Crypto news

As we speak (or rather, as you read this), Solana is trading at the charmingly precise figure of $104, which is about as stable as a chicken on roller skates in a disco. This number comes after a rather dramatic plunge, fueled by the crypto market’s tendency to throw tantrums like a toddler denied ice cream. Recent data from Brave New Coin suggests SOL has taken a nosedive of over 11% today, landing it right in the sweet spot of historical influence since 2024-whatever that means.

Across the wild west of derivatives exchanges, bitcoin futures open interest is sitting at 677,730 BTC, or a whopping $52.98 billion. But hold onto your hats-that’s a 6.83% drop in the last 24 hours! Looks like January’s volatility left everyone with a hangover.

So, Strategy’s Big Boss, Michael Saylor, the man who owns more bitcoin than most people own Facebook accounts, is hinting at buying more. Classic move-buy high, sell low, right?

Oh, the irony! In October, this very whale was the toast of the market, a master of timing, who, with a flick of his tail, opened shorts so vast, they shook the crypto world. Moments before Trump’s tariff tempest, he struck, amassing over $1 billion in shorts on Bitcoin and Ethereum.

The big drop on Thursday? Just the Fed playing hard to get on interest rates, and Trump playing ‘Navy, I hardly knew ye’ near Iran. Friday? Markets decided to bounce back like a pinball-until, bam! Gold decided to take a nosedive, like your cousin Vinny trying to jump over the couch.

In this theater of crypto, Bitget hath played the role of the prudent hoarder, amassing Bitcoin with a zeal that would make even the most frugal miser blush. Despite the tempestuous winds of market volatility, our protagonist, led by the intrepid CEO Gracy Chen, hath clung to its accumulation strategy with the tenacity of a barnacle on a shipwreck.

According to the wise sage of numbers, Egrag Crypto, on the grand monthly stage, XRP has bravely tested the sacred support zone around $1.60-$1.61, with a daring dip as low as $1.50. Yet, like a phoenix rising from the ashes, it closed the month above $1.60 and waddled into February at a sprightly $1.66, proving that buyers are still very much alive and kicking around this level.

One must marvel at the irony: the SEC, though not entirely defunct, is barely more animate than a taxidermied bear. The EDGAR system, that digital repository of corporate filings, continues its mindless hum, while the human cogs who once reviewed these documents have been furloughed to their drawing rooms, leaving the machinery to churn unsupervised. A Kafkaesque tableau, indeed.

Ripple’s XRP, that fickle wretch of a token, did not escape the fashion of folly; it tumbled to its nadir since November 2024 (on most stalls of trade) at a touch above $1.50. Since that tumble, there hath been a modest recovery-now it sits beyond $1.60-but the sentiment remains draped in sombre velvet, bearish as a winter’s night.

Ripple (XRP) hit $1.5000, down 55% from its 2025 high. Ouch. Investors are crying into their lattes. Billions gone. But hey, at least they’ve got stories to tell at cocktail parties.