In the grand, rain-dampened theatre that is British regulation, the Financial Conduct Authority—never known for a light hand—has trained its gimlet eye upon the crypto masses. The new proscription? Banishing the idea that one might purchase Bitcoin or its legion of digital cousins on borrowed pounds, shillings, or the modern spectre of “e-money.” For those whose investment strategies resemble a roulette wheel, it shall henceforth be cash only, darling.
Sweeping rules, they say, as if wielding a broom at the tide. Friday, May 2: a grim day for anyone with both a boundless faith in blockchain and the nerve to fund it from a credit line. The FCA, determined that nobody in Woking loses their shirt without at least a moment of stodgy reflection, has dropped an edict—no crypto on the tick, no matter how bullish your group chat.
The banned list balloons: credit cards, e-money, that fiver Gran lent you for “emergencies”—all forsworn at the altar of consumer protection. Retail investors are also to be spirited away from the wicked temptations of high-risk crypto lending platforms, lest a new generation discover the delights of insolvency the hard way. Whatever happened to good, clean gambling at the races? 🎲
The FCA isn’t leaving platforms unscathed, either. Crypto firms hoping to court the sterling market need to hoist a legal flag upon British soil and submit to the regulatory tea parties hosted therein. Transparent pricing is demanded, with platform assets and users’ own precious digital trinkets to be kept as separate as the House of Lords from common sense.
Another morsel for the bureaucratic maw: outlawing the mysterious art of “payment for order flow.” The FCA, perhaps having read too many Dickens novels, worries brokers may send orders down dark alleys, into the arms of market-makers with altogether too much “interest” in proceedings. Call it what it is: the City’s answer to the three-card monte.
UK is ‘open for business’: FCA director
David Geale, the FCA’s executive director of payments and digital finance, emerged from the regulatory fog to insist, with the stoicism of a man whose favorite pub just closed early, that this isn’t the death knell for crypto in Albion. Investor protections are the order of the day—not, he assures us with a knowing wink, a crackdown on innovation. 😏
“Crypto is an area of potential growth for the UK but it has to be done right. To do that we have to provide an appropriate level of protection,” pronounced Mr. Geale, possibly while checking his Oyster card.
With the dreamy tone of a man comparing apples to somewhat shinier, riskier apples, Geale noted that other speculative indulgences offer even flimsier protection than crypto. Still, he says, Britain is casting wide its doors—hoping, doubtless, that the right sort of crypto trader arrives, top hat neatly squared. 🚪
“I would in some ways compare this to any other high-risk investments, which if anything often have less protections . . . We are open for business”
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2025-05-02 15:59