Trump Refuses Bitcoin Until It’s Worth a King’s Ransom! 🤑💰

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Our dear and illustrious Jeff Park, Head of Alpha Strategies at Bitwise, has declared with the grandeur of a seasoned court jester, that the most exalted President of the United States, Donald Trump, shall not deign to add more Bitcoin to his coffers until it ascends to the lofty heights of $60,000. This pronouncement, delivered with all the gravity of a royal edict, was shared on his official X account, amidst whispers of “budget-neutral” schemes the administration might employ to bolster the newly minted US Strategic Bitcoin Reserve, a treasure trove of digital gold if ever there was one.

On the illustrious date of March 6, 2025, President Trump, in a move that could rival the grandeur of any medieval king, issued an Executive Order to establish this very reserve. This strategic move positions the United States as a leading power in the realm of digital assets. The administration has already amassed a staggering 200,000 BTC, valued at a princely sum of $17 billion, primarily through the spoils of criminal and civil asset forfeitures—though an audit is pending to ensure all is as it should be. While the Executive Order forbids the selling of Bitcoin from this reserve, it does direct the Secretaries of the Treasury and Commerce to explore “budget-neutral” methods to acquire more BTC, ensuring no additional burden on the noble taxpayers.

Mr. Park, ever the sage, cuts through the market chatter with a keen understanding of the political machinations that underpin such decisions. In a post that could be mistaken for a treatise on the art of courtly intrigue, he writes: “I shall reveal to you a secret gleaned from my extensive experience in the halls of power. Public officials, especially those under the watchful eye of the public, are loath to purchase Bitcoin when it is trending or at its peak. The reason is simple—none wish to face the ignominy of a market downturn or, worse yet, a tarnished reputation in the public eye.”

He continues, painting a vivid picture of the political landscape: “Can you imagine the headlines that would plague our esteemed President if he were to purchase Bitcoin at $100,000, only to see it plummet to $70,000? On the other hand, should Bitcoin dip to more favorable levels, the incentives for politicians and sovereigns to buy will increase. It is always a wise move for the executive branch, which must win the favor of the electorate, to wait for Bitcoin to reach $60,000 and then claim the credit for a shrewd investment.”

Mr. Park emphasizes that while the Strategic Bitcoin Reserve is intended as a long-term store of value, public officials are acutely aware of the public’s short-term memory and the potential for backlash should the market take a turn for the worse. This political pressure, he argues, makes them hesitant to make high-risk moves, particularly those that might expose them to questions of accountability.

The Strategic Bitcoin Reserve, often referred to by the administration as a “digital Fort Knox,” is designed to remain untouched for the ages. White House Crypto and AI Czar David Sacks has likened it to “a 21st-century bulwark of national financial security,” a fitting description for the administration’s ambitions in the realm of cryptocurrency.

However, Mr. Park contends that certain conditions must be met for the reserve to gain genuine traction. These include “programmatic buying rather than discretionary ‘studies,’” shared decision-making to distribute accountability, and an element of permanence, whether through legislative safeguards or actions taken behind closed doors.

He also pays homage to the public pension Chief Investment Officers who have bravely incorporated Bitcoin into their portfolios: “This is at the heart of why I hold such deep RESPECT for the public pension CIOs who have invested in Bitcoin or crypto strategies. They are true patriots, committed to long-term thinking for the benefit of all, even at the risk of personal loss. Heroes, indeed.”

His praise underscores the contrast in decision-making timelines between these executives, who often have the freedom to invest for the long term, and politicians who must constantly navigate the treacherous waters of public opinion and re-election.

At the time of this writing, BTC traded at the princely sum of $82,389, a figure that would make any king envious.

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2025-03-10 10:16