Oh, the squalor of power! In the shadow of the White House, where the golden doors gleam like a thief’s smile, the Trump clan feasted on the crumbs of crypto cases, their pockets lined with the sweat of the desperate. The New York Times, that old gossipy aunt, whispers of deals so shady, even the pigeons in the park would turn their heads.
These cases, dropped like hot potatoes, were tied to political donations and business ties as tangled as a sailor’s knot. A symphony of loopholes, orchestrated by the Trump family’s crypto empire, where every note is a nickel and a prayer.
Trump’s Pay-to-Play?
The Trump Admin, that paragon of justice, dismissed 33% of Biden-era crypto cases-more than a baker’s dozen! While other industries limped along with a meager 4%, the crypto crowd danced in the spotlight, their lawyers clinking glasses of champagne and legal jargon.
Of the 14 crypto investigations rolled back, half of the defendants were as close to the administration as a shadow to a man. Whether before or after the cases, it’s all a game of musical chairs, with the Trumps holding the last seat. 🕵️♂️
Coinbase, that digital knight in shining armor, had its lawsuit tossed aside, only to later fund Fairshake, a super PAC that’s more of a super-scam. And let’s not forget Stand With Crypto, a group so pro-crypto, they’re practically breathing the stuff. 💸
In May, Binance’s SEC case was dismissed, and lo! CZ was pardoned months later. A move so corrupt, it could make a snake blush. The NYT says this happened after CZ helped Trump’s World Liberty Financial launch a stablecoin-because nothing says “friendship” like a $2 billion deal. 🤝
“And just weeks before the Binance case was dismissed,” the NYT sneers, “the firm joined a $2 billion transaction using World Liberty’s digital currency. A deal that’s set to make the Trumps richer than a pirate’s chest. 🚨”
Consensys, Cumberland, Kraken-oh, the list is as long as a politician’s promise. A pay-to-play circus where the ringmaster is always the same. 🎪
But Hester M. Peirce, that paragon of virtue, defends the rollbacks, claiming, “They shouldn’t have been filed in the first place!” As if the law is a game of chess, and the Trumps are always one move ahead. 🤔
The Trump family’s crypto empire, a gilded cage of BTC mining, DeFi lending, and memecoins, grows like a weed in a cracked sidewalk. Yet, the Democrats, those guardians of the people, raise their eyebrows like they’ve just smelled a rat. 🐀
The stablecoin law, the GENIUS Act, nearly crumbled under the weight of conflict of interest. And now, with the crypto markets structure bill, the drama continues. A soap opera for the elite, with the rest of us stuck in the audience. 🎭
Most cases were dismissed with prejudice, a legal way of saying “don’t come back.” But if Democrats regain power, will the Trumps’ crypto empire face a reckoning? Or will the system, that old beast, continue to feed on the weak? 🧠
Final Thoughts
- According to the NYT, the Trump family benefited from dismissed crypto cases. A tale as old as time, with a digital twist. 🕵️♂️
- However, Commissioner Peirce believes the cases didn’t have a legal basis in the first place. Oh, how noble. 🤡
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2025-12-15 07:52