Crypto news

In a post that’s as theatrically dramatic as a Coward curtain call, Saylor declares, “The ₿attle ₿egins.” Truly, the wordplay alone could make a poet weep. 🎭

The so-called “trustless” systems of DeFi-oh, how they boast of freedom-are poised, with all the subtlety of a drunken bard, to challenge the mighty towers of central authority. Haha, imagine the old powers trembling at the thought of losing their throne to a code that can’t even tell a joke properly. The prophecy whispers of DeFi’s burgeoning role: payments, investments, a fresh empire rising from the ashes of Old Money. By 2028, this brave new chaos might claim a $2 trillion market-an amount that makes the old $35 billion look like a mere trifle, a lonely penny in the gutter. 💸

The moon has waxed and waned, the sun hath risen and fallen, yet XRP’s price-yea, even after Ripple’s recent triumphs-hath plunged six per cent in the span of a single day. One might cry out to the heavens: what sorrows haunt this token? What phantoms of the market conspire against it?

On the grand stage of the BNB Chain, they’ve unleashed a Reinforcement Learning model, a beast of burden trained to carry the weight of efficiency. 🦾 And lo, they’ve birthed CRT, a token standard so bold it grants legal commercial rights-a crown for the digital age! 👑

The Fed, in its infinite wisdom, has decreed a 25 bps rate cut, with QT set to conclude in December, a slow drip of liquidity returning to the parched fields of finance. Yet, the traders, those fickle creatures, are more concerned with the immediate flow: SpaceX wallets stirring once more, XRP donning its Nasdaq finery, and U.S.-China headlines whipping up a froth of volatility across all markets-crypto, of course, being the most dramatic of the lot. 🎭

Yet, the fervor is tempered by whispers of deceit, as blockchain analytics platform Bubblemaps unveils the specter of Sybil activity, a ghost that haunts the very foundations of this so-called “fair” auction. 🤡💸

Zerohash, founded in 2017, specializes in stablecoin/blockchain infrastructure-essentially enabling companies to build their own crypto casinos 🎰. If this deal closes, it’ll be Mastercard’s biggest crypto bet since they tried (and failed) to trademark “BLOCKCARD” in 2018. 🤭

At the Business Standard BFSI Insight Summit 2025 (catchy name, I know), the cool kids in the crypto sandbox were like, “India, it’s time to put on your big kid pants and regulate this mess.” 🩳 They’re not just talking about slapping some rules on cryptocurrencies; they want an INR-backed stablecoin, because apparently, the rupee needs to flex its digital muscles too. 💪🇮🇳

Ah, the Fed, that grand maestro of monetary policy, has deigned to lower interest rates by a paltry 25 bps, a gesture as generous as a miser’s alms. Quantitative tightening, too, is paused-a temporary reprieve for the crypto realm, where liquidity now flows like a river of champagne at a Gatsby soiree. 🥂

According to some sources from Axios, they’ve called in the big guns-JPMorgan Chase and Goldman Sachs-to help them “coordinate” this listing. Because, why not, right? Two of traditional finance’s biggest players are now playing in the Ethereum sandbox. It’s like a crossover episode, but with billion-dollar companies. 🏦