You Won’t Believe What Eric Trump Said About Banks at TOKEN2049 Dubai 🤯💸

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In the shimmering dust of Dubai, among the polished façades—glitter that conceals as much as it reveals—a certain Eric Trump, bearing the family name as both shield and standard, rose before the assembled faithful of TOKEN2049. “Two billion dollars,” he declared, as if merely indicating this month’s golf score, “shall cross continents from Abu Dhabi’s mysterious MGX into Binance, borne on the ambitious wings of $USD1—the ‘stablecoin’ that would have Dostoevsky weeping with laughter and accountants weeping with… well, just weeping.”

This was no ordinary “important announcement.” Imagine Rasputin at a blockchain convention, or a bear wandering into a sauna—one is never quite sure if enlightenment or calamity will follow. On the second day, when people still pretend to understand the panels, Trump, breathless with possibility, announced $USD1’s upcoming integration with Tron. “It will be the world’s most transparent and regulated stablecoin,” he promised, like an engineer cheerily guaranteeing the structural honesty of the Gulag’s newest barracks. The crypto enthusiasts nodded gravely, as if the ghosts of empires past weren’t shifting uneasily in their seats.

The news broke, conveniently, in the company of Justin Sun—the man whose hair has survived more forks than Ethereum—and Zach Witkoff of WLF, whose optimism is surpassed only by that of the Soviet census takers. And looming over it all, the spectral presence of March’s Binance statement, where CEO Richard Teng had announced MGX’s $2 billion, exuding the confidence of a commissar about to announce tractor production stats that only slightly diverged from reality.

MGX, in solemn prose that would make Pravda proud, pronounced the goal: to “carry forward the power of blockchain technology into digital finance.” History may not repeat, but it certainly stutters, and always with a slogan.

🔥🇦🇪 DAY2 TOKEN 2049 DUBAI: @EricTrump slams SWIFT. 👇

“International transfers via SWIFT are slow, expensive & complicated. Crypto eliminates the need for banks.”

Big statement on stage from the Trump camp.

— The Crypto Times (@CryptoTimes_io) May 1, 2025

Not content to restrict his observations to arcane financial architectures, Trump gazed directly at the crumbling edifice of banking. “Middlemen,” he scoffed, “will render themselves obsolete.” The crowd cheered. Rats, after all, cheer when the ship tilts away from them—even if they remain on board. Crypto, he insisted, made the machine run faster. Ivan Denisovich himself would have admired such efficiency… provided he wasn’t trampled underfoot in the stampede for the next meme coin.

“Suppose you are a U.S. citizen and you want to send money to Abu Dhabi. You need to know the conversion rate of US dollar and the currency over here. How much are the issuer and receiver banks going to charge and how slow is this procedure that is actually supposed to be swift? So what crypto does here is that it kind of makes the whole process redundant,” said Trump.

And so, beneath the chandeliers and PowerPoints, another vision was born. The old world, heavy with ledgers and rumors, yields to a new arithmetic—until, inevitably, the next ice wind blows. At least this time, the prisoners might be able to pay their way out via QR code. 🚀😏

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2025-05-01 13:27