Walmart OnePay Goes Crypto: Bitcoin, Bucks, and Buzz 😂💸

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So there I am, minding my own business and scrolling like a responsible grown-up, when the news erupts: Walmart’s OnePay-yes, the fintech darling that somehow owns my loyalty points and my patience-plans to flirt with the crypto world. Trading and custody on the mobile app, because nothing says romance like a glossy screen full of Bitcoin.

According to CNBC, OnePay will offer access to Bitcoin and Ether later this year in cahoots with Zerohash. The OnePay app, which already handles the usual banking stuff and those tirelessly accepted Walmart cards, will soon let you manage cryptocurrencies without needing to switch apps or consult a seer about your portfolio. 🪙

In practical terms, you’ll be able to make transactions, track performance, and get real-time updates-yes, all from the same polished little screen you use to pay for avocado toast. Expect these features to roll out over the coming months. 💹

Walmart’s move to cater to both retail and institutions has the crypto crowd whispering about a future where your loyalty points and your ledger live in one sprawling digital ecosystem. Retailers might chase more integrated digital payments, and banks could be forced to rethink how they handle digital assets to stay in the game. It’s the kind of cross-pollination that makes spreadsheets feel thrilling. 💳

All of this aligns with Walmart’s broader fantasy of becoming a full-service financial center. Earlier this year, Walmart and Amazon reportedly flirted with USD-pegged stablecoins. Sources suggest there were internal discussions about how a Walmart stablecoin-or an Amazon one-could slash transaction fees and speed up settlements. If nothing else, it’s a very 21st-century way to say: we’re in the money business, darling. 🚀

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2025-10-03 18:20