Ah, the global crypto payments sector! It’s growing faster than the BFG’s ears after a good stretch. And now, PengoPay has waddled onto the scene, promising to make blockchain payments as simple as stealing candy from a giant. (But don’t worry, giants aren’t involved-just businesses and freelancers.)
In a letter penned with the urgency of a drowning man clutching a quill, 11 lawmakers-led by the ever-dramatic Sens. Chris Van Hollen and Elizabeth Warren-beseech Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent and Attorney General Pam Bondi to launch a full-blown probe. One imagines the letter itself trembling with righteous indignation.
So, here we are, folks. Ethereum is approaching a landmark moment in its history: the possibility of six consecutive months in the red. Yes, you heard it right. Six! It’s not quite 2018’s seven-month streak of misery, but it’s close enough to get the crypto pundits into a frenzy. And let’s be real, if Ethereum pulls this off, it might just need a therapist.
The week began with a spectacle fit for a Tolstoyan tragedy. On the 23rd of February, $203.8 million fled Bitcoin ETFs, BlackRock’s IBIT leading the exodus with a tearful $116.4 million exit. One might pity the investors, had they not been the architects of their own folly.
At the same time, he thinks that Wall Street negativity on Bitcoin is “real but wrong,” a sentiment as fleeting as a moth’s flutter in a storm.
Oh, but the decline was no mere stumble! Lower highs emerged like a chorus of sour notes beneath key moving averages, while the 20 EMA near $0.3015 and 50 EMA around $0.3059 played the role of overzealous gatekeepers, refusing to let our hero (or rather, victim) ascend. A farce of resistance, indeed!
On February 27, a group of eleven senators-pouring over the parchment once resembling a political scribe’s handwriting-sent a letter to Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent and Attorney General Pam Bondi. They warned that Binance might be a prolific magician performing illicit finance tricks, fluttering charms that could spell national peril.
This decision comes as a direct result of a security incident so catastrophic, it made the Titanic look like a tea party.
According to the official press release, the funds were connected to scams where victims were lured in with promises of “romance, fake profits, and a side of cryptocurrency.” Because who doesn’t want a boyfriend who also doubles as a financial advisor?
So, the rally decided to take a nap after three days of non-stop partying. Spot bitcoin ETFs were like, “Nah, we’re good,” and slipped into negative territory with a $27.55 million outflow. Blame it on Blackrock’s IBIT, which threw a $32.71 million tantrum and stormed out. Rude.
