You Won’t Believe Who’s Hoarding Billions in ETH (Hint: It’s Not Just Robots!)

If you think your piggy bank is impressive, wait till you meet the Strategic Ethereum Reserve! This ever-growing mountain of ETH, stashed away by public companies, mysterious treasuries, DAOs with more acronyms than you can shake a stick at, foundations, and a few well-heeled cats, has now plonked itself just over the $10 billion mark. Quite a bit more than what granny carries around in her purse, eh?

Only four months ago, this reserve amounted to a rather modest $200 million—barely enough to buy a small country’s worth of comic books! Then, whoosh, up it shot like a rocket-fueled goose, growing 50 times in size. The stuffy old boardrooms of the world? Turns out they’re all whispering feverishly about Ethereum. It’s become the new darling, the belle of the strategic ball. 💃

Why Are These Suit-and-Tie Folks Buying ETH By the Bucketload? 🪣

According to the eggheads at the Strategic ETH Reserve website, something funny happened between April and July. Somewhere between lunch breaks and long meetings, public companies started tripping over each other to hoard Ethereum. The Reserve leapt—by more than $7 billion—in barely a month. Forget rabbits; this growth makes rabbits look positively slow-paced.

Let’s shine a light on the biggest ETH-hoarding culprits: BitMine Immersion Technologies is leading with a stash of 625,000 ETH—about $2.35 billion of “don’t touch that, it’s ours!” They’re basically aiming to own 5% of all ETH. Modest dreams, really. Meanwhile, SharpLink sidles in, clutching around 438,200 ETH in their sweaty palms, with $400 million in paper profits. Not that anyone’s jealous, of course. 🤑

But wait! Enter The Ether Machine, strutting onto the scene during Ethereum’s 10th birthday bash, to become the bronze medalist in this ETH race. Thanks to a business combo between The Ether Reserve and Dynamix Corporation—they’ve now gobbled up 334,757 ETH. If you listen closely, you can hear them giggling quietly in the boardroom.

Other businesses aren’t in the mood to be left out. BTCS Inc., a tech outfit weaving blockchain infrastructure, recently asked the US SEC for permission to collect, oh, just $2 billion more for their own ETH shopping spree.

According to Vugar Usi Zade of Bitget (surely a man who’s learned the value of patience), companies like SharpLink, Bitmine, and BTCS are stacking up Ethereum so fast, they’ll soon need bigger wallets. And apparently, every time the ETH price creeps up, a new institution suddenly “discovers” it, like explorers in a jungle, but with less danger and more spreadsheets.

“Institutional bigwigs are peering over their glasses at ETH and thinking: ‘Hmm, you’re more than just Bitcoin’s younger sibling!’ Ethereum’s programmability, price, and lovely habit of making you money while you nap (thanks staking!) means everyone with a suit now wants some in their portfolio,” Usi Zade confided to BeInCrypto.

The party’s open to all. Just this week, 180 Life Sciences (catchy name!) announced plans to raise $425 million, rebrand as ETHZilla (no, really), and pile that money right into Ethereum. A few more rounds of fundraising and they’ll own enough ETH to fill a small whale. 🦑

Meanwhile, even game developers have caught the bug. StarHeroes (presumably eager to level-up) kicked off their own ETH reserve with a whopping 410 coins. Every little helps, say the wise sages.

“This isn’t just collecting ETH to show off at parties,” says team StarHeroes. “It’s meant to supercharge the $STAR token, sprinkle rewards across our community, and keep the ecosystem humming. Plus, who doesn’t like a shiny new reserve?”

Not to be left out of the ETH love-fest, Silvina Moschini of Unicoin told BeInCrypto that Ethereum is primed to be as common on company balance sheets as coffee stains and accountant tears. It’s the digital dinosaur egg every company wants to incubate.

“Big institutions want three things: no funny business, no queue-jumping, and rock-solid reliability. Ethereum, with its strong chin and neat tie, delivers all of that thanks to its boss-level security and uptime stats,” she explained—probably while polishing her own ETH coin collection.

Prediction time: Some experts reckon public firms may soon gobble up 10% of all ETH. If so, get ready for corporations bragging about their blockchain treasures at dinner parties. After all, nothing says “business prowess” like flashing your ETH stack. 🥳

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2025-07-31 09:22