Crypto news

Ah, Aleš Michl-the prophet of the digital age-insists that the financial universe should stop fighting the tide of the future. Instead, he suggests, “Build it, test it, understand it,” as if constructing a spaceship out of Lego bricks. His call to banks, investors, and the general public is clear: get hip or get left behind in the archaic analog world. Spoiler alert: Bitcoin could, quite humorously, turn your savings into digital dust.

Trump made this brilliant announcement on Friday, setting Warsh up to take over when Powell’s term ends in May 2026, assuming the Senate doesn’t decide to make this a sitcom. Spoiler alert: they might.

Once a stalwart sentinel at $2,710 since the winter of December, our dear Ethereum has stumbled into the abyss below this threshold, leaving analysts like Ardi to ponder if a more profound descent is imminent. “Very critical, indeed!” they exclaim, as if auditioning for a dramatic reading. Should ETH falter here, one fears the specter of $2,620 will emerge from the shadows, ready to claim another victim.

The signs, my dear, are as unmistakable as a peacock’s plumage. Copper, it seems, is on the brink of a rally that would make even silver blush with envy. And by 2026, tokenized copper may well be the belle of the ball, leaving its more ostentatious siblings in the dust.

The total market capitalization of crypto, once a proud emperor striding through its kingdom at $3.05 trillion, has now shrunk to a mere $2.88 trillion-like a grand feast that turns into a single crumb under the table, robbing the unsuspecting of nearly $200 billion!

The result? A financial fiasco, my friends! Over $1.7 billion in positions liquidated faster than a Mel Brooks punchline. That’s right, 270K traders are crying into their blockchain-themed pillows, with leveraged bulls losing a whopping $1.6 billion. Coinglass data doesn’t lie, folks-it just sits there and judges you.

Warsh sat with Trump in the White House’s marble chambers last Thursday. News agencies – the merciless sharks of the press – report that the President announced his intent to reveal the decision on Friday. Trump, ever the baffling prophet, alluded to a candidate whose time might have come “a few years ago,” turning the room into a stage for a possible theatrical farce.

This grand announcement comes at a moment when markets are in a state of disarray, having just endured a staggering $1.7 billion in crypto liquidations and approximately $9 trillion in what can only be described as monetary gymnastics. Oh, the spectacle!

Schwartz, ever the diplomat, declined to make an absolute claim when pressed by an eager X user to declare XRP’s journey to $50 or $100 as impossible. “I don’t feel comfortable saying something like that,” he purred, with a hint of amusement. “After all, I once thought XRP hitting $0.25 was as likely as a snowball’s chance in Hades. And look at us now!”

As the inimitable CEO Simon Gerovich proclaimed with the gravity of a man announcing the discovery of a new continent: