Crypto news

Chainlink, that intrepid little rogue, has returned to its weekly demand zone after a steady decline from the $22-$26 band. According to CryptoPulse, this level has served as a base for previous recoveries, much like a well-tailored waistcoat in a gentleman’s wardrobe. The chart shows the coin tapping the green accumulation block once again, with initial signs of support forming on the latest weekly candles. Earlier cycles, one suspects, were merely the market’s way of saying, “Let’s pretend we’re not panicking.”

Bitcoin, that capricious siren, plunges to $84,000 not from the frailty of human hearts, but from the iron grip of mechanics, whispers Greg Cipolaro, the Hamlet of hedge funds. The engines that lifted it to the heavens in 2024-25? Now grinding to a halt, like a clockwork beast with rusted gears. The report, a dirge for the digital age, mourns the death of demand.

Some wisecrack on the social media platform X, Ali Martinez, pointed out that a heap of Bitcoin-roughly 20,000 of them-headed straight to the exchange doors. That’s a mighty river of crypto flowin’ in, like a flood of mud at a hog-killin’. Santiment, that clever little data watchdog, reports the inflow as a sort of “goodbye, my friends,” indicating investors might be lookin’ to sell off a few coins-maybe to buy a new boat or a shiny new hat.

Instead of debating block size or layer-2 solutions, we’re stuck in a soap opera about whether Zcash is a harmless rival or a distraction worse than a TikTok algorithm. 📱

Enter our dear analyst, Ali Martinez, who’s been staring into his blockchain tea leaves and swearing on the idea that Ethereum is headed for a quaint little holiday at around two grand. Now, these on-chain mumbo jumbo, called MVRV Pricing Bands – quite the mouthful – are basically fancy tools telling us when ETH is a good buy, a fair price, or just plain overvalued. It’s as if the coin is saying, “Hey, I’m undervalued now – buy me, before I go even cheaper!”

Behold, the XRP, that enigmatic phoenix of the crypto realm, has ascended by a modest 7% since yesterday’s twilight. Yet, in the grand tapestry of the week, it has plummeted by 10.44%, a fall as graceful as a drunkard descending a staircase. 🥴

Ripple Is Quietly Building a JP Morgan Rival 🏦

The weekly tally? A paltry 46,597,909 SHIB, while the daily burn drowses at 1.3 million-a drop so minuscule, one might think the tokens are napping! 😴 The supply now stands at 589,246,313,129,194, a number so long it makes my quill weep. From a quadrillion, they say? Ah, but what is a quadrillion to a man with no wallet? 💸

This insightful dispatch comes courtesy of Theminermag, the premier publication for those brave souls who still believe mining is a sport-and perhaps a quaint hobby-amidst the chaos of institutional dabbling and ever-volatile digital gold.

Now, don’t you just love a good contrast? A bloodbath in the market, but lo and behold-green ETF columns, like little rays of sunshine poking through the gloom. This spectacle arrived precisely as the weekly BTC chart reached that magical zone traders have been tracking ever so diligently since the first quarter of the year. Bitcoin has made a valiant 32% retreat from its once lofty $129,000 peak, landing itself somewhere between $86,000 and $80,600. It’s almost like watching a drama unfold-who needs Netflix when you have this, right?