So, Ethereum treasury firm FG Nexus decided to offload another 7,550 ETH, worth roughly $14.06 million, according to Lookonchain. That’s like selling your soul for a slightly used treadmill. Their once-bold conviction in ether’s upside now looks about as solid as a Jenna Maroney promise.
Bitwise, a San Francisco-based crypto asset manager with $15 billion in assets (or “digital gold” if you’re feeling poetic), has acquired Chorus One, a staking provider with $2.2 billion in staked assets. The deal folds Chorus One into Bitwise Onchain Solutions, a division that now sounds less like a tech startup and more like a Kafkaesque bureaucratic nightmare.
And just when you thought, “Oh, that’s a nice little chunk of change,” here comes the kicker: USDC in circulation hit $75.3 billion. That’s a 72% year-over-year growth. Not bad, not bad. But the real question: is there anyone not using USDC at this point? It’s like the water cooler of crypto-everybody’s got it, and if you don’t, well, what are you doing with your life?
The rally follows the launch of Etherfi Cash, a Visa card offering up to 3% cashback with no annual fee. The card integrates with Apple Pay and Google Pay and is accepted globally. Because nothing says “I’m a DeFi wizard” like getting 3% back on your coffee.
And yet, as if the idea of allowing financial experiments weren’t enough, there’s a caveat – policymakers are also proposing limits on the amount of stablecoins any citizen can own. That’s right. Apparently, the government is worried about people hoarding all the shiny, digital coins like it’s some sort of treasure hunt. Which, let’s face it, it probably is.
Behold, the DOT price now dances at $1.53, having leapt a sprightly 23% in the past day. Such vigor! Such vigor that makes one wonder if the coin has secretly enrolled in a Zumba class. This ascent, however, is not mere froth; it has decisively breached a multi-month channel that had caged it since late 2025. A cage, mind you, that was likely built by a bear with a grudge and a protractor.
In the same breath, its market cap jumped 23% to $488 million. Talk about a good day at the office. Steady capital inflow? More like a floodgate opening.
In a missive on the platform X, BitQuant observes with a touch of irony that only the indefatigable Saylor’s Strategy dares to embrace Bitcoin at $65,000, while the rest of the world quivers at the specter of a potential U.S. incursion into Iran. The fear, it seems, is that such an event would send Bitcoin tumbling to $50,000, a prospect so dire that wallets remain firmly shut. Ethereum, ever the loyal companion, is expected to follow suit, its fate inextricably tied to its more illustrious counterpart.
Coinbase Global Inc. (Nasdaq: COIN), that harbinger of financial hubris, hath flung open its gates to the unwashed masses, offering them 8,000+ stocks to trade alongside their crypto trinkets. On February 24, this digital Behemoth, in league with Yahoo Finance, proclaimed its grand vision: to become the one-stop shop for the financially desperate, the greedy, and the deluded. Ah, what a spectacle of human folly!
Announced on a crisp California evening at the Linux Foundation’s annual gala-a soiree where the champagne flows as freely as the open-source platitudes-the Foundation now boasts 146 organizations, a menagerie of 18 Gold Members and 79 Silver souls. One might mistake it for a medieval guild, if not for the quantum servers.