Les investisseurs, tout Ă leur hĂąte et Ă leurs bras musclĂ©s, accumulent Ă tour de bras. Depuis juillet, ils ont retirĂ© plus de 317 000 ETH des Ă©choppes numĂ©riques, ce qui Ă©quivaut Ă plus dâun milliard et demi de nos humble dollars. La confiance est si grande quâon dirait que tout le monde veut faire fortune avant lâarrivĂ©e du grand gĂąteau de la folie bullesque.
Bitcoinâs daily trading volume is now so high, itâs practically a waterfall of cash. And while the average price has dipped slightly to $117,000 (because nothing stays at a peak forever, even if itâs a crypto peak), the market cap? A staggering $1 trillion in realized gains. Thatâs enough to buy every loaf of bread in the U.S. and still have change for a yacht. Or a ponzi scheme.
While the crypto market does its impression of a caffeinated squirrel, PEPE has the audacity to rise 6% this week. Thatâs 35% up in a month! Meanwhile, your 401(k) is sobbing into a pillow. đ
On the twentieth of July, that most perspicacious of blockchain analytics firms, Lookonchain, reported that two newly created wallets, suspected to belong to those aforementioned whales or institutional investors, had acquired a staggering 58,268 ETH, a sum worth approximately $212 million. The assets, one presumes, were obtained from Galaxy Digital and FalconX, those paragons of financial virtue đ.
The noble beast Ethereum (ETH), that digital thoroughbred of blockchain innovation, has galloped 5.41% higher since yesterday, and a staggering 24.77% over the past seven days. One might think it had discovered the secret to perpetual motionâor perhaps simply bribed the market gods with sufficient quantities of đđš.
Our dear Strategy chairman graced us with his presence on Sunday, and lo and behold, the chart was the opening act, but the real showstopper was the caption that followed. Itâs like a magician revealing the secret to his best trickâthis phrase has been more synonymous with the Bitcoin-maxi crowd than avocado toast is with brunch-goers. đ„
âThe GENIUS Act has what Iâd like to callâjust for my own legacy sakeâa Libra clause,â Disparte quipped on the Unchained podcast. Basically, if youâre a non-bank with dreams of minting dollar-pegged tokens, youâve got to jump through hoops like a circus poodle. Spin up a standalone entity that looks more like Circle and less like a bank, clear antitrust hurdles, and face a Treasury Department committee with veto power. Because, you know, nothing says “innovation” like red tape. đȘđ
Indeed, the latest chapter in FARTCOIN’s saga unfolded with a disheartening descent; its price, once buoyed by an upward trend, plummeted to a modest $1.53, suggesting that forces beyond the usual profit-taking whims of the market’s whales might be at play. Could it be that an invisible hand, mocking our feeble attempts at forecasting, has decided to test our resolve? Only timeâand perhaps the fickle musings of derivative tradersâwill tell. đ
In a recent discourse on the social media platform X (formerly known as Twitter), Mr. Hilton fondly suggests that XRP may soon flirt with the modest sum of five dollarsâby, you guessed it, the conclusion of July. How he arrived at such a conclusion is perhaps best explained by the remarkable 77% increase over the past twenty-four days, bringing the coin perilously close to its 8-year-old record of $3.84. It is, indeed, a testament to the fickle nature of marketsâone weekâs disappointment quickly becomes yesterdayâs folly.
Enter our astute blockchain sleuth, ZachXBT. In a plot twist worthy of an epic tale, he uncovered that our hapless CoinDCX team lingered for a full 17 hours before sounding the alarm. Meanwhile, the hackers commenced their grand adventure, starting with a mere 1 Ethereum coin, scooped up from Tornado Cashâa place that makes hiding money as easy as hiding a good book from your nosy neighbor.
