Gate’s 13th Birthday Bash: Crypto’s Wildest Ride Yet!

Thirteen years ago, Gate was just a startup with a dream and a website that crashed every time someone tried to buy Bitcoin. Now it’s a global titan, serving 50 million users who range from “retail investors” (read: people who think Ethereum is a type of coffee) to institutional giants. With 4,500 digital assets and a spot trading volume exceeding $74 billion in February, Gate’s liquidity is so deep it could drown a small economy. And its reserve coverage ratio? A staggering 125%-because nothing says “trust us” like keeping 25% more money than you need, just in case.

North Korea’s Lazarus Group: A Perilous Pirouette at Bitrefill’s Party!

Cryptocurrency payments and gift card platform Bitrefill, that paragon of modern commerce, has blamed the North Korea-linked Lazarus Group for a cyberattack on March 1, 2026. The incident, which would make even a seasoned butler blush, compromised infrastructure and cryptocurrency wallets. One might imagine the hackers as a troupe of monocle-wearing burglars with a taste for chaos.

Starbucks’ Data Leak: Your Info is Now a Cappuccino

On the fateful 10th of March, a missive of ominous intent was dispatched to the faithful clientele, bearing tidings of a most insidious intrusion. A malevolent interloper, having procured login credentials via phishing sites that masqueraded as Partner Central, infiltrated the hallowed halls of Starbucks’ digital domain.

Bitcoin’s New Cycle: 2022’s Shadow Fades?

According to a sagacious observer known as DorkChicken, Bitcoin’s current trajectory diverges sharply from the cataclysmic descent of 2022. The analyst’s diagram, a tapestry of historical support levels, suggests a market now fortified by layers of resilience, as if the cryptocurrency had finally mastered the art of self-preservation. Yet, one cannot help but chuckle at the irony: a market that once collapsed under its own weight now boasts a structure so robust it might rival the Kremlin’s walls-though perhaps not quite as enduring.

Regulatory Chessboard: SEC & CFTC Unveil Crypto Rulebook

On March 17, the Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) and the Commodity Futures Trading Commission (CFTC), two regulatory giants with the dexterity of sleep-deprived tortoises, issued a joint-agency interpretive guidance. This document, penned in the densest legalese since the Treaty of Tordesillas, attempts to explain how federal securities laws apply to crypto assets and network transactions. One suspects the SEC’s legal team may have consulted a thesaurus written in hieroglyphs.

Arizona vs. Kalshi: Gambling or Genius? The Desert Showdown Heats Up!

Arizona Attorney General Kris Mayes, clearly not a fan of high-stakes predictions, filed a 20-count criminal information against KalshiEx LLC and Kalshi Trading LLC on March 17. The charge? Violating state gambling and election laws. Apparently, Kalshi forgot to send Arizona a thank-you card (or a business registration form) before letting residents bet on everything from the Super Bowl to who’ll win the 2028 presidential race. Oopsie!