Yet, in true dramatic fashion, a certain oracle-previously blessed with the gift of foresight-now murmurs of a potential revival, as though the stars have aligned for a tragic hero’s redemption arc.
Blockchain.com, that cryptocurrency’s most notorious serpent, has officially filed paperwork with the SEC, a move so stealthy it would make a ninja weep. The company, which likely owns more Bitcoin than a medieval king owns gold, has chosen secrecy as its cloak, allowing it to tiptoe through the SEC’s labyrinthine corridors without revealing its financial secrets. A true masterstroke of corporate theatrics.
The PAC’s timing is as impeccable as a court jester’s jest. With the CLARITY Act wending its way through Congress and the SEC in disarray, they’ve chosen the moment to enter the fray. One might say they’ve caught the government mid-yawn.
Bloomberg’s Eric Balchunas, a man whose job is to sound wise while sipping lukewarm coffee, declared the launch “perfectly timed.” A bold claim, considering the rest of the financial world has been slouching toward the tavern like a drunkard with a limp. While stocks, bonds, and even Bitcoin have been playing the role of the village fool, HYPE has been climbing like a barn cat after a prize rooster, up 37% since its debut.
In a most engaging discourse on the platform X, Mr. O’Leary recounted a recent interview with FOX, wherein he extolled the virtues of stablecoins over the fickle Bitcoin. He described the latter as a speculative endeavor, its value as unpredictable as the whims of a capricious courtier. In contrast, stablecoins, he proclaimed, are a marvel of modern finance, their reliability akin to a well-kept estate.
Summary
In a new X article, Glassnode has talked about the part of the Bitcoin supply in circulation that’s exposed to the risk posed by Quantum Computing. “Quantum Computing” refers to an emerging class of computers that can, in theory, be powerful enough to break advanced cryptographic systems. Bitcoin and other cryptocurrencies could be examples of such systems. Or, as the rest of the universe would call them, “the bane of the crypto world.”
And yet, he praises ETFs as “a major driver of innovation,” even as they tripled in size. How dare he! Innovation without oversight is like a bear in a bakery-eventually, someone gets flour in their fur.
This consultation, one suspects, is less about reform and more about the Commission’s desperate attempt to avoid the ignominy of being outpaced by the very crypto enthusiasts it once dismissed as “digital gold diggers.” The public is asked to weigh in on whether the framework needs “updates” to reflect the “developing landscape”-a phrase that sounds suspiciously like code for “we’re panicking and need to look proactive.”
