It was on a dreary morning—for what other mornings are there in this labyrinthine existence?—that Sei Labs, those enigmatic sorcerers of electric ledgers, proclaimed their intent to simplify the blockchain. Nay, not with pastry, nor with charity for lost souls, but with the executioner’s axe aimed squarely at Cosmos transactions and the melancholy CosmWasm contracts. 💀🔪 EVM, that fabled machine, was to become their idol; all other protocols, mere pretenders cast out like beggars from a Petersburg alley.
The new gospel: Sei Improvement Proposal-3, second of its name, not unlike a Dostoevskian son torn between fathers and unattainable ideals. If the clergy of governance nod in solemn agreement, Sei would become an EVM-only chain. Cosmos accounts, once hopeful participants, now reduced to a ghostly memory, whispered only in taverns by those nostalgic for complicated user flows.
“As EVM usage continues to dominate activity on Sei, this proposal reflects a clear path forward: a streamlined, EVM-first architecture designed to scale the next generation of DeFi, gaming, and real-world applications.”
—Jay Jog, co-founder of Sei Labs, who has made peace with his soul (or at least with his wallet)
So shall it be: only EVM addresses, those lucky survivors, will roam the streets of Sei, sending their arcane transactions as easily as a Raskolnikov tossing his rubles to the wind—full of hope, burdened by existential dread. The fate of CosmWasm and Cosmos handling? A train to Siberia, accompanied by the sound of muted violins. Staking and governance, that cherished illusion of agency, will now dwell among EVM precompiles; how efficiently they will suffer.
According to Sei Labs—whose patience for duality has clearly run even thinner than a bureaucrat’s tea—this awkward arrangement has induced nothing but friction, leaving users and developers alike to shuffle addresses like gamblers in a feverish Dostoevskian scene. One must manage and link both EVM and native addresses—truly a tragedy exceeding even the bleakest Russian winter! Should this decree pass, infrastructure providers will be coerced (gently, with a digital knout) into switching their sacred APIs to EVM alone. Users must uproot their assets, journeying either to EVM-native wallets or effecting a bridge to Cosmos, that cold and distant land. CosmWasm developers? Pack your bags, comrades—your code must find new existential purpose.
Sei Labs claims—either with the innocence of Alyosha or the cynicism of Ivan—that this EVM-only vision will finally deliver bliss: a developer and user experience so simple, even a drunken Svidrigailov might understand. Infrastructure overhead, that weighty stone about the neck of progress, shall be cast off. Sei will stand resplendent among EVM brethren, a vision for the foolishly optimistic. Of course, as with all Russian stories, timelines remain shrouded in fog and vodka.
Meanwhile, as the crowd hungers for a sign, the token price—SEI—leapt 6%, briefly tasting the dizzying heights of $0.2, while trading volume surged 17.27%. The crowd gasped, wallets trembled, and somewhere, a developer wept softly for lost Cosmos contracts. 🤷♂️💸
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2025-05-08 11:31