Oh, the drama! The crypto world is like a soap opera, but with more zeros and ones. 🤑 Donald Trump, the self-proclaimed “Crypto Messiah,” vs. Joe Biden, the “Crypto Grinch”-who’s the real MVP for Bitcoin? Let’s dive into this circus of numbers and nonsense! 🤡
Sure, Trump talks a big game, but does he walk the walk? And Biden, well, he’s like that uncle who doesn’t get memes but somehow ends up winning the lottery. 🍀 When you strip away the political theater (and there’s a lot of it), the numbers tell a spicier story than a Mel Brooks movie. 🌶️
Bitcoin’s Rollercoaster: Hold Onto Your Satoshis! 🚀
In 2024, Trump promised to make the U.S. the “crypto capital of the world.” 🌎 He even said, “End Joe Biden’s war on crypto and we will ensure that the future of crypto and the future of Bitcoin will be made in America.”
🇺🇸 Sounds great, right? Wrong. Fast forward to 2025, and Bitcoin is down 5%. 😱 That’s like promising a five-course meal and serving a single pickle. 🥒
The most “pro-crypto” presidency ever.
Every major token down since inauguration. $BTC 💸
Meanwhile, under Biden’s first year, Bitcoin soared 65%. 🌕 Sure, it stumbled in 2022, but then it rebounded like a champ, jumping 155% in 2023 and 120.7% in 2024. 🏆 Here’s the scorecard:
| Year | Bitcoin return (%) |
| 2021 | 65% |
| 2022 | 64.2% |
| 2023 | 155% |
| 2024 | 120.7% |
| 2025 (As of December 26) | -5% |
One analyst called Trump’s first term “the greatest crypto bull run” ever, with the market cap growing 115x. 🚀 But Biden’s term? A solid 4.5x return. So, who’s the real crypto hero? 🦸♂️
Trump’s Crypto Circus 🎪
In 2025, Bitcoin hit $109,000 before Trump’s inauguration. 🎉 The SEC even created a task force for crypto regulation. But then Trump announced tariffs on the EU, and the market tanked faster than a sinking ship. 🚢 A brief pause in tariffs led to a modest recovery, but the damage was done. Volatility? More like a rollercoaster on steroids. 🎢
CRYPTO MARKETS SOAR ON 90-DAY TRUMP TARIFF PAUSE 🤑
Adoption grew, with states and institutions jumping on the Bitcoin bandwagon. 🚂 Digital asset treasuries became the hot new trend, thanks to MicroStrategy’s playbook. But then Trump announced 100% tariffs on China, wiping out $19 billion in leveraged positions. 😭
🚨 BIGGEST WIPEOUT SINCE LUNA, COVID & FTX.
Nearly $20 BILLION in crypto liquidations in 24 hours. Leverage was maxed out… and it showed. 💥
Bitcoin dropped 17.67% in November and hasn’t recovered since. Ouch. 😣
ETFs and Altcoins: The Regulatory Rollercoaster 🎡
Biden’s SEC was initially crypto-skeptic, but a court ruling forced them to approve Bitcoin ETFs in 2024. 🏛️ Ethereum ETFs followed in July. After Gary Gensler left, altcoin ETFs flooded the market. SOL, XRP, DOGE-you name it, it got an ETF. 🚀
Canary Capital’s XRP ETF debuted with $58.6 million in volume, while Bitwise’s Solana ETF raked in $56 million. But despite the hype, ETF inflows slowed in 2025. 🤔 Seems like the market was just shuffling chairs on the Titanic.
The Trump Family Crypto Empire 🏰
Trump didn’t just talk crypto-he lived it. He launched a meme coin, Melania followed suit, and his sons started American Bitcoin Corp. 💼 According to Reuters, they made $800 million in crypto profits in 2025. 🤑
But not everyone’s cheering. Critics say it’s a conflict of interest, and the Trump meme coin (WLFI) tanked, leaving supporters in the red. 🔴
$BTC is down 24% since ‘The Crypto President’ took office.
Meanwhile, the Trump family made nearly $1B in crypto profits. Are they in it for the right reasons? 🤔
The Verdict: Who’s the Crypto King? 👑
Trump brought friendly regulations and faster ETF approvals, but Bitcoin’s biggest gains were under Biden. 🏆 Trump’s first year back in office? Volatility central. 🎢 So, who helped crypto more? It depends on whether you care about promises or performance. 🧐
As Mel Brooks would say, “It’s good to be the king… unless you’re holding bags.”
👑👜
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2025-12-27 03:48