Crypto news

He insists, with a serious demeanor befitting the gravest of sermons, that this current cycle is not a miracle but a necessary purge. Like a wise peasant plowing under the weeds to let the real crops flourish, the crypto market must rid itself of the thousands of tokens that have no true demand or lasting purpose. These are mere chaff, driven only by the wind of speculation, not by the sturdy roots of utility or revenue. Truly, it is a lesson as old as mankind: what is weak shall be exposed in times of hardship.

The pullback coincides with global tensions, sending investors scrambling to the safety of risk-off positions. But don’t worry, analysts are still optimistic about XRP in 2026-because who needs a crystal ball when you have a spreadsheet?

According to ExpressVPN-an outfit that presumably makes a fine living from such anxieties-one Jeremiah Fowler discovered a database, a veritable mountain of data some 96 gigabytes in size, containing 149,404,754 unique login details. A number so large, one almost loses count… almost.

According to that reliable paper, the Nikkei Asia-and you know how those fellas love a good story-the government’s Financial Services Agency is ponderin’ addin’ these cryptocurrencies to the list of things folks are allowed to trade with. Imagine! Holdin’ Bitcoin (whatever that might be) directly in a fund, traded right on the Tokyo Stock Exchange. Why, it’s practically reckless!

According to the US Department of Justice (who clearly had a field day with this one), Panzera was part of a drug trafficking organization that made Black Friday shoppers look amateur. Hundreds of kilograms of fentanyl analogues, MDMA, methylone, and ketamine? Check. Counterfeit pills that were basically fentanyl roulette? Double check. Over a metric ton of drugs imported? Triple check. And let’s not forget the hundreds of thousands of dollars sent to China via Bitcoin and wire transfers. Because who needs Venmo when you’re funding a global drug empire?

Now, this analysis was all the buzz on social media-because where else would you discuss cryptocurrency if not on X? They even shared a multi-year chart that looks more complicated than a crossword puzzle. Apparently, XRP has been playing in four phases for over a decade. It’s like watching your favorite soap opera: full of drama and a lot of ups and downs, but somehow still captivating.

Market participants are currently engaged in a riveting game of “Will it or won’t it?” as they speculate whether Dogecoin will plunge into the murky depths of lower liquidity pockets before attempting a grand return to glory. Spoiler alert: the odds seem about as favorable as finding a needle in a haystack while wearing oven mitts.

Consequently, short-term holders sold below their purchase price, locking in losses and signaling a bearish mood. The Short-Term Holder (STH) supply, this week’s headline act, slipped into the red – an unmistakable capitulation curtain.

So, there’s a total buying frenzy in the gold market, sending prices soaring by over 80% in just a year. Who knew shiny rocks could be so popular?

Ah, the theater of the crypto markets! A little-known Solana memecoin, as insignificant as a flea on the back of a drunken bureaucrat, has shocked traders with a rally sharper than a barber’s razor. All because of a single post from the White House, a place where penguins and presidents apparently walk hand in wing. What a spectacle, dear reader, what a farce!