Oh, honey, grab your popcorn 🍿 and crypto charts 📈 because Jake Clover, the CEO of Digital Ascension Group (aka Mr. XRP Enthusiast), just dropped a hot take that’s spicier than a jalapeño margarita 🌶️🍹. In his latest video (September 3rd, mark your calendars 📆), he’s basically telling all the doomscrollers waiting for XRP to crash 90% again to *pipe down*. “I’d love it too,” he sighs, like a man who’s seen too many Reddit threads, “but it’s not happening.” Ouch, sorry not sorry, bears 🐻.
Apparently, the market already had its “buy low” happy hour 🍸 when XRP was chilling at 50 cents, and nobody showed up. “Three years to buy at 50 cents? Y’all slept on it,” Clover claps back. “It ain’t coming back.” Mic drop 🎤. He’s betting on a *structural glow-up* for XRP, thanks to spot ETFs (Bloomberg’s James Seyffart is 95% sure the SEC will approve in 2025, so cross your fingers 🤞) and fancy algorithms that keep the demand flowing like a bottomless brunch 🥂.
“TWAP, VWAP, blah blah blah,” Clover explains, waving his hands like he’s conducting an orchestra 🎼. “These big boys are slicing orders like a sushi chef 🍣, keeping XRP from face-planting.” He’s also got charts that show XRP holding its ground against Bitcoin, like a crypto yoga master in downward dog 🧘♂️. “It’s up from here,” he predicts, especially if Bitcoin keeps mooning 🚀.
But wait, there’s more! Clover’s got a whole slide deck of reasons why XRP might hit $100, $200, or even $500 (yes, you read that right 💰). “Future you won’t care if you bought at $2.30 or $2.40,” he quips. “You’ll be too busy buying a yacht 🛥️.” His advice? Dollar-cost averaging, because trying to time the market is like trying to herd cats 🐱-impossible and mildly infuriating.
Oh, and risk management? Non-negotiable. “Don’t sell your kidney for XRP,” he warns. “Small, regular buys from your fun money fund 🎉-that’s the vibe.” So, stop waiting for the 90% crash ghost 👻 to show up. It’s dead, buried, and probably wearing a ‘Crypto Winter 2018’ hoodie 🧥.
At press time, XRP was chilling at $2.87. Not bad for a coin that’s allegedly “never crashing again.” 🤑
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2025-09-06 02:21