure Chest

Tom Lee: Crypto Nostradamus with Mixed Messages

Let’s talk about Tom Lee, the man who’s decided to channel Nostradamus for Bitcoin predictions. Remember when he said Bitcoin would hit a sweet $250,000 “very soon”? Well, after the crypto winter decided to swoop in with its icy beak, he toned it down. A “maybe” by year-end, he said, with the nonchalance of a weather forecaster in a hurricane. 😅

But wait, there’s more! During a Sunday tête-à-tête with CNBC, Lee proclaimed Bitcoin would amaze us all with a new high in January, adding it all hinged on equities pulling a Lazarus. I’m conviced Wall Street loved that one, shaking their heads knowingly at the sheer brilliance. 🌟

Meanwhile, Jeff Dorman, Arca’s head honcho (for digital assets, of course), shook his head in disbelief over Twitter-or as close as we get these days. With the upside of all things pretty, including stocks, gold, and AI, why, oh why, was crypto sulking? He pinned it on everyone’s lack of imagination-or perhaps a liquidity problem from large institutions wanting a piece of the pie but finding the oven still warm from last week’s burned Bitcoin. Let’s face it; they’d rather play it safe even if it costs them the thrill of the chase. 🎯

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2025-12-02 07:58