Let’s talk about Dogecoin (DOGE) first, the meme that never dies-well, at least until something newer and shinier comes along. It’s hovering at a solid $0.20, with a market cap of $29.57 billion. Oh, and volatility? Just 1.7% in the last 24 hours, so calm down, people-no need for dramatic flailing just yet. 💸
The $230 million security breach (which, let’s be honest, is enough to make even the most stoic CFO weep into their spreadsheet) effectively turned India’s oldest crypto exchange into a digital ghost town. 👻 But fear not, dear traders, for the phoenix has risen from the ashes, or at least, it’s trying to. WazirX co-founder Nischal Shetty (who probably hasn’t slept in 16 months) confirmed that trading will resume on October 24. Tokens will be enabled over four days, because even crypto needs a warm-up before the marathon. 🏃♂️ By October 27, it’ll be business as usual-or as usual as crypto ever gets. Shetty, in a post on X (formerly known as Twitter, because why not add more confusion?), said:
Samson Mow, the Chief Executive Officer of JAN3 (a title that sounds almost too grand for the occasion), tempered the enthusiasm surrounding the shift of capital from gold into Bitcoin. You see, it wasn’t just any day that Mow issued his statement; it followed a rather unceremonious collapse of the gold market.
“After careful consideration,” they intoned, as if the platform had been ailing since its birth, “we’ve decided to discontinue our service.” A bold choice, akin to announcing the sky’s blue after a hurricane. 🌪️
With this license, the venerable firm is now authorized to do what it does best across thirty European countries-offer custody and wallet services-like a seasoned concierge in a bustling casino. And if you think that’s all, they’re eyeing the big leagues: institutional services, treasury management, and all the jazz that makes bankers chuckle with delight.
takes the crown, yet again, for the fourth week of October. 🌟
A sneaky bear flag on the daily chart whispers of a Bitcoin nosedive to $88,000. 🐻📉
With a staggering 26 million users, Robinhood has become the playground for wannabe Wall Street wolves (or perhaps sheep? 🐑). And now, they’re adding BNB to the mix, which means your portfolio can finally be as complicated as your Netflix recommendations. Other crypto options already on the platform include the classics-Bitcoin (BTC), Ethereum (ETH), and that Dogecoin you pretend to understand. No biggie.
Oh, look who’s back! Peter Schiff, the golden goose of doom, is slapping a NFT on gold like it’s the latest fashion trend. “Tokenized gold,” he says, because nothing says “trust” like a vault and an app. 🤷♀️
Don’t go all wobbly-kneed-buy the dip, dash it all! That’s the battle cry echoing through the crypto corridors as Bitcoin ($BTC) sulks below $110K. What ho, indeed!
