Watch Out! A Sneaky Tax Might Turn US into a Capital Comedy!

A giant dollar bill towering over a tiny flag

Oh, what a tangled web we weave! Deutsche Bank is warning that Uncle Sam’s shiny new “One Big Beautiful Bill” might just kick off a capital war—imagine a battle where dollars fly like chickens in a farmyard! 🐔💸

They’ve dubbed Section 899 the “revenge tax,” because nothing says “Thank you for investment” like a little bit of payback! This sneaky section could make U.S. assets so unappealing that even Uncle Sam’s favorite chicken might cross the road to escape it.

The grand plan is to tinker with the taxes, cut spending, and parade around Trump’s “America First” fiesta — but hold onto your hats, folks! 🎩 The analysts are whispering that this could turn the trade war to a capital war—like a family feud, but with more money and fewer pie fights.

Says George “Big-Dollar” Saravelos, the wise man from Deutsche Bank,

“We think this bill might just be the magic potion Uncle Sam needs to transform a trade spat into a full-blown dollar duel — especially now that courts have told Trump he can’t play trade games all willy-nilly…”

“If Trump can’t trade, he might just start taxing foreign bucks—like a grumpy farmer collecting rent from his noisy neighbors.”

Saravelos also chuckles that this tax trick is like using a hammer to swat a fly—meant to boost American priorities but, in truth, might just irritate everyone enough to scare away investors. 💼😱

Meanwhile, Elias Haddad from Brown Brothers Harriman warns—

“Oh dear! If Uncle Sam raises taxes on foreign folks, it might just scare away the dollars coming in, pinching the very capital we need to feed our giant debt! Looks like a bad game of Monopoly, but with billions instead of hotels!”

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2025-06-02 20:03