Crypto news

The cryptocurrency sector is embarking on a new adventure, draped in the fineries of clearer regulations and a broader cast of players. Who would have thought?

Imagine, if you will, the grandees of wealth, with their $8 trillion in AUM, deigning to allocate a paltry 2% to Bitcoin. Why, it’s enough to make one blush! Phong Le, the sage of Strategy (Nasdaq: MSTR), proclaims this would unleash $160 billion-a sum so absurd, it could triple the scale of IBIT. “Monster Bitcoin,” he quips, as if the very heavens might tremble at such folly.

Qubic, that paragon of audacity, has once again demonstrated its penchant for scaling up. In a prior endeavor, it ascended from a mere 2% of Monero’s hash rate to a dominant 51% in a single year, a feat that drew the attention of crypto’s elite. The media, ever eager to chronicle the exploits of the eccentric, heralded this triumph. One might say Qubic has mastered the art of turning small victories into grand spectacles, all while sipping on a cup of existential dread.

Yet, even in the midst of this global drama, the question lingers: how will the midterms shape Bitcoin’s fate? A question as perplexing as the soul of a man who has lost his purpose in a world of greed and exploitation.

Meanwhile, our friendly neighborhood whales were busy cashing in their chips right into the spike, while money flow was about as positive as a rainy Monday morning. This delightful combination has historically been the prelude to sharp reversals in low-liquidity tokens. Who doesn’t love a good plot twist?

The Algorand Foundation has decided to join the masses, shedding 25% of its less-than-200 employees because, apparently, the global macro environment is having a meltdown and the crypto world is on a downward spiral. Who knew?

This, dear reader, is the sound of miners throwing in the towel, their once-mighty rigs now humming to the tune of artificial intelligence instead of the sweet, sweet music of cryptocurrency. It seems the allure of AI’s steady paycheck is proving too tempting, even for the most hardened of hash-slingers.

In a digital scroll (X post), Ardi noted that Bitcoin’s price and open interest have diverged like two travelers on a cosmic express train with no idea where it’s going. Over six weeks, BTC climbed from $60,000 while open interest plummeted. Ardi explained this isn’t due to new buyers but because short-sellers, who had bet against Bitcoin like it was the last buffet on Earth, decided to cash in and buy a small island. “They locked profit. They exited. That exit pressure pushed the price up,” he said. Unfortunately, this isn’t the same as fresh demand, which would require something resembling hope.

The product will track the price of HYPE (net of fees) and may also incorporate staking rewards, subject to conditions. The fund intends to be listed on Nasdaq and will carry the ticker GHYP. A splendid notion, if you enjoy a good futurist forecast with a side of paperwork.

SpaceX, that most daring of modern-day Don Quixotes, hurled 29 Starlink satellites into the cosmos on March 19 via a Falcon 9 rocket, as if to say, “Behold, I’ve conquered gravity and the stock market alike!”