U.S. Treasury Finally Realizes Tornado Cash Isn’t a Weather App

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In a move that surprised absolutely no one who’s been paying attention to the cryptocurrency circus, the U.S. Treasury Department has decided to un-sanction Tornado Cash, the Ethereum-based mixer that’s been accused of laundering more money than a laundromat in a spy movie. 🌀💸

Back in August 2022, the Treasury’s Office of Foreign Assets Control (OFAC) slapped sanctions on Tornado Cash, claiming it was the go-to tool for North Korean hackers and other nefarious characters to clean their dirty crypto. Because, you know, nothing says “international crime” like a digital tornado. 🌪️

The crypto industry, never one to miss an opportunity to rally behind something controversial, immediately jumped to Tornado Cash’s defense. Coinbase, the U.S. exchange that’s basically the Walmart of crypto, even funded a lawsuit against the Treasury. Because nothing says “fighting the man” like a billion-dollar company suing the government. 🛒⚖️

Fast forward to late 2024, and the 5th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals ruled against the Treasury, because apparently, even the courts think the government needs to chill out. A Texas-based federal court also sided with Tornado Cash users in January, proving once again that everything is bigger in Texas, including legal drama. 🤠⚖️

In its latest statement, the Treasury tried to save face by saying it’s still “concerned” about state-sponsored hacking and money laundering. Because, of course, they are. Meanwhile, Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent awkwardly pivoted to talking about the “enormous” opportunities digital assets present for the American people. Because nothing says “opportunity” like a mixer that’s been accused of laundering billions. 🤑

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2025-03-21 18:11