Picture it, darlings: a single, breathless minute in which Ripple’s debonair Counsel, Stuart Alderoty, appears on video and—with the suave assurance of a gentleman who’s just found the last bottle of champagne at a dry wedding—declares the Securities and Exchange Commission has abruptly taken up the white flag, retreated to the regulatory drawing room, and left the cryptographic soiree.
“Not only has the SEC dropped their little tiff with Ripple,” Alderoty declares, one eyebrow presumably arched in Wildean glee, “but every single case against every plucky crypto operation in the land has vanished in a puff of very costly legal smoke.” 🚬✨
‘Pray, Do Tell Us What the Law Is!’
Alderoty, gazing out from somewhere between ennui and exasperation, notes what every digital dandy has whispered for years: you cannot be ticketed for the waltz if no one’s written the steps. “One can hardly be held accountable for crossing lines,” he says, “when the lines are, in fact, invisible ink.” 🎩
The U.S., it would appear, has had laws on crypto as robust as a cucumber sandwich at a cocktail party—frankly, more bread than substance.
In the latest episode of ‘Crypto In One Minute’, Ripple’s breezy legal chap @s_alderoty delivers the news that, in March 2025, the SEC—after three long years of high drama—slunk away from its appeal with all the fanfare of a damp sponge. Stateside, smart crypto regulation is evidently looming; one hopes it dresses for the occasion.
🔒 Protecting consumers
🟢…— Ripple (@Ripple) May 2, 2025
Through all this regulatory slapstick, Ripple insisted the SEC was improvising by enforcement—like a theatre critic writing the play as he heckles.
The curtain first rose on this saga in December 2020, featuring the eternal question: “Is XRP a security, or just an especially shiny token?” Critics and the entire financial peanut gallery watched, popcorn in hand.
Now, as the legal dust settles and the ushers begin to sweep up, Alderoty looks to the future—one with elegant regulations and, one hopes, far fewer court dates. “We’re clearing up the shambles,” he trilled, “leaving the courtroom for the boardroom, and aiming to run our business rather than star in a Kafka adaptation.”
Congress is being courted for a spot of legislative tea, with promises of a regulatory recipe that’s half safety, half innovation, all shaken (not stirred) for market integrity. Bad actors are strictly off the guest list. 🍸
Recall, in 2023, Ripple pulled off a theatrical coup: institutional sales were deemed as legal as a bow tie at cocktails, though retail exchange sales took a faint slap on the wrist. A cool $125 million was kept in escrow for penalties—as if anticipating a sizable bar tab—but CEO Brad Garlinghouse (part impresario, part escape artist) promised to reclaim it.
“This entire episode,” Garlinghouse confided to Fox Business, “shows the old regime at the SEC had the legal instincts of a sleeping spaniel. To the new chair, Paul Atkins, and new White House tenants: bravo for a sensible interval.”
The timing is as slick as a West End first night. Ripple, with a flourish, has swallowed Hidden Road for a cheeky $1.25 billion—some acquisition, some after-party.
Suffice to say, the SEC has new headliners. With the agency’s sudden crypto retreat, it concedes: the old approach was more farce than strategy, and Paul Atkins (said to have more blockchain than blockhead) seems intent on rewriting the act.
If questions linger, just follow the money—Ripple, ever the party guest, made sure President Trump’s bash had both dollars and five million XRP tokens for confetti at the 2025 inauguration. Because, as any Noël Coward devotee knows, one simply mustn’t attend a gala empty-handed.
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2025-05-03 21:08