The outfit has tucked in a post-effective amendment to its Form N-1A with the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission. The plan is to roll out two XRP‑linked trifles on or about April 23: the GraniteShares 3x Long XRP Daily ETF and its neater, if less sunny, brother, the GraniteShares 3x Short XRP Daily ETF.
BTC sits comfortably at roughly $75,000, but the on‑chain cost metrics seem to be haggling, pointing to $76,800-a threshold where short‑term holders might throw on a sale coat and retreat. CoinDesk’s latest observations hint that when a coin nudges into that “realised margin” zone, supply on exchanges often surges; investors are doing their own break‑even dance, which can spell a brief pause or a gentle pullback.
On the fateful Thursday, April 16, 2026, Bitrue, with a flourish of its digital quill, announced this grand integration. The stablecoin, once a mere whisper in the vast halls of blockchain, now stands as collateral for loans. Oh, the utility! Oh, the grandeur! One can almost hear the echoes of traders rejoicing, their keyboards clacking in unison as they prepare to leverage their RLUSD for greater glories-or, more likely, greater losses, for the crypto gods are fickle.
You see, Strategy Inc., once a humble business intelligence outfit, has pivoted harder than a tipsy uncle at a wedding dance. Their software business? Mere pocket lint compared to their grand obsession: hoarding Bitcoin like it’s the last tin of caviar at a society soiree. As of April 16, 2026, they’ve amassed nearly 780,897 Bitcoins, splurging a cool $58.04 billion at an average of $75,580 per coin. Dash it all, that’s enough to make a fellow’s head spin faster than a roulette wheel at Monte Carlo.
The stock market, that otherworldly beast, paused its giddy dance of delusion. The Nasdaq and S&P 500, which had pirouetted into record highs, now wobbled like a child’s top. Meanwhile, crypto-linked stocks-Coinbase, Robinhood, and their merry band of charlatans-plummeted 2%-3%, as if the very earth had grown weary of their antics.
Now, if you’ve ever wanted to trade while simultaneously binge-watching your favorite soap opera at 3 AM, this is your moment! BitMEX, the home of perpetual swaps on everything from stocks to forex (because why not?), offers these beauties 24/7. Yes, you heard it! No more waiting for the market to wake up from its beauty sleep. You can trade when the mood strikes, even if it’s the middle of the night and you’re wearing pajamas! The campaign kicks off on April 16, 2026, at noon UTC and wraps up on May 16, 2026, at 11:59 PM UTC. So, you have a whole month to make your trading dreams come true-or to realize that maybe trading isn’t your thing after all.
Davinci Jeremie, that guy from 2013 who screamed “BUY BTC AT $1!” like a prophet in a bathrobe, has returned to warn you: the bottom isn’t the bottom. Nope, not yet. He claims BTC’s about to experience “Max Pain,” which sounds like a new crypto-themed rollercoaster. Spoiler: it’s not fun.
Scaramucci, that illustrious founder of SkyBridge Capital, has stood as a beacon of Bitcoin advocacy, even as the market wailed like a banshee. In a recent SoFi interview, he expounded upon his unshakable faith, revealing the precise moment when the heavens shall part and Bitcoin shall rise again.
On the 4-hour chart, Bitcoin has pulled off a Houdini act, escaping from the $65,000 pit and scaling the $75,000 cliff-only to slip back to $74,700 like a cat that changed its mind about being a mountaineer. All three major moving averages (50MA at $72,767, 100MA at $70,374, 200MA at $70,199) are now below price, attempting what passes for optimism in technical analysis: upward-sloping lines. RSI is chilling at 59.82, which is the market’s way of saying, “I’m excited, but I’ve got a therapist on speed dial.”
Yet Bitmine’s institutional interest remains pinned near zero. Institutional capital is not following the momentum. The last time this divergence appeared, it delivered just a 13% bounce before fading. A head-and-shoulders pattern on the daily chart adds a 23% downside risk if the current move fails.
