Crypto news

As CNBC reported Monday, the blockade has reignited market fears beyond the oil price, with analysts warning that Hormuz closure paired with infrastructure strikes could push Brent toward $150 per barrel. White House spokeswoman Karoline Leavitt said the administration “will always act within the confines of the law,” which sounds like a line lifted from a fortune cookie. Annie Shiel, US Director at Center for Civilians in Conflict, called Trump’s earlier threats “appalling,” noting: “President Trump is threatening to destroy infrastructure that is essential for civilian survival.”

Bitcoin, that fickle star, flashed its brilliance over the weekend, no doubt spurred by the geopolitical winds that blow with the force of a thousand quills. Yet, our sage MooninPapa, in his latest chart review, declares the true lesson is not in the flash, but in the art of patience-a virtue as rare in markets as honesty in a courtier’s promise.

Key Takeaways:

In a revelation worthy of the finest absurdist theater, a mysterious figure known only as NoName-because who needs an actual name when you have such gravitas?-has proclaimed that Bitcoin has hit its second and final bull trap since it reached its dizzying heights in 2025. This announcement was not delivered via the usual channels of sober analysis but rather through the chaotic realm of X, which I assume is where all highly reputable financial discussions occur these days.

Just today, Bitcoin found itself tumbling below the rather alarming threshold of $71,000, following unsettling news regarding the US blockade at the Strait of Hormuz. But fret not, for the coin did make a valiant recovery, trading once more above the more respectable figure of $72K, after it was clarified that non-Iranian tankers would not find themselves ensnared in this maritime debacle. This swift rebound was further buoyed by none other than BlackRock, who, in a rather extravagant display of financial prowess, purchased a staggering $612 million worth of BTC. Ah, the whims of the market!

Ah, Kraken, the crypto leviathan, finds itself in a farce of extortion, a tragicomedy where the villains are not masked hackers from afar but, alas, the very hands that once tended its gardens. A criminal cabal, with the audacity of a street performer demanding coins for a botched juggling act, threatens to unveil videos of fleeting glimpses into the sanctum of client data. Yet, Kraken, with a shrug as cold as the depths it’s named after, refuses to feed the trolls.

Kraken, a cryptocurrency exchange, says it’s being threatened with blackmail. A criminal group claims to have videos proving they accessed the company’s internal systems, but Kraken refuses to pay a ransom and insists customer funds are secure. According to a statement reported by CoinDesk, Kraken says there was no major security breach of its trading systems or wallets. They describe the incident as someone misusing limited internal access, not a successful hack of their main systems.

RaveDAO (RAVE), that capricious minx, has pirouetted to $9.94, a 207.51% ascent in the span of a mere 24 hours, according to the oracles at CoinMarketCap. Venice Token (VVV), a distant suitor, trails with a modest 6.37% rise, as traders, ever fickle, chase the siren song of momentum in the smaller caps.

Ah, the illustrious Coinone, a cryptocurrency exchange nestled in the bustling heart of South Korea, has recently found itself at the mercy of the Financial Intelligence Unit (FIU). It appears they have been gifted a rather inconvenient three-month partial business suspension, along with a delightful little fine of 5.2 billion won, which converts to a charming $3.5 million. Such generosity from the regulators!

Key Takeaways: