You Won’t Believe Who’s Dining With Trump for Meme Coin Glory 🍽️

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The pageantry of American life—unfurled! At last, the guest list for the illustrious Donald Trump meme coin dinner stands finished, their names—a mystery as dense as the fog over a Russian autumn field—spurring both consternation and ill-disguised laughter among the citizenry. The 220 bravest (or simply the richest) holders of the enigmatic TRUMP meme coin are to see their devotion rewarded on the 22nd of May, where, over a meal as heavy as state secrets, they shall break bread with none other than President Donald Trump himself. 🎩

Of Wallets and Whispers: Is This a Soirée or a Spy Thriller?

With the fevered accumulation ending at the stroke of May 12, fortune settled its weighty hand upon the 220 wallets perched atop the Trump meme coin leaderboard. Their prize—a golden ticket to a crypto masquerade beneath the chandeliers of Washington. Still, the dinner’s intrigue doubles as no list came forth of the guests’ real faces (for what, pray, is more sovereign these days than digital anonymity?). An air of delighted suspicion drapes the drawing rooms and basements alike.

“Congratulations, if you’re in the top 220 on the leaderboard. We will be contacting you in the next 24 hours,” declared the oracle—er, the announcement, that is.

The identities remained, naturally, shrouded. Yet, like a peasant peering through estate hedges, one glimpses silhouettes—rumors of fortunes and folly commingling under cover of blockchain.

Take, for instance, the specter of Justin Sun, alleged founder of Tron, who sits atop the pile with a sum so exact it must, by cosmic law, slide off a marble table: 1,432,003.302 TRUMP—leaving little room for subtlety. Gossip whirled hotly about his attendance; now, the whispers have boiled into confirmation, like overdone borscht. 🍲

Far from alone, a Singaporean crypto concern named MemeCore (no doubt as serious as its name implies) secured the second seat. “Yes, it’s us,” they broadcast from their digital tower, as if eager to RSVP to destiny. An emissary will attend—if only to ensure no vodka is left unsampled.

Kain Warwick, of Australia, rounded out the guesthouse. Participants coughed up an average of $1.5 million per chair—which, to the common man’s dismay, does not even include valet parking. The moment the roster solidified, the value of the Trump token plummeted, as attendees shed their holdings faster than a Russian nobleman at the first sign of winter. ✨

An International Banquet, or “The Great American Sell-off”?

And so, the thunder rolled: chins wagged at the overabundance of overseas names. The numbers do not lie—18 of 25 top holders, not sons or daughters of American soil, but rather enterprising foreigners. Chief among them, our familiar friend Justin Sun, who, according to legend, updates his passport as frequently as his crypto portfolio. The telltale mark? Binance, favored by those not bound by the iron curtain of US regulation.

The 25 highest bidders shall enjoy an exclusive audience with President Trump—private VIP whispers, perhaps a tour of the White House, or at the very least, a strong handshake and a guest bathroom selfie. None can resist snickering at the idea of foreign dignitaries parsing state secrets over entrees, all while America looks on through the kitchen door. 📸

Meanwhile, learned men—a certain Norman Eisen, paraded as an “ethics expert”—have called the affair a moral labyrinth. Still others wag fingers, muttering about “market manipulation,” as if the meme coin’s creators were merely following the playbook left in every post-Soviet dacha: issue, dump, vanish. The only surprise, perhaps, is that anyone is surprised at all. 🤷‍♂️

 

 

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2025-05-14 06:32