Wall Street Whales, Bitcoin Surfing & Quantum Panic: The Morning Crypto Soap Opera đŸłđŸ€–

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What to know (before you spill your morning quantum coffee):

  • Saphira’s Jeff Dyment maintains, in tones of enthusiastic defiance, that institutional bitcoin demand remains as strong as the odour of an unopened gym bag—despite those pesky short-term slowdowns. ETF and corporate buying, he claims, is experiencing what economists might call a “cyclical wave,” and what dolphins might call, “Tuesday.”
  • Corporate BTC treasuries have apparently been on a bulking regimen: they grew by 375% year-over-year in H1 2025, benching almost 4% of total Bitcoin supply. Meanwhile, U.S. spot ETFs hoarded 1.25 million BTC in the past 18 months, roughly 6% of the total supply, which, if nothing else, suggests someone’s wallet is dangerously overweight.
  • QCP Capital reports whales are gobbling up call options like there’s no tomorrow (or, at least, no morning after). These leviathans appear convinced the party is just getting started, even as the dance floor looks positively deserted.

Good Morning, Asia. Here’s what’s making news in the markets:

Fund manager Jeff Dyment, of Saphira Group fame, desperately wants you to squint at the horizon, ignore the wobbly candlesticks, and not freak out over small patches of economic climate change on your trading app. The bigger picture, he insists, reads more like a mural by Dali: confusing, slightly unnerving, yet—if you stare long enough—strangely reassuring.

According to Dyment, any data point suggesting bitcoin’s institutional popularity is fading is simply “missing the big picture”—by which he means, the giant swimming pool of rich people still prepping their floaties.

Yes, ETF and corporate purchases have cooled lately. Michael Saylor’s Strategy—best known for buying bitcoins as if they’re on clearance two-for-one—only scarfed down 16,000 BTC last month. This might sound unimpressive until you realise in December he bought 171,000 coins, apparently after confusing “Bitcoin accumulation” for an Olympic sport.

Dyment, however, says this is not what disaster tastes like. Instead, he fondly calls this fluctuation “a cyclical wave,” which is much less terrifying than “crypto tsunamis” or “whale stampede.”

He writes: “Institutional flows come in waves—just like your Wi-Fi signal. Short-term market wobbles? Ripples. Over-arching momentum? Think rising tide, possibly with a hungry kraken lurking.”

If your idea of fun is comparing statistics, here’s a fun (and slightly terrifying) one: In H1 2025 alone, 51 new corporations started squirrelling away bitcoin, matching the entire intake from 2018 to 2022. That’s a 375% year-over-year jump—enough to make even the most conservative CFO consider adopting an emotional support blockchain.

Public companies now possess 848,902 BTC, or roughly 4% of what Satoshi left us, with 131,000 added in Q2 2025 alone. Isn’t hoarding fun?

Performance art continues in ETF land. BlackRock’s IBIT fund is now the world’s largest, holding a preposterous 699,000 BTC (3.3% of everything ever mined) and earning bragging rights as history’s fastest-growing ETF. Presumably, someone will sew this fact onto a commemorative throw pillow.

The U.S. spot ETFs, ever the competitive siblings, just collectively nabbed 1.25 million BTC (that’s 6% of total supply since launch) as if the coins are PokĂ©mon and regulatory approval is Ash Ketchum’s hat.

Meanwhile, the options market is playing Wagner in the background.

QCP Capital recently noted that whales are “positioning for upside” with September $130K BTC calls and holding $115K/$140K spreads, which in non-finance speak means: “They’re betting on an epic finale and brought popcorn.”

“Vols remain near historical lows,” QCP intones, which is code for, “It’s eerily quiet. Like the pause before your AI toaster demands voting rights.” Should $110K break, volatility may “return”—possibly by kicking the doors in and shouting, “Surprise!”

Bears are waving charts and shouting about empty mempools—like fortune tellers squinting at tea leaves and predicting mild disappointment. Dyment dismisses these frothy surface ripples with the ease of a hitchhiker dodging Vogons. Underneath it all, he says, the “tide is rising,” and Wall Street is hungry for crypto… Just not in a neat, linear queue (it’s more like a conga line in zero gravity).

BTQ Pushes Quantum-Safe Framework for Stablecoins

And now, the moment your digital wallet’s tinfoil lining has been dreading! BTQ Technologies has unleashed the Quantum Stablecoin Settlement Network (QSSN), a framework so forward-thinking it practically arrives before you do. It’s aimed at ensuring stablecoins won’t become mathematically obsolete the moment quantum computers go shopping for lunch money.

QSSN promises to let banks, payment firms, and digital asset platforms make their stablecoins quantum-resistant, using “dual cryptographic signatures” (ECDSA and Falcon-512). This means your future stablecoin might wear two padlocks and a fake moustache, just in case quantum codebreakers are lurking in the server room.

The stablecoin market, now a cool $225 billion, is more paranoid than ever—regulators are hovering, lawmakers are scribbling, and somewhere in Congress, the GENIUS Act is slouching toward regulation (and perhaps, caffeine).

BTQ, having hung about with NIST for over a decade, now seeks to shape stablecoin standards and make QSSN the lifeblood of quantum-safe banking. If you suddenly find your coins reminiscing about the good old days of classical mechanics, you’ll know who to thank.

Market Movements

BTC: Bitcoin treated the $107,519.64 support level like a fainting couch, first swooning 1.02% lower, then executing a V-shaped recovery with the dramatic flair of someone realising they’ve dropped their phone in the bath. On-chain, supporters clustered fiercely around $106,738 and $98,566, presumably sending digital tea and sympathy.

ETH: Ether (ETH) played the “volatile darling” card, rising 1.67% after ricocheting nearly 3% between $2,529 and $2,604, like a squirrel let loose in a coin counting machine. Institutional inflows topped $1.1 billion. High volume suggested the party was both loud and slightly confused.

Gold: Gold, sensitive as ever, dipped on a strong dollar but then cheered up thanks to tariff-fuelled safe-haven demand. Central banks are shopping till they drop, while analysts keep whispering about a rally towards $4,000, which would make even Scrooge McDuck blink.

S&P 500: The S&P 500 did its best impression of a moody teenager—falling 0.79% to 6,229.98 after Trump introduced shiny new tariffs on seven countries. And yes, the number of trading partners offended is now high enough to field a football team (with substitutes).

Nikkei 225: The Nikkei 225, undeterred by American protectionism, tiptoed up 0.36%. Japan, South Korea, Indonesia, and Thailand all woke up to new duties of up to 40%, but took it with the sort of composure usually reserved for sushi chefs and sumo wrestlers at tax season.

Elsewhere in Crypto

  • Trump Is Making Bank on Crypto: Do Voters Care? (Decrypt) – Spoiler: Some just want their stimulus checks, thanks.
  • Vitalik Buterin Favors ‘Copyleft’ (Vitalik Buterin) – All your code are belong to us.
  • The Coming Crypto Tax Bomb (CoinDesk) – Not to be confused with the gentle, soothing trickle of previous tax seasons.

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2025-07-08 05:03