Crypto news

As per the buzz from Bloomberg-who gets paid to spill the tea-our friends at Deutsche Bank opine:

“Proposal Passed: Phala is Migrating to Ethereum L2!” proclaims a triumphant missive on Phala’s X domain from Wednesday, as if heralding a new dawn in this endless night of scalability woes. It heralds the project’s next saga, thrusting toward “greater scalability and enterprise-grade security,” where once there was only the grind of limited visions. 😂

As if summoned by the whispers of the blockchain realm, Helius Medical Technologies-now rebranded as “Solana Company”-has pledged to acquire 5% of SOL, a goal as ambitious as a philosopher’s quest for truth. 🧠✨

Officials, with the enthusiasm of a bureaucrat discovering a new spreadsheet, are pondering higher transaction limits and fancier wallet features-all in the name of “cross-border harmony” (read: making it easier for mainland tourists to buy overpriced souvenirs).

SoftBank, the tech titan with fingers in every pie, is backing this merger like a proud parent at a school play. PayPay, their brainchild, is co-owned with the Vision Fund and LY Corp (SoftBank’s lovechild with Naver). The deal closed in September 2025, but the price tag remains a state secret. 🕵️‍♂️

To waddle aboard the pilot, users must register, prove a minimum banking history with BCP, and complete an investment risk assessment before purchasing. All very sensible in a world where even sandcastles require planning permission. 🏗️🧭

According to the sagacious @XMaximist, BNB/BTC has most admirably broken above a descending trendline that had constrained its movements for several months. This breakout, coupled with a most satisfactory retest of prior resistance zones, marks the early stages of a trend reversal pattern. One can almost hear the gasps of excitement from the drawing rooms of the crypto elite! 🧐📈

ETFs and restaking are playing tug-of-war with capital, and validators are caught in the middle! 🦵💸

The technicals? Oh, they’re building pressure, like a wizard holding in a sneeze. The MACD flipped bullish five days ago, but volatility is as compressed as a dwarf in a suit of armor. Calm before the storm, they say. Or just another Tuesday. 🌪️💤

Bitcoin’s daily chart shows signs of consolidation following a powerful rally that carried prices from approximately $107,000 to $126,000 in late September and early October. The move was accompanied by declining volume on the recent pullback, suggesting weak selling pressure.