Crypto news

By Shayan, the bard of bear markets

Imagine the scene: a soccer club desperately short on cash, but sitting on a treasure trove of media rights they’re too impatient to wait for. Enter Decentral on the Chiliz blockchain-because if you’re going to play hardball with your finances, might as well do it with a digital ball. They’re tokenizing future receipts, turning promises into trades, and giving clubs a fast lane to funding without the bank and its endless paperwork. Who needs banks when you have crypto, right?

Imagine, if you will, the scene: UNI shuffled nervously in its virtual shoes, trading in a narrow corridor of liquidity pressure-like a miserly cat refusing to chase a laser pointer. Despite all the fireworks from high-profile on-chain antics, our brave digital horse stayed calm, as if it had eaten a hearty breakfast of stoicism and slept on a bed of sarcasm. The price? Staying put, shrinking and contracting like my patience at a bureaucratic meeting. 🐱💼

It all started Saturday, when some mysterious new wallet decided to execute a six-hour TWAP (because nothing says ‘fun’ like calculating underwater drama over hours, apparently) to short 398 XYZ100 contracts-roughly $10 million-according to the omniscient Hypurrscan Holy Grail of data.

Bitcoin clings to $90k like a koala to Eucalyptus, while the Fear and Greed Index moonwalks into “I give up, take my crypto.” 🐰💸

As the clock ticked towards the moment of reckoning, Sei lingered at $0.1249 at the hour of disclosure, falling by 1.4% over a day’s spinning, remaining tethered to its $0.12 mooring as it awaited the supply that soon would be free. Over a week’s swirl, SEI danced within a range of $0.1241-$0.1477, resting 6.4% lower than its prior week’s high-flying adventures.

Instead of looking at specific cryptocurrencies, Hashdex focuses on the growing use of crypto technology – especially in areas like payments, financial markets, and systems that rely on data.

Itau Unibanco, the Brazilian banking giant with more customers than a Black Friday sale (nearly 100 million!), has finally decided Bitcoin isn’t just for nerds and criminals. 🧑‍💻✨

These cases, dropped like hot potatoes, were tied to political donations and business ties as tangled as a sailor’s knot. A symphony of loopholes, orchestrated by the Trump family’s crypto empire, where every note is a nickel and a prayer.

Can you believe it? On December 15th, Phantom excitedly twirled on its stage and announced that its magical “Phantom Cash prepaid debit card” rollout is happening in the U.S., said goodbye to being just a regular joe crypto wallet, and suddenly it’s aiming to be an everyday money app. Marvelous!