A whisper from Criptonocias speaks of a slow unraveling. Since March 2023, the validators have fled like pilgrims abandoning a fading shrine. The crypto community, ever the gossips, murmurs of a network teetering on the edge of collapse, or perhaps a necessary purge of the idle and the deceitful. 🧙♂️
In a letter penned with the urgency of a drowning man clutching a ledger, the AFT decried the Responsible Financial Innovation Act-a name so oxymoronic it could only be the work of a satirist. “The bill,” they declared, “fails to regulate crypto assets with the rigor of a medieval alchemist trying to turn lead into gold. Most pensions avoid crypto because it’s riskier than a tiger wearing roller skates. This legislation pretends crypto is stable? Absurd!”
Ethereum (ETH), that charming altcoin, has once again proven itself to be the life of the party. With a staggering 7% surge today, it’s leaving many to wonder if it’s part of some grand performance or just a temporary burst of energy. 🤔
The recent rebound of Bitcoin ain’t no accident, say the number-crunchers at Cryptoquant. Seems the whales, those great leviathans of the crypto sea, have decided to take a nap. Their deposits into exchanges have plunged from 88,000 on Nov. 21 to a mere 21,000 today. That’s like going from a stampede to a Sunday stroll. 🐳😴
In the latest episode of “Crypto.com is making things complicated,” the platform has decided that retail users-aka, the little guys-will have to deal with a three-second delay when placing sports bets. Meanwhile, market makers, the professional traders with the insider knowledge (and probably a few too many monitors), are free to place bets faster than you can say “What happened to my money?”
Now the big question: Can XRP hit $10? And what’s it gonna take-a miracle? A sacrifice to the crypto gods? 🧙♂️
In the grand tradition of social media bragging, Scaramucci posted a photo of himself and Saylor at the Bitcoin MENA event-because nothing screams credibility like a selfie with a guy who wants to own all Bitcoin in circulation and turn it into some digital magic 10% guaranteed return. Ah, the sweet nectar of crypto dreams, served with a side of sarcasm. 😅
This move comes hot on the heels of the UK’s decision to reverse its crypto ban earlier this year. It’s like the two countries are having a regulatory race to see who can make crypto more accessible first. Spoiler: it’s not a marathon; it’s more of a leisurely stroll. 🏃♀️💨
The scene unfolds as the hijacker, cloaked in the guise of a harmless trader, orchestrated a pump-and-dump scheme that slickly pocketed the scammers approximately $55,000 worth of virtual confetti. CZ, the venerable founder of Binance, was the first to raise the alarm, twittering (or X-ing, as it now calls itself) about the compromised profile, warning the crypto voyagers, “Web 2 social media security is not that strong. Stay safu!”-a reminder that perhaps even heroes fall when digital villains are involved. 🦸♂️🖥️
The ADA price is up 10% in the last 24 hours and is currently trading at $0.47. Founder Charles Hoskinson, that indefatigable optimist, also praised the Cardano Midnight launch, the blockchain’s zero-knowledge privacy network-a project so ambitious it might just convince the world that privacy and regulation can coexist. Or perhaps not. 🤷
