Unraveling the Government’s Secret Bitcoin Stash: You Won’t Believe the Numbers!

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In the grand tapestry of American governance, the U.S. government has woven itself into the fabric of Bitcoin (BTC) ownership, clutching billions of dollars in digital assets like a miser hoarding gold coins. Through the artful dance of seizures and forfeitures, they have amassed a treasure trove that has recently caught the public’s eye, especially with the latest ramblings from none other than Donald Trump.

So, let’s dive into the murky waters of how much BTC the government holds and what they plan to do with it. Spoiler alert: it’s not for buying ice cream! 🍦

Donald Trump Signs The Executive Order For Strategic Bitcoin Reserve

In a twist that could only be scripted in the annals of political drama, Trump has taken the plunge and signed an Executive Order to create a Strategic Bitcoin Reserve. According to the ever-enthusiastic David Sacks, the newly minted AI and Crypto Czar, this reserve will be filled with tokens pilfered from the pockets of criminals and civil asset forfeitures. Talk about a Robin Hood move, right? 🏴‍☠️

Just moments ago, President Trump put pen to paper, establishing a Strategic Bitcoin Reserve. This treasure will be funded by Bitcoin seized from the nefarious, meaning taxpayers can rest easy—no wallets will be emptied here!

So, fear not, dear taxpayers! Your hard-earned dollars won’t be funding this Crypto Reserve. Sacks has grand visions of a “digital Fort Knox,” ensuring that the U.S. holds enough of this “digital gold” to strut its stuff in the crypto economy. After all, who wouldn’t want to flaunt their shiny new toys? 💰

This newfound urgency comes on the heels of Elon Musk’s eyebrow-raising questions about Fort Knox’s gold reserves, shining a spotlight on the need for transparency. Because, you know, nothing says “trust me” like a secretive vault! 🤔

Key Highlights From the Executive Order:

In a recent post on X, Sacks spilled the beans on some juicy tidbits from Trump’s Executive Order. Here’s what you need to know:

  1. The U.S. government will not sell BTC stored in the reserve. (So, no fire sales here!)
  2. An audit for the federal asset holding is now in order. (Finally, some accountability!)
  3. The Secretaries of Treasury and Commerce will explore budget-neutral strategies to ensure taxpayers do not suffer. (Because who wants to be the villain?)
  4. A U.S. Digital Asset Stockpile, filled with non-Bitcoin digital assets (thanks to forfeitures), has also been created. (More toys for the government!)
  5. The government will not acquire additional assets for the Stockpile beyond those obtained through forfeiture proceedings. (No sneaky acquisitions here!)

How Much Bitcoin Does the U.S. Government Hold?

Now, let’s get to the juicy part: how much Bitcoin is the U.S. government actually sitting on? They’ve been playing the role of the crypto police, seizing millions from the bad guys. But the exact number of BTC holdings is as slippery as a greased pig, with estimates ranging from 86,000 to a whopping 200,000 tokens. 🐖

In the Executive Order announcement, Sacks claimed the government holds nearly 200,000 BTC, and an audit is on the way to confirm the details. Meanwhile, crypto analyst Conor Grogan estimates they have 198,109 tokens, which translates to nearly $18 billion at current prices. Not too shabby, eh?

By my estimation, the US Govt owns 198.109k BTC. This executive order removes ~$18B of sell-side pressure.

But wait! Another analyst, Alex Thorn, threw a wrench in the works, claiming the U.S. government has a maximum of 86,000 tokens (43% of holdings) for repurpose. Apparently, the authorities recovered

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2025-03-07 11:52