You Won’t Believe Why Bitcoin Is Racing Toward $95K, Bank Insider Reveals!

Observe, dear reader, as Gadi Chait, that weary gladiator in the colosseum of modern finance, paces the Xapo Bank corridors—his gaze as heavy as an unpaid debt. “Ah!” he exclaims to Fortune (or perhaps to himself, in some dim-lit Dostoevskian cellar), “this impetuous rally, do you not see? Investors, those poor wretches who once vowed never again to chase digital phantoms, now clutch their wallets with trembling hands and unsay their oaths. They are, it appears, ready—no, desperate—to spend again, as if redemption could be purchased by the satoshi!”

And to what, my inquisitive friend, does our modern-day Chait attribute this feverish bullishness, this mass psychosis masquerading as financial strategy? Institutional money avalanches into ETFs, crashing against wallets with all the subtlety of a Dostoevsky protagonist’s midlife epiphany. Aggressive bullish options whirl about like so many wounded philosophies, leaving no doubt that even the most cautious souls have tossed their calculators into the Neva River and placed their bets on hope itself. 📈

In this fever-dream of market optimism, all these forces coalesce, propping up Bitcoin as if it were Dostoevsky’s own Raskolnikov, tormented yet aching for transcendence. Could the fabled $100,000 be broken soon? Who can say? In St. Petersburg, one can lose everything by noon and regain it at midnight—often with far fewer emojis. 😏💰

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2025-04-30 12:15