You Won’t Believe How Many Bitcoin Wallets Were Born Overnight (And Who’s FOMO-ing Now)

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Well, well, well, if it isn’t Bitcoin flexing harder than a CrossFit instructor on Instagram. In just two days, Bitcoin (BTC) has packed on an extra $4,000—which, for the record, is more than your salary and my self-esteem combined. Apparently, the crypto crowd has rediscovered its wallet apps, because the latest numbers are here to trigger every ounce of FOMO you didn’t know you had. 😬💸

Bitcoin Is Hotter Than Your Ex’s Rebound

Santiment, a market intelligence platform (fancy talk for “people watching charts so you don’t have to”), reported a grand entrance of 344,620 new Bitcoin wallets. Yes, that’s roughly the entire population of Iceland deciding, “Hey, maybe I’ll become a crypto bro today.” Newbies and returnees are scrambling to snap up Bitcoin as if it’s the last pair of Yeezys—because clearly, no one’s ever lost money chasing a trend. 👟✨

The mild-mannered investors who stayed prudently on the sidelines are now elbowing their way into the market, all in the hopes of swing trading their way into yacht-owning status. To be fair, there’s nothing like a surging price to make you forget every single YouTube finance guru who warned you five minutes ago.

Honestly, it makes sense that everyone wants a slice. Bitcoin hasn’t sizzled at levels like these since January, and you know what they say: what goes up can totally just… keep going up? (Right? RIGHT?)

Quirky side note: Bitcoin still hasn’t crossed the $100K psychological level since February 2025. Apparently, this is a bigger deal to “market participants” than eating avocado toast to millennials. Some are whispering that the price will tumble faster than my patience at a department store fitting room.

But then—plot twist—Bitcoin just waltzed right past $103,800, and the bears? They’re somewhere quietly updating their LinkedIn profiles. Santiment summed it up with a mic drop:

📈 Bitcoin’s network saw 344,620 new wallets be created on its network as FOMO poured in. Crypto’s top market cap asset has silenced bears, reaching a high of $103.8K for the first time since January. 👀

— Santiment (@santimentfeed) May 9, 2025

Bears have loads to cry about: Bitcoin’s allegedly bearish outlook has been Rickrolled into oblivion. Buy the dip, they said… now the dip is your aunt forwarding you memes about “investing in dog coins.”

Everyone’s Suddenly a Bitcoin Believer (Again)

Breaking news: as of my last look at the screen, Bitcoin was exchanging hands at $103,361.05, which is a 3.54% jump in just 24 hours. Look, I can’t even get a 0.54% raise at work, so maybe you’re in the wrong industry.

Trading volume got a glow-up, too—up 34.15%, now sitting at $72.99B. That’s “mom, stop the car, I need to buy Bitcoin” kind of excitement.

But don’t get too cozy. Once the January buyers—aka the “I really thought this time was different” crew—realize they’re back to zero or slightly above, they might just dump their coins faster than a New Year’s gym membership. That could put some brakes on this rally.

Meanwhile, Changpeng Zhao (former Binance overlord, not a Marvel supervillain), is doling out the usual calm: “Don’t panic sell.” Easy for you to say, CZ—you probably have a diamond-encrusted Ledger hardware wallet.

Billy Markus, who basically invented Dogecoin as a meme and is now the crypto world’s favorite aloof uncle, could not care less about Bitcoin brushing against six figures. Wake him up if it hits “supermodel salary” territory and sets another ATH.

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2025-05-09 16:14