Oy vey! 🤦♂️ Interactive Brokers, those meshugge Wall Street types, are at it again! They’ve just thrown three more crypto tokens into their already overflowing digital soup. As if we didn’t have enough ways to lose money! 💸
Listen, bubbeleh, they’ve added something called Chainlink (sounds like a fancy prison bracelet), Avalanche (because regular financial avalanches weren’t exciting enough), and Sui (which I’m pretty sure is what my grandmother called her chicken soup). These join the existing cryptocurrency mishpocheh of Bitcoin, Ethereum, and that cute little dog coin that my nephew won’t shut up about. 🐕
Now you can trade everything but the kitchen sink in one place – stocks, options, futures, and these newfangled digital tokens. It’s like a financial smorgasbord! What’s next, trading my mother’s famous brisket recipe as an NFT? 🍖
Steve Sanders (no relation to Colonel Sanders, I checked) from Interactive Brokers says people want more crypto. Well, people also wanted disco, but that doesn’t mean it was a good idea! And some guy named Woodford from Zero Hash (which sounds like what happened to my retirement portfolio) is kvelling about their partnership. 🕺
The prices? Oy! LINK is down to $11.13, AVAX dropped to $16.40, and SUI is sitting at $1.97. Such bargains! Such deals! My uncle Murray lost more than that at his weekly poker game! 📉
But hey, who am I to judge? If you want to trade these digital thingamajigs alongside your boring old stocks, now you can! Just remember what my mother always said: “If everyone jumped off the Brooklyn Bridge…” Well, you know the rest! 🌉
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2025-04-08 22:16