Ah, the tragic ballet of Bitcoin’s price, pirouetting downward like a prima donna with a sprained ankle! Yet, in this fiscal opera, Michael Saylor’s Strategy pirouettes center stage, collecting 7,000 BTC with the zeal of a magpie hoarding trinkets. 💸
Inflows into Bitcoin ETFs? A mere $240 million this September! BlackRock, ever the financial alchemists, conjured $260 million from their crypto cauldron in two years. One might call it a *boon*-if one ignores the existential dread of market volatility. 🧙♂️
As U.S. legislators nap through crypto debates-recesses, thy name is Congress!-five states dared to dabble in crypto law. Wisconsin, ever the pioneer, proposed taxing Bitcoin miners like they’re mythical beasts. 🏛️✨
Stablecoins, those paragons of stability (snort), swelled past $295 billion. Truly, a marvel! 🎈
Here’s September, served with a side of irony:
Strategy stacks 7,378 BTC worth over $837 million
Strategy, that paragon of corporate whimsy, splurged $837.5 million on 7,378 BTC. At $113,520 per Bitcoin, one wonders if they’ve confused investing with interior decorating. 🖼️
Slowing down? Why, August’s 7,714 BTC was but a *whisper* compared to July’s 31,466 BTC. Restraint, darling, is so passé. 🐌
Saylor, the prophet of price stagnation, claims Bitcoin’s “growing stage” is as thrilling as watching paint dry. Institutions, he insists, adore boredom. 🥱
Stablecoins cross $295 billion
The stablecoin market, that eternal phoenix, rose $5 billion in a week. Regulators, ever the comedians, debate tokenized assets while Europe frets over “multi-entity” stablecoins. Italy’s Bank? Dramatic as a Shakespearean ghost. 🎭
241,700 crypto millionaires now on the loose
Henley & Partners reports 241,700 crypto millionaires-up 40%! Centimillionaires? 450 strong. Billionaires? 36. Clearly, the revolution will be monetized. 🚀
Crypto bills move ahead in five US states
Wisconsin’s lawmakers, Republicans all, propose taxing crypto miners like they’re hosting a dragon. Critics? Concerned about water usage. 🌊
Seven EU member states oppose Chat Control
The EU’s Chat Control farce continues. Denmark, the bard of surveillance, resurrects the plot. WhatsApp, Signal? Merely pawns in a game of regulatory chess. ♟️
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2025-09-30 17:17