Crypto news

On the eventful day of March 26, ZachXBT took to X (formerly known as Twitter, because why not?) and unleashed a zinger: “Is grifting religion to promote a crypto token presale for a glorified paid group still a viable strategy in 2026?” His post garnered a staggering 48,700 views, 1,200 likes, and 51 retweets in mere moments, igniting a delightful storm of mockery across the crypto Twitterverse aimed squarely at the $LAMB project, helmed by none other than our friend YoungHoon Kim, self-proclaimed IQ 276 champion.

Indeed, the Shiba Inu’s daily burn rate has been soaring like a hoopy frood who really knows where his towel is. And let’s not forget the repeated price rallies, which have investors frothing at the mouth like a Vogon at a poetry reading. Sure, the overall market is about as lively as a dead parrot, but Shiba Inu is showing signs of a mild positive sentiment in March. Could this be the month it finally breaks free from its monthly loss straitjacket? Only time-and a lot of burnt SHIB-will tell.

The ensemble of backers has expanded, with CMT Digital and Coinbase Ventures joining the chorus. The usual suspects-Circle Ventures, Peak XV Partners, GMO Venture Partners, and January Capital-have also taken their seats in the orchestra pit. Let us not forget the stalwart patrons: Ripple, Norinchukin Capital, ARC180, and RTP Global, whose wallets, one presumes, are as deep as their patience.

Today, dear reader, the XRP market has entered a veritable funhouse of confusion and volatility. The dreaded “maximum pain” trigger has been yanked on the futures market, as per our friends at CoinGlass. The price of XRP has tiptoed close to the perilous precipice where the largest liquidation clusters are huddled together like sheep before the wolf. One can almost hear the collective gasp of traders as they brace for either a disastrous plunge or a miraculous leap ahead of tomorrow’s momentous SEC decision.

Binance, the world’s biggest cryptocurrency exchange, announced new rules on Wednesday for those creating and providing tokens. These rules require more transparency about who market makers are – including their legal details and agreements. Binance is also prohibiting any arrangements that promise guaranteed profits or shared returns.

In what can only be described as a financial do-si-do, Fidelity has decided to waltz into the Bitcoin ballroom with an additional $83 million through its spot ETF, suggesting that institutional interest may be showing the first stirrings of life after a rather lengthy siesta.

According to Santiment, the recent shenanigans show that transfers above the rather modest $100,000 have dropped to a paltry 6,417, the lowest since last September. Transfers above $1 million have also slinked down to a mere 1,485, their lowest since October 2024. Quite the tragedy!

X, that tempestuous darling of the digital realm, has ensnared Benji Taylor as its Head of Design. An appointment, I daresay, that spans the empire’s dalliances with xAI and SpaceX-arriving with all the subtlety of a grand piano at a cocktail party, just weeks before a financial product launch. How utterly… planned.

The loan follows standard mortgage guidelines and is backed by Fannie Mae, offering the same security and quality as most traditional mortgages, the company announced on Thursday.

While the price saw a significant one-day increase, it’s still down 57% from its recent high of $4,831. The big question now is whether the current price is the lowest it will go, or just a temporary break before it falls further. Experts disagree on what will happen in the short term, predicting prices could end the month anywhere between $2,097 and $2,878.