If you’ve ever wondered why your neighbor’s cat seems to have a better sense of timing in the stock market than you do, meet Hyperliquid’s “Money Printers”-a group of traders who’ve turned XRP into their personal ATM. According to CoinGlass, these folks are laughing all the way to the bank, raking in over $1 million in profits. Who needs a 9-to-5 when you can just short-sell everything but XRP and still come out ahead?
Their portfolio is a masterclass in crypto chaos: $1.292 billion in short positions (because who wants to bet on the market?) versus $857 million in longs. But here’s the kicker-when it comes to XRP, they’re all in. Longs hit $15.31 million, shorts only $13.4 million. Maybe they just enjoy the thrill of watching XRP flirt with doom while betting on its survival.
Is XRP this April’s safe haven?
If you’re worried about XRP blowing up in your face this month, don’t be. The liquidation risk is a laughable 0.01%. For context, the poor MET token is sweating bullets at 10.38%. Meanwhile, Bitcoin and Ethereum are still brooding in their bearish corners, hoarding $708 million in short positions like it’s a survival skill. If this isn’t Wall Street’s version of a love triangle, I don’t know what is.
XRP Eyes $0.62 Bottom Support per Bollinger Bands, 300 Million Dogecoin ‘Disappearance’ Alarms Korean Traders, Historical Trends Suggest Q2 Bitcoin Rally: Morning Crypto Report
1 Billion XRP Unlocked From Ripple Escrow Accounts
In this circus, XRP is the ringmaster. Hyperliquid’s “smart money” crowd isn’t just betting-they’re clutching their seats as Ripple recently unlocked a billion XRP (worth $1.37 billion, because why not?). 80% of that will go back into escrow, which is either a masterstroke of trust or a very expensive way to say, “We’re not trying to crash the market.”
Regulators, meanwhile, have thrown their weight behind XRP by declaring it a “digital commodity.” Because nothing says “safe investment” like getting a bureaucratic stamp of approval. And if you think that’s the end of the story, prepare for April’s anticipated breakout above $1.50-a level that might as well be Mount Everest for a coin that once traded at $3.
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2026-04-01 19:17