Crypto News

At this rather unfortunate juncture, one ETH is worth a measly 0.02191 BTC. It’s the lowest since the days when masks were just for masquerades and people thought “Zoom” was just a sound you made on a bicycle. Back in May 2020, Ether pranced around at $200 while Bitcoin strutted its stuff just under $10,000, much like two friends arguing about who has the better sandwich. Fast forward to today, and ETH is lounging at about $1,800, while BTC is strutting around at a swanky $82,000. Talk about inflation on a cosmic scale!

Sales of those enigmatic non-fungible tokens (NFTs) have plummeted, a dizzying 63% year-over-year decline, a harbinger of waning enthusiasm, perhaps?

Imagine, if you will, TOKEN2049: not merely a conference, but a veritable Mecca for the crypto elite. With a guest list that reads like a who’s who of the blockchain world — think Balaji Srinivasan, Raoul Pal, and Jeremy Allaire, among others — it’s the place where deals are made over champagne and where the future of Web3 is decided between canapés. With15,000 attendees descending upon Dubai’s Madinat Jumeirah, it’s less a conference and more a glamorous gathering of the crypto cognoscenti.

Our heroine, Ms. Rao, has accused Altman of steering the good ship OpenAI into the treacherous waters of profit-seeking, a direction she insists her son would have found utterly repugnant. “Suchir foresaw the harm to humanity,” she declared on X, the social platform of the moment, “which he writes in his journal. He states ‘I have to somehow stop it’. He went against OpenAI and lost his life.”

And what a dip it was! Earlier today, the capricious Bitcoin price slumped to a positively pedestrian intraday low of $81,362. One can almost hear the Metaplanet boardroom echoing with the phrase, “Now, now, my friends, is the time to strike…our wallets, that is!”

Oh, what folly! Mattan Erder, a wise counselor at the grand Orbs blockchain network, doth ponder that tax regulation shouldst not reign supreme. Nay, a more refined focus on securities and banking’s tangled web couldst yield much fruit for our beloved crypto realm.

Oh, and let’s not forget the intraday low of $2.08. Because, you know, that extra cent really makes all the difference. Over the past 24 hours, XRP has slipped by 4.5%, making it the worst-performing altcoin in the top 10. Cardano (ADA) is also having a *fantastic* time, trailing closely behind with a 4.4% drop. Meanwhile, Tron (TRX) is the only other top 10 coin that’s still in the red. Because why not?

XRP and Cardano’s ADA led the charge into the red, with a 5% drop in the past 24 hours. Solana’s SOL, dogecoin (DOGE), and ether (ETH) followed suit, down between 2-3%. It’s a real race to the bottom!

This little editorial delight is straight from last week’s episode of the Week in Review newsletter. Go ahead, subscribe now—you’ll have something to read while pretending to care about your coworkers’ weekend plans.

Launched upon the20th of March, this platform hath conjured $5.4 million in protocol fees, lured700,000 wallets into its lively dance, and facilitated a staggering30.59 million swaps, as the scribes at Dune Analytics doth report.