Worldcoin Ordered to Erase Biometric Data: Kenya’s Judge Goes Full “Delete!” Mode

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  • Kenya court orders Worldcoin to delete all biometric data
  • Worldcoin faces widespread global backlash over data collection

In a move that surprised absolutely no one except, perhaps, intergalactic time travelers and those who still use fax machines, Kenya’s High Court instructed the Worldcoin Foundation to obliterate every speck of biometric data collected from local users. This data includes facial images and iris scans, presumably so detailed that even Zaphod Beeblebrox would feel a tad uneasy.

Consent by Cryptocurrency: Not the Guide to the Galaxy

Worldcoin, in what can only be described as a bold attempt to create a real-life Hitchhiker’s Guide, offered cryptocurrency in exchange for glaring into their gloriously glowing iris-scanning orbs. The court, channeling the timeless spirit of Marvin the Paranoid Android, called this method ‘unethical,’ and gave them a barely adequate seven-day deadline to delete all data—because, as everyone knows, seven days is exactly how long it takes for toast to become interstellar dust.

The legal case was propelled by the Katiba Institute and ICJ Kenya, who apparently saw that someone was trying to trade people’s eyeballs (well, their scans) for digital coins and thought, “You know, this probably deserves a court date, and maybe a stern look or two.” Worldcoin was also lightly smacked for completely flubbing their mandatory paperwork under the Data Protection Act of 2019. Forms! Always the forms.

Not satisfied with just wagging a finger, the court also announced that Worldcoin must stop harvesting and processing further data, unless they complete the kind of evaluation that would make even Deep Thought ponder its own existence. Just to be sure, every previously hoarded byte also faced immediate deletion, this time with government supervision. No towels required.

Worldcoin: Hitchhiking Toward Global Suspensions 🚀

You might think nobody would be so risk-averse outside Kenya, but you’d be wrong! The Indonesian Ministry of Communications and Digital Technology decided to hitch a ride on the ban-wagon, suspending Worldcoin operations so thoroughly that even Ford Prefect would struggle to get directions. By May 2025, Indonesia had not only blocked the orbs, but suspended their World ID service too, because mysterious digital shenanigans are universal—like the answer 42.

The dominoes kept falling, as South Korea banned operations and demanded a tidy $800,000 fine, while Brazil raised an eyebrow and pondered if swapping secrets for crypto was a new low in planetary negotiation tactics. Around the world, authorities piled on, each one slightly less amused than the last time they were offered a digital coin in exchange for something private. What a time to be extremely cautious about one’s eyeballs.

Despite earnest arm waving with regulators (and perhaps a Babel fish in the ear to translate “please don’t ban us”), Worldcoin’s dreams of a universal digital identity keep hitting privacy potholes, tripping up on accountability and transparency standards just as they’re about to order their second pan-galactic gargle blaster.

So, as the world sort of gears up to protect humans from themselves and their highly creative ways of being bamboozled, Worldcoin is left grappling with the simple truth: in this galaxy, there are only three certainties—death, taxes, and global outrage whenever someone tries to swap crypto for your irises. Don’t Panic. 🪐

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2025-05-07 02:37