Welcome to the US Crypto News Morning Briefing-your essential rundown of the most important developments in crypto for the day ahead.
Now, grab your fancy overpriced coffee because we’re diving into the love story no one saw coming: Wall Street and Ethereum (ETH). Yes, folks, we’re talking about the Bitcoin fan club raising its collective eyebrows so high they might just take flight. 🚀 Institutional interest in Ethereum has been as loud as my Aunt Margie’s pet parrot on a sugar high, and it’s raising the alarm bells-like an angry vegan at a barbecue.
Crypto News of the Day: Ethereum Is Reuniting Money and State, But At Everyone’s Peril 😱
Apparently, Wall Street’s newfound crush on Ethereum has Bitcoin maximalists like Max Keiser sounding the alarm bells like a clown at a children’s party. 🎪 As the big players stash away ETH like it’s the last cookie in the jar, some crypto veterans are having an existential crisis, worried that Ethereum is about to don a suit and tie-it’s a programmable instrument of financial control! Because, why not? Multiply your religious associations towards fiat by 10 and sprinkle on some bureaucratic seasoning!
In a recent episode of “As the Crypto Turns,” Fundstrat’s Tom Lee announced his plan to acquire a whopping 5% of the total ETH supply through BitMine, which sounds wildly ambitious unless you’re playing Monopoly. 🏦
Appreciate this @cosmo_jiang!
Pantera has been a great partner @PanteraCapital!
Bitmine $BMNR is committed to rapidly growing ETH value,
and guess what? They want to hoard 5% of ETH. Talk about ambition!– Thomas (Tom) Lee (not the drummer) FSInsight.com (@fundstrat) July 24, 2025
While BitMine is reportedly outpacing Michael Saylor’s Bitcoin strategy faster than you can say “overhyped,” they claim to have the largest ETH treasury. Just wait till their press release comes with a side of gold-plated headlines! 💰
According to Bankless, a podcast you’ve probably never heard of unless you’ve replaced all your friends with robots, Wall Street-yes, the very same people who brought us those delightful bank fees-is allegedly backing BitMine. However, Max Keiser, Senior Bitcoin Advisor to El Salvador (which is now apparently a thing), is not exactly tickled pink. 🤨
“Bitcoin’s primary use case is separating money from state. No other fiat money or crypto does that,” Keiser told BeInCrypto-because who doesn’t want to sound like a medieval scholar at a crypto conference?
Keiser’s rant continues, suggesting that BTC and other crypto treasury companies are involved in a tango that undoes every principle of liberation crypto enthusiasts hold dear. Meanwhile, Ethereum seems to be doing the electric slide right back to traditional hierarchies-on-chain! 🎶
And while Ethereum supporters are seeing rainbows and butterflies, praising ETH for its programmability and its newfound connection to compliance (because regulations are the new cool), Keiser’s criticisms unveil a deeper philosophical rift-like a Netflix drama we never asked for. Bitcoiners are clinging to their decentralized self-sovereignty, while keeping a wary eye on Ethereum’s blossoming romance with institutional investors. 😬
Byte-Sized Alpha 🍔
Crypto Equities Pre-Market Overview 📊
| Company | At the Close of August 7 | Pre-Market Overview |
| Strategy (MSTR) | $402.01 | $400.60 (-0.35%) |
| Coinbase Global (COIN) | $310.79 | $313.55 (+0.89%) |
| Galaxy Digital Holdings (GLXY) | $28.09 | $28.40 (+1.10%) |
| MARA Holdings (MARA) | $15.95 | $16.02 (+0.44%) |
| Riot Platforms (RIOT) | $11.58 | $11.63 (+0.43%) |
| Core Scientific (CORZ) | $14.35 | $14.49 (+0.95%) |
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2025-08-08 18:28