Crypto news

Noem has become the clear favorite on Polymarket and Kalshi to be the first Trump cabinet member to leave.

With the passing of the so-called Clarity Art (which sounds more like a particularly refined piece of stationery), XRP might just go absolutely bananas-think parabolic, like a well-meaning gent on a pogo stick. The clever Bird on X has predictably predicted that this act will bulldoze through all the cryptic mumbo jumbo, laying down the rules of the game. It’ll tell which digital assets are in and which are out, with the precision of a maître d’ at a dinner party. And as the clouds of legal doubt begin to lift, XRP, having already proven its mettle in court-no small feat-can finally be unleashed without fear of the regulatory hunting party. More trust, more moolah, and more social media hype. Bird, bless him, suspects this moment was all part of the grand plan, positioning XRP ahead of the curve like a shrewd old fox at a foxhunt.

A fresh audit from Gate Research, covering 447 spot listings in 2025, shows a funny thing: there’s a clear split between fast-follow listings and primary launches. Gate’s got some alpha, especially in its exclusive project pipeline, where price discovery in the first 30 minutes looked like a sprint, with a median gain of about 81%. Great, right? If you could pick the starters, you’d pick the starters.

In a world where governments often dream of holding treasure, Tether, with a grin, expanded its gold reserves to surpass many nations’ hoards, all while sipping virtual tea and basking in the glow of digital glory.

On the 27th of January, in the year 2026, Paypal and the National Cryptocurrency Association (NCA) unveiled their findings, declaring that 39% of U.S. merchants have already opened their tills to cryptocurrency at the point of sale. Lo and behold, 84% of these merchants prophesy that such payments shall become as common as a courtier’s flattery within half a decade. This fervor, they say, is driven by the whims of customers and the swiftness of transactions. The study, conducted among merchants of all stripes and sizes, finds the largest enterprises (50%) leading this digital dance, with crypto accounting for 26% of their sales. Yet, 90% of merchants declare they would join this fray if only the setup were as simple as a credit card’s grace.

Despite the wretched underperformance of the so-called “flagship cryptocurrency” (a term that reeks of maritime pretension) relative to the venerable gold, Szabo insists that the market’s collective ignorance is, in fact, a cause for jubilation. How very convenient for him!

“Our self-sustaining system, designed to improve food quality, increase same-store sales, and then stuff the profits into the SBR, is transforming the chain using nothing but financial technology and the occasional misheard calculator,” Steak ‘n Shake wrote in a Jan. 27 X post.

A post penned by the Ethereum entity on X (formerly known as Twitter, a platform rapidly becoming a charming relic of the past) on January 27th hinted at this impending digital rite of passage. Community chatter, a rather uncouth habit of many, suggests Thursday is the day.

In his memo, cleverly titled “Gold Rising, Clarity in Suspense” (because who doesn’t love a good cliffhanger?), Hougan paints a picture of the world that’s basically a financial soap opera. Gold’s at $5,000 an ounce? Great, now my grandma’s jewelry is worth more than my 401(k). Thanks, inflation.

Failed to ascend the altar of $2.00, XRP now lingers in the shadow realm of $1.890, outperformed by ghosts in the machine like Bitcoin and Ethereum. The Fib levels-your 50% retracement-mock the bulls as they dig trenches near $1.880.