Oh no, not again! 🚨 Today’s crypto market is basically a financial soap opera with a $28B plot twist. BTC and ETH options are settling like a bad breakup, and let me tell you, the drama is real. 🤯 267,000 Bitcoin options are expiring with a put/call ratio so low, it’s practically a yoga instructor. … Read more
Enter Dr. Profit-yes, that’s his actual name-who thinks Bitcoin might hit rock bottom sometime between September and October 2026. Talk about a long wait! At this rate, I might just grow old and gray waiting for that bottom to drop. 👵⏳
2025’s crash saga 🎬, while Bitcoin flexed and BNB Chain tripled users like, “uh, thanks for the leftovers.” 😎
Key takeaways
The draft BIP seeks to address concerns about blockchain bloat, raising key questions around property rights and core Bitcoin principles. Community responses range from strong support to warnings about setting a risky precedent. 🧠
Samson Mow, the Jan3 boss and Bitcoin’s own carnival barker, reckons this siesta won’t last. “Just you wait,” he says, squinting at the horizon like a man who’s seen this movie before. “The big one’s coming.” 🎪
Trust Wallet’s adventure with trust-defying software updates reached its apex when a mysterious ZachXBT, surely a pseudonym masking a Renaissance man of digital sabotage, declared on Telegram that users had witnessed balances vanish faster than a Russian novel’s plot twists. Alas, no seed phrase is sacred, and version 2.68 proved a Trojan horse for chaos.
But hold your horses, or rather, your TRX tokens! Despite this frenzy of activity, the price is tumbling faster than a chocolate cake down a slippery slope. Down 16% this quarter? That’s not just a dip-it’s a full-on belly flop into the mud! 🤑😱
Between the pleasant times of August and the brisk autumn of November, Bitcoin found itself in the eye of the most fickle storm of leveraged trading in its venerable history. Across 19 exchanges, daily perpetual trade counts ballooned to dizzying heights near 80 million. Yet, that grand epoch has since bowed out, farewell.
The problem, dear reader, is not the bots. It is the lack of proper competition in a space where everyone is either selling your data or trying to sell you something else. Vitalik, with the wisdom of a man who once turned a cryptocurrency into a $1 trillion idea, declares that “adversarial interoperability” is the cure. Imagine, if you will, a world where apps sneak into the digital realm like mischievous goblins, bypassing the gatekeepers of Meta and Twitter. A world where APIs are weaponized, and LLMs duel like dueling pistols in a 19th-century salon.
