You Won’t Believe Who’s Cashing In on Pakistan’s Crypto Craze!

If there’s one thing history has taught us, it’s that whenever there’s peace in the offing, someone’s probably making a profit out of it. Enter Pakistan, stage left, clutching a shiny new “crypto deal” with World Liberty Financial (WLF), a Defi firm with about as many Trumps as a Mar-a-Lago golf tournament. And surprise! This happened just days after some particularly theatrical peace talks with India. Coincidence? The universe winks.

Meanwhile, at the Crypto Council, the Plot Thickens…

The birth of the Pakistan Crypto Council (PCC) was so recent that it’s probably still downloading its terms of reference. Yet, in the blink of an eye, they’ve inked deals with WLF to “boost investment and innovation”—which, in practice, is financial jargon for someone somewhere making a gleeful noise while hacking together a blockchain project called GoatCoin or something.

Arriving in a swirl of buzzwords was Zachary Witkoff, whose CV reads like a mashup between “My Dad Went to Washington” and “How I Spent My Crypto Summer Vacation.” He’s the son of Steve Witkoff, Trump’s pal, special envoy, and the kind of New York real estate billionaire your mother warned you about at dinner. The deals have been set up at breakneck speed—blink once, and you’ll miss at least two signed MOUs and a high-level handshake. 🖐️

“The WLF has signed a landmark Letter of Intent with the PCC to accelerate blockchain innovation, stablecoin adoption, and decentralised finance integration across Pakistan,” the finance ministry announced, possibly while trying not to giggle.

Not to be outdone, the WLF delegation didn’t just stop at polite chit-chat. Oh no—they met the Prime Minister, the Army Chief, Defence Ministers, and anyone else who’d sit still for long enough to have their photo taken. Meanwhile, on the Mar-a-Lago side of this Cross-Continental Conga, there’s Eric Trump, Donald Trump Jr., and Jared Kushner, whose collective business connections could probably power a small city if converted to electricity—and may in fact already do so if their hair is any indication. 🕺

PCC’s ambitious mandate? To turn Islamabad into South Asia’s Vegas for crypto, with a little boost from Binance founder Changpeng Zhao (CZ). Because nothing says “steady hand on the tiller” like throwing a crypto pioneer into the mix. 🏴‍☠️

Pakistan isn’t exactly a crypto virg—er, novice—either. Chainalysis puts it at #9 in the world as of 2024, boasting 25 million active users and $300 billion in annual transactions. With WLF and Binance’s CZ, Pakistan is betting its digital future and hoping it’ll be more “moon landing” than “let’s never speak of this again.” General conclusion: bring popcorn, and maybe an offline wallet. 🍿

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2025-05-15 13:22