Why Michael Saylor’s 60th Birthday Is the Most Bitcoin-y of Them All!

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Well, ladies and gentlemen—hold onto your hats, your wallets, and, if possible, your sanity—because today, on the cosmic calendar that is February 4, the one and only Michael Saylor of MicroStrategy fame has officially reached the ripe old age of sixty! 🎂🎉 Yes, that’s right! Sixty! The age when one starts pondering if they should buy a sports car or invest all their cash in digital gold—rather like investing in the flying pig market of the late 90s.

Four whole years ago, in a decision that qualified him for a place in the annals of Quirky Business Moves, Saylor decided to shake things up like a Polaroid picture and radically transform MicroStrategy’s strategy to be more Bitcoin-focused. After all, why manage a company when you can be a full-time crypto evangelist? So, he gallantly demoted himself from CEO to the role of executive chairman—because one mustn’t let the day-to-day silly business of running a company get in the way of one’s pursuit of Bitcoin bliss.

The Birth of a Bitcoin-Believing Billionaire

Saylor, who popped into existence in the impossibly far-away year of 1965 in the bustling metropolis known as Lincoln, Nebraska, had a rather auspicious start. Graduating from the esteemed Massachusetts Institute of Technology (yes, the very place where brain cells go to multiply faster than rabbits), he pulled the lever of fate in 1989 and co-founded MicroStrategy. He magically elevated to the company’s grand poobah—CEO, don’t you know—while secretly delighting in the whimsical world of aeronautics and astronautics. One can only imagine Elon Musk raising an appreciative eyebrow to this news whilst tweeting from one of his billion-dollar rockets.

Happy birthday @saylor !

— Nikola 🔸⚡️ (@n_grbovic) February 4, 2025

Now, in the late ‘90s, MicroStrategy hit the jackpot faster than a squirrel on a power line during a thunderstorm, soaring to dizzying heights during the dotcom bubble. Saylor’s newfound billionaire status was like finding a dollar in your old coat pocket—unexpected, thrilling, and fleetingly delightful. But alas, like all great parties, the dotcom bubble burst with a little less grace than a falling anvil, resulting in a rather tumultuous financial hangover and a real-life episode of “Where Did All the Money Go?” Crowning this dark era, Saylor lamented perhaps with a dramatic flair, describing it as the darkest day of his life, complete with a rainstorm and ominous music, no doubt.

From Dotcom Downfall to Bitcoin Bonanza

But fear not! For in the grand cosmic game of business whack-a-mole, Saylor showed up again in August of 2020, armed with corporate cash reserves and an unyielding thirst for Bitcoin. Out came the treasure chest to buy some digital coins like one would eagerly purchase donuts at a midnight bakery. Not quite a frenzy at first, these Bitcoin purchases morphed into an all-out cash splash with corporate debt sold as the magic wand to fund further Bitcoin escapades. Who needs a budget when you have senior convertible notes? Just make sure the notes don’t try to convert you into an accountant—yikes!

Fast forward to today: MicroStrategy valiantly holds 471,107 Bitcoins worth a staggering $46,982,964,048. For those mathematically challenged, that’s a lot of zeroes—enough to make a good accountant swoon! And if that weren’t enough, Forbes states that Saylor’s personal stash includes 17,732 Bitcoins, curiously valued at $1,766,553,159, which is a number that makes your typical wallet spin in disbelief. In 2025, Saylor’s net worth is an impressive $8.8 billion—though with Bitcoin’s perpetual rollercoaster nature, fasten your seatbelts, folks!

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2025-02-04 15:52