Bitcoin’s Plunge: A Farce of Numbers and Nerves

From the technical abyss, we observe the Bitcoin price closing below the lower boundary of the Gaussian Channel-a statistical contraption of medians and deviations. Oh, the irony! This indicator, which once strutted like a peacock during bull cycles, now lies in the dust, its feathers plucked by the merciless hands of the market. As Ted (@TedPillows) so eloquently quoth: $BTC has dropped below its weekly Gaussian Channel. To be honest, this looks really bad. Indeed, Ted, indeed. It looks as bad as a nose disappearing in a Gogol tale, never to be seen again.

Crypto Chaos: CZ’s Hilarious Defense Against Accusations of Market Mayhem!

In his live “ask-me-anything” session-because who doesn’t want to answer awkward questions in front of an audience?-CZ dismissed these accusations as “far-fetched.” I mean, really, what’s next? Blaming the weather for a bad haircut? He argued that such claims oversimplify one of the most chaotic days in crypto history. And let’s be honest, that day was like watching your favorite soap opera but with real money!

Gold and Silver Crash Harder Than Your Ex’s Promises!

While these metallic wonders are often heralded as bastions of stability during stormy economic seas, last Thursday and Friday were anything but serene. Picture this: gold, once a glorious phoenix soaring to heights of $5,600 per ounce, found itself tumbling down like a clumsy acrobat, landing back at $4,700-a dizzying 16% decline in mere hours! Silver, that cheeky cousin, decided to join the fray with a jaw-dropping 40% drop, slinking back to $73 and erasing all its glittering gains in a flash.

How Avalanche Outshined the Bear Market with a Sparkling Boom

Once the belle of the blockchain ball, AVAX’s value took a nosedive-59.0% QoQ and 65.5% YoY-leaving wallets emptier than a poet’s pocket. From a princely $30 to a humble $12.30-the descent was swift enough to make even the most stoic blush. Yet, amidst this financial fumble, the network’s usage kept climbing like a well-bred dandy, unphased by the tragic comedy of token price.

Bitcoin: Digital Gold Mirage Collapses as Gold Reigns

Himanshu Sinha, writing on X, insists that Bitcoin was meant to be digital gold, a project for de-dollarisation. But the ledger keeps score differently: gold and silver are winning the trade. Over the past year, gold is up about 55%, silver around 150%, while BTC has stood still-like a professor at a lecture on a windy day.