In a week that could only be described as a masterclass in chaos, cryptocurrency firms found themselves in the crosshairs of President Trump’s tariff tantrum. The market, ever the fickle mistress, responded with a dramatic swoon, sending share prices tumbling and IPO dreams crashing faster than a Bitcoin miner’s GPU. 🚀💥
From exchanges to Bitcoin miners, the crypto world suffered a collective hangover, proving that even the industry’s cozy relationship with the Commander-in-Chief couldn’t save it from the fallout. 🍻
On April 2, Trump, in a move that surprised precisely no one, announced tariffs of at least 10% on practically all imports into the United States. He also threw in some “reciprocal” tariffs for good measure, because why not? The result? A market meltdown that left traders clutching their pearls and the S&P 500 and Nasdaq down by roughly 10%. 📉
Coinbase, once a darling of the Trump camp, wasn’t spared. Its stock price dropped by a staggering 12%, proving that loyalty in politics is as fleeting as a meme coin’s pump. Bitcoin miners, too, took a beating, with the CoinShares Crypto Miners ETF (WGMI) losing 13% of its value. Even Strategy, the golden child of 2024, saw its share price fall by 6%. 📉📉📉
JPMorgan, ever the harbinger of doom, raised its estimated odds of a global economic recession in 2025 to 60%. “Disruptive U.S. policies have been recognized as the biggest risk to the global outlook all year,” the bank reportedly said, in a statement that could double as a fortune cookie. 🥠
The IPO market, too, felt the sting. Stablecoin issuer Circle has reportedly paused its 2025 IPO plans, joining the likes of fintech Klarna and ticketing service StubHub in the “waiting anxiously” club. 🎟️
But amidst the carnage, Bitcoin stood tall, its spot price holding above $82,000 even as the rest of the market crumbled. Some analysts say it’s finally “decoupling” from the broader market, a phrase that sounds suspiciously like a euphemism for “I told you so.” 🚀
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2025-04-05 01:39