🌕 Moonvember Dreams Crushed? Bitcoin’s Sideways Shuffle Has Us Like 😑

Well, well, well. Looks like November’s not the knight in shining armor Bitcoin was hoping for. 🦸‍♂️✨ Crypto analysts are waving their hands like, “Sorry, not sorry,” as they predict a sideways stroll instead of the usual November fireworks. 🎆→🚶‍♂️

According to the geniuses at Bitfinex, the macro backdrop is basically a soap opera right now-easing policy, mixed Fed signals, and Jerome Powell whispering sweet nothings about uncertainty. 🕵️‍♂️💬 “Consolidation is the new black,” they say, because apparently, stability is the only thing left to cling to before volatility decides to throw another party. 🎉

Speaking of Powell, he’s basically the weather forecast no one asked for, hinting that another rate cut in December is as likely as me resisting a second slice of cake. 🍰🙅‍♀️

Fed Rate Cut Odds: 67.9% – Basically a Coin Toss, But Less Exciting

Remember when the odds were 90%+? Good times. Now, the market’s like, “Eh, maybe, maybe not.” 🤷‍♀️ According to the CME FedWatch Tool, there’s a 67.9% chance of a cut on Dec. 10. Crypto investors are sweating like they just got a tax audit. 💦

Rate cuts usually mean crypto goes brrrrr, but now? Any pause or reversal has the market acting like it saw a ghost. 👻

Crypto Market Drama Unfolds

Bitfinex analysts are side-eyeing Bitcoin optimists, saying they’re starting to look like they’ve been stood up on a date. 💔 If BTC doesn’t bounce back above $116k, they might just ghost the party. “Time’s ticking, bulls,” they warn, while long-term holders are selling like it’s Black Friday. 🛍️

“Unless the price recovers decisively above this range, time becomes a growing headwind for bulls.” – Basically, Bitcoin’s on the clock. ⏳

At the time of writing, Bitcoin’s chilling at $103k, down 3% in 24 hours. Yawn. 😴

But hey, not everyone’s doomscrolling. Some analysts are still team “November’s got this,” because historically, it’s Bitcoin’s month to shine. ✨ Since 2013, November’s averaged a 41.78% gain. So, maybe it’s just fashionably late? ⌛

November: Bitcoin’s Favorite Month, or So History Says

Crypto trader Dave Weisberger’s like, “Chill, the fundamentals are strong.” 🏋️‍♂️ And Carl Runefelt’s over here tweeting, “November’s turning green, baby!” 🌱 AshCrypto’s still bullish, because why not? 🤪

But let’s not forget: Bitcoin hit $125k in October, then face-planted after the Oct. 10 crash wiped out $19 billion. Ouch. 😵‍💫 Since then, it’s been more sideways than a game of Snake. 🐍

So, Moonvember or Mehovember? Only time will tell. Until then, grab your popcorn and enjoy the crypto circus. 🍿🎪

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2025-11-12 03:57