Enter 0x58bro: the crypto world’s equivalent of that quiet person in the office who owns three Teslas and never talks. Arkham analytics spotted them posting about millions in profit on X. Shockingly, they have only 1,700 followers. Yes, really. Proof that influence is overrated when your spreadsheets are savage.
The crypto market decided to be “chill” on Thursday. Bitcoin and ether (ETH) each managed to gain less than 1%, as investors took a coffee break after Wednesday’s hype-fueled breakout.
Now, gather round, for the tale of Chamath Palihapitiya, a fellow who’s made a packet as a venture capitalist and once toiled at Facebook (before it became Meta, or whatever they’re calling it these days). This chap has taken it upon himself to declare bitcoin’s “structural failing,” which, he claims, will prevent it from becoming the darling of governments and central banks. Bold words, what?
Today, crypto analyst Michaël van de Poppe, ever the eternal optimist, spotted something noteworthy. Bitcoin has hit a crucial resistance level, and though he’s not expecting an immediate breakout, he was bold enough to declare the short-term trend switch to be “the most vital trend switch we’ve seen since 10/10.” A bold statement, indeed.
Yet, let us not be swayed by the theatrics of numbers. The 666, while theatrically ominous, is but a symbol-a wink from the universe, or perhaps a middle finger. Traders, ever the superstitious lot, have scrambled to take positions, their fingers twitching like cats at a mouse hole. Volatility, that fickle mistress, has begun her dance, and the Shiba Inu, ever the performer, is center stage.
As of the latest update, with ETH currently sitting at $2,102, it reached a heady high of $2,198 during the mad dash of the March 4 U.S. trading session. The cause of this ruckus? Why, none other than Bitcoin’s charming recovery above $70,000. A classic case of one crypto’s rise giving the others a lovely little lift.
AUDD is a stablecoin created by AUDC Private Ltd, which is part of the Australian fintech company Novatti. It’s officially licensed as a financial service in Australia, setting it apart from many other digital tokens that haven’t been fully regulated. This means major Australian banks and financial institutions can now legally use and trade digital Australian dollars directly on the blockchain.
In a recent “I’m just saying” moment, Chamath pointed out that Bitcoin’s transparency makes it a bit of a nosy neighbor. Central banks, he argues, need assets that can keep secrets-like a spy with a Swiss bank account. But Bitcoin? It’s more like that friend who shares your DMs with the group chat. “Not exactly reserve material,” he shrugged, probably while sipping a $20 latte.
With a flourish worthy of a Victorian novelist, Ethereum surged past the $2,050 resistance, mirroring its cousin Bitcoin. It breezed through $2,080 and $2,120, only to be crowned at $2,200 before a dramatic correction. Below $2,150 it dipped, like a debutante retreating from the dance floor, skirting the 23.6% Fib retracement level of its upward dalliance from $1,929 to $2,200.
Once again, crypto has proven that it’s not just about digital fortunes-it’s about survival in the real world, or at least that’s what @sillytuna seems to have learned the hard way. After reporting an attack and subsequent coercion, this unfortunate soul claims he was forced to move nearly $24 million in crypto, leaving a trail that’s now sparking alarm in the crypto community. Apparently, the lesson here is that being a whale in crypto can get you harpooned in real life.