Crypto news

But alas, the gods of the market are fickle. This wallet, once basking in the glow of $120 million in unrealized profits, has since shed over $70 million. Such is the price of hubris! No hedge, no safety net-just pure, unadulterated exposure. Margin? Oh, it’s being used, heavily. This trader is all-in, betting on a market that’s been stumbling like a drunkard on a tightrope. Will he soar like an eagle or crash like a sack of potatoes? Only time will tell. 🌪️

Oh, the fickle heart of the market, ever shifting like the tides of human despair! 🌊 Just yesterday, we lamented the weak institutional demand for bitcoin, noting net outflows of over $500 million from spot bitcoin exchange-traded funds (ETFs) in the first two days of the week. 🤯 But lo! On Wednesday, they amassed over $457.3 million, the highest single-day tally in five weeks. A trend that needs to continue to power BTC higher. The bull phases earlier this year saw multiple days of above $500 million in net inflows almost every week. 📈

The disparity between long and short liquidations reached a grotesque crescendo, a 122,680% imbalance that would make a medieval scribe weep. Within four hours, the price of XRP danced like a marionette, its strings tugged by unseen hands, while the market’s collective breath held. 🎭

By October, we’re talking about a jaw-dropping $1.5 trillion in monthly adjusted stablecoin transaction volume. For reference, Visa and Mastercard were sitting pretty with network spending volumes of $4.4 trillion and $2.7 trillion, respectively. It’s like stablecoins pulled a fast one at the family reunion and borrowed all the attention! 🎉

Now, before you start daydreaming about those 65% gains floating around the corner like a friendly hitchhiker, let’s take a moment to revel in the sobering reality:

So, this Parallel Channel thing? It’s like your toxic ex. The upper line is all, “I’m your ceiling, baby,” while the lower one whispers, “I’ll catch you when you fall… maybe.” Martinez says if you dip below that $2,930 mark, it’s not just a breakup-it’s a full-on dramatic exit to $2,000. And if that fails? Oh honey, you’re looking at $1,090, which is basically crypto rock bottom. 🪨

Our esteemed Mr. d’Haussy, CEO of the DYdX Foundation, has gifted us a series of pronouncements about 2026. Apparently, the future isn’t just digital; it’s stubbornly localized. Digital asset treasuries (DATs), those mysterious hoarders of cryptos, are apparently feeling a bit… nervous. They’re eyeing a return to the motherland, establishing validator networks within the cozy confines of national borders. 🤭

The Tennessee Department of Commerce & Insurance (TDCI)’s Securities Division, in a move that ruined everyone’s holiday spirit, unveiled “the 12 top investor threats” on Dec. 16. Because nothing says “Merry Christmas” like a reminder that strangers want your money.

Yes, you heard right! Our friends at SBI Ripple Asia have rolled up their sleeves and teamed up with Doppler Finance. Their goal? To whip up yield products and tokenized assets based on XRP. It’s like the first dance at a wedding-awkward yet thrilling, and oh so promising!

Ethereum, ever the optimist, endeavored to rise-only to be smacked down by the cruel hand of fate, much like its compatriot Bitcoin. ETH slithered beneath $2,950 and $2,920, tumbling headlong into the bear’s den.