Trump’s Crypto Rollercoaster: 1.4 Billion Bucks & Larry David’s Thoughts

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So, you hear about World Liberty, huh? It’s like that cousin who shows up to the family reunion with a brand new Porsche, and everyone thinks, “Do we need this?” Suddenly, this guy tips the whole family an additional $1.4 billion since late 2024. And you guessed it-Donald’s real estate empire? That’s a mere sad, dent‑in‑the‑hat story compared to this, folks.

Wrap your head around this-if you had a pet hamster that collected coins in a jar, it would probably out‑earn the entire Trump real‑estate game in less time. Who would you blame? Dean and Danny…

Quick spoilers

  • WLFI just straight‑up handed out $1.4 billion to the Trump and Witkoff clans since November 2024.
  • The majority of those tokens wash into Trump’s kitty.
  • Then there’s American Bitcoin: boom, then crash. Classic #Fail.

According to the folks at WSJ, they squeezed a neat $1.2 billion into Trump’s pocket over roughly 16 months. Imagine a giant event planner with a giant paycheck. While their crypto unrealized gains are still sitting on the table, about $2.25 billion. The Witkoffs? Managed to pull in $200 million in the same time period. Who does that? Oh, right, Kylie and I did.

WLFI’s snapshot says that a whopping 75% of token sales funnel into a Trump‑controlled entity. Then you get two small slices-12.5% each-toward the Witkoffs and two co‑founders, Zak Folkman and Chase Herro. President Trump owns 70% of that entity, the other 30% in his family’s hands. Kind of like a pizza: he’s got the last slice.

One of the biggest moves was a January 2025 deal where creditors from Abu Dhabi snatched 49% of World Liberty for $500 million. That cash arrived in a staggeringly swift stream-$187 million landed in Trump’s entities and $31 million in the Witkoff snapshot before 2025’s inauguration. Picture it: a small investment summit with the Presidential announcement in the back office.

Then there’s the Alt5 Sigma affair-this Nasdaq‑listed company whose CEO has a sock puppet deal with WLFI. Alt5 manages to raise $750 million and then spends most of it on buying WLFI tokens at a premium from the very same company. Suddenly, half a trillion dollars flows to Trump, $90 million to the Witkoffs, Alt5’s stocks tumble, a classic case of “We laid a hoarding plan and forgot the safety net.”

Satellite case: Eric Trump also owns a noteworthy stake in American Bitcoin. That venture had a boom, then a “Who ordered the dessert for the crowd?” moment right after listing. Whole team at the White House; basically “Yes, we’re honest, we’re independent”-said the newspaper with a wink.

So there you have it-crypto, billions, a handful of family members, and a dash of Larry David humor to make it all a little less serious. You ready to sit back, grin, and watch the next headline appear?

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2026-02-10 01:36