Bitwise Buys Chorus One: Crypto Love Story or Billion-Dollar Blunder?

Bitwise has officially acquired Chorus One, because nothing says “trust us” to investors quite like consolidating your competition. The deal promises to turbocharge Bitwise’s staking operations with Chorus One’s “scale, expertise, and wider network coverage,” which is just a fancy way of saying they’re hoping to avoid looking like a startup that forgot to grow up. The move also claims to address the “rising institutional demand for secure, yield-generating crypto infrastructure solutions.” Translation: Institutions are clearly just dying to park their cash in digital vaults managed by people who’ve never seen a balance sheet.

Moonpay’s AI Agents: Autonomous, Unshackled, and Possibly a Bit Too Smart?

On the 24th of February, 2026, Moonpay, ever the alchemist of finance, unveiled Moonpay Agents, a developer’s dream woven into the Moonpay CLI. This platform, a pivotal moment in the “agent economy,” provides AI systems with the infrastructure to hold value and transact, all while human oversight slumbers. Once a user completes a one-time KYC verification-a ritual as ancient as bureaucracy itself-and funds a wallet, their AI agent, that digital serf, can programmatically trade, swap assets, and move funds across various blockchains, as if guided by the whims of a capricious god.

XRP’s Decentralized Dilemma: A Wildean Waltz of Power and Paradox

On the 25th of February, 2026, the digital realm was treated to a spectacle so theatrical it could rival a West End play. Justin Bons, with the fervor of a man who’s never read a single line of Shakespeare, declared war on “permissioned” blockchains, including XRP, Stellar, and Algorand. His message? “Centralization is not the future of finance.” One must wonder if Mr. Bons has ever encountered a quill or a typewriter, both of which are also centralized, yet somehow managed to birth the Enlightenment.

Vitalik Buterin’s Ethereum Exit Strategy: Privacy Projects or Panic Selling?

Arkham Intelligence reports that Buterin’s wallets held 241,000 ETH at the start of February. By now, he’s down to 224,000 ETH, which is about as comforting as finding out your savings account balance is now measured in pennies. Over three days in February, he offloaded $6.6 million, and in the past three days alone, another $7 million. If this were a movie, he’d be the guy nervously counting Monopoly money while whispering, “This is for the greater good.”

Pi Network’s Rise: A Digital Utopia or a New Tyranny?

Pi Network’s anniversary is less a celebration and more a requiem for the naive. One year since its “open” mainnet launch, the project has grown, yes-but at what cost? The numbers swell like a plague, yet the questions linger: Who truly benefits from this digital serfdom?

Bitcoin’s BIP-110: A Fork in the Road or a Dead End?

BIP-110, that darling of Luke Dashjr, promises to corral stray data in transactions with the precision of a poet and the subtlety of a sledgehammer. Lopp, ever the skeptic, dismisses it as a seven-lock door on a house built on sand. He calls it “reckless and doomed to fail,” not for its technical merits (which he admits are “neat, if slightly unhinged”) but for the way it threatens to turn Bitcoin’s governance into a game of Russian roulette with the network itself.

Brazil’s BBRL Stablecoin: Now on Polygon-Because Why Not?

Banco Braza, a Brazilian foreign exchange bank, has launched its Brazilian real-backed stablecoin, BBRL, on the Polygon blockchain. The development was shared on X by Sandeep Nailwal, who referenced how Polygon is increasingly being used for payments and on-chain movement of money. (Because if you can’t trust a blockchain to move your money, what can you trust? A spreadsheet? A napkin? A signed promise?)