Ah, El Salvador! Land of beaches, volcanoes, and now-bitcoin epics worthy of the grandest Gogolian satire. Just as the fourth anniversary of their very serious Bitcoin legal tender law dawned, the nation gallantly scooped up a humble 21 BTC. Not because it needed it-oh no-but to wink slyly at the 21 million cap all cryptocurrency fanatics so religiously worship. 🎩
Just a “Little” Symbolic Bitcoin Buying Spree
Yes, on the 7th of September, amid much pomp and virtual confetti, President Nayib Bukele announced that the kingdom now hoards a princely 6,313 BTC-over $700 million snug in their digital vaults. This, dear reader, is not just accounting; this is poetry! The Bitcoin Office, always eager to bask in its own glory, paraded achievements on X, a platform where truth and rumor tango endlessly.
And what else? The introduction of CUBO+, a program supposedly churning out advancements in Bitcoin and that most mystical creature, the Lightning Network. One imagines wizards and alchemists tinkering away, conjuring financial magic! Meanwhile, “80,000 public servants certified in Bitcoin literacy” march boldly forward, ready to face the blockchain apocalypse armed with knowledge-and perhaps an abacus. 📚✨
Moreover, there’s a shiny new banking law. A marvel permitting banks to cozy up with digital currency and entertain the “sophisticated” investors, who probably wear monocles and sip tea while talking satoshis.
A Tango With the IMF: Dance of the Restrained Yen
But wait! Not all is fireworks and infinite Bitcoins. Enter the IMF, the stern parental figure waving a $1.4 billion loan agreement like a timeout card. The grand Bitcoin acquisition must now be “voluntary,” and the government-run Chivo wallet? Put quietly in the corner.
Thus, through the hallowed halls of Congress, the Bitcoin Law was gently amended-as one might add a dash of salt to grandma’s soup, but with less joy. The IMF smiled kindly, gave the loan the thumbs up in February 2025, and tossed $120 million onto the table. The report from July 2025 was as thrilling as a clerk’s annual review: no new BTC purchases since the deal. Fiscal discipline, compliance, and the usual bureaucratic jazz.
Yet, in a tale fit for any melodrama, the Bitcoin Office slyly kept buying “one BTC a day”-because who can resist a daily dose of crypto in the morning tea? President Bukele, in a fit of bravado, tweeted “No, it’s not stopping,” as if staking a claim in the digital wild west, guns blazing-or in this case, wallets bulging. 🤠💰
Aside from that, education marches on, laws get passed, and somewhere in El Salvador, a nervous accountant wonders if this is a revolution or just a very expensive hobby.
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2025-09-08 22:04