One cannot help but observe that the week began with a most unflattering dip for both bitcoin and ether exchange-traded funds, as investors, ever the fickle suitors, chose to trim their exposure following a period of volatile flows. Monday’s numbers reveal a most disheartening trend, with no ETF spared from the crimson hue of losses. 📉
Amid whispers of centralization and sequencers playing dress-up as exchanges, Buterin leaned back in his chair, squinting at the screen like a man who’s seen it all. “Base? It’s got the charm of a saloon and the security of Fort Knox. They don’t hold your keys-they just help you jingle ’em right.”
Wall Street’s finest are circling the wagons! 🤹♂️ JP Morgan’s entry joins a star-studded lineup including BlackRock’s Maxwell Stein (tokenization’s answer to Captain America), Citi’s Ryan Rugg (who probably owns a vest made of crypto memes), Fidelity’s Cynthia Lo Bessette (the “I ♥ Digital Assets” queen), and State Street’s Kim Hochfeld (cash’s last stand). The agenda? Stein’s debating Moody’s about tokenized capital markets-because nothing says “party” like a spreadsheet showdown. 📊
On a Monday, as the world sipped its coffee, Dimon whispered to CNBC-TV18, “Inflation, that wily fox, lingers at 3%, neither fleeing nor yielding.” He yearned not for the Fed’s scalpel but for the steady heartbeat of growth, untainted by recession’s shadow. “Should inflation persist,” he warned, “the Fed’s hand shall remain stayed.” 🦊📉
The XRP chart isn’t just a pretty squiggle; it’s a cautionary tale scribbled in digital ink. Analysts, ever the gloomy bunch, warn of a dreaded wave-B correction-which, in layman’s terms, means another stomach-dropping plunge. Remember 2018? When XRP’s price stumbled nearly 80% from its peak of $3.84? Yeah, that wasn’t fun. It’s like watching your favorite team choke in the final seconds. Again.
It hoards over 57% of the crypto kingdom’s treasure, sitting pretty at $2.37T. But let’s be honest, it’s more of a goldfish in a pond than a dragon. 🐠
Ah, Shiba Inu (SHIB) – the meme coin that could… until it couldn’t. Despite sporadic flashes of price increases, SHIB has been on a rather tragic decline since the dawn of 2025. A meager $0.00001223 per coin (yep, you read that right), marking a 42% drop from its New Year high. Market cap down to $7.2 billion, and meanwhile, MemeCore (M) and Pepe (PEPE) are laughing all the way to the bank as they start to catch up.
Verily, this decree might expand the investment horizons of 401(k) plans to include such exotic fare as Bitcoin and other “alternative assets,” thereby bestowing upon the common man portfolio choices hitherto reserved for the gilded elite.
Strive Inc. (ASST), with its aptly acronymic ticker, stumbled 4.6%, while Metaplanet and MSTR-those twin pillars of mediocrity-suffered minor indignities of 3.13% and 2.56%, respectively. A comedy of errors, indeed. 🤡
Yes. Top holders added 4.91 million WLD, while Exchange Outflows hit $4.78 million. The whales are like, “We’re not afraid of the dip! We’re *inviting* it to dinner.” 🐋
