Crypto news

Despite pockets of optimism, akin to a man expecting a rain shower in a desert, the network activity remains as lively as a doorknob at a funeral. 🌧️

They’re channeling all the history vaults, saying the upcoming altcoin ETF could be the hottest thing since sliced bread-if bread were actually volatile crypto assets. 🍞💥

The broader market, too, has been in a most unsteady state, with Bitcoin’s capricious behavior adding to the general air of distress. One can scarcely imagine a more trying circumstance! 😓

In 2019, when the enigmatic Javier Pérez-Tasso ascended to the helm of Swift, a behemoth of the financial world, one might have expected a mere continuation of its venerable tradition. Yet, by the turn of the decade, this titan of transactional alchemy had embarked on a venture as audacious as it was unexpected: the creation of its own blockchain network. 🧙‍♂️💸

Ah, PayPal (PYPL) is spreading its wings and taking the charming PYUSD stablecoin into the thrilling world of artificial intelligence finance, tying it to the fabulous onchain funding mechanisms dreamt up by USD.AI-a dandy little stablecoin protocol that lends a hand to AI companies needing a bit of a boost.

Behold, the great BlackRock hath transferred 2,257 BTC and 74,973 ETH to Coinbase, a move as subtle as a peacock in a pigeon coop. The whispers of a sell-off echo through the halls of crypto, leaving investors clutching their digital pearls. ETFs, those darling instruments of modern finance, have recorded outflows, a sure sign of redemption for BlackRock’s IBIT and ETHA. Oh, the irony! The very instruments meant to stabilize have become harbingers of volatility. 🎭📉

The Relative Strength Index ( RSI) on the 1-day chart is just sitting there at 41, basically saying, “I don’t know, man,” echoing the sentiments of traders everywhere. Meanwhile, the MACD is being a real downer with a reading of −1,799, hinting at some serious downward momentum. I mean, who invited that guy to the party? 🙄

But alas, the gods of the market are fickle. This wallet, once basking in the glow of $120 million in unrealized profits, has since shed over $70 million. Such is the price of hubris! No hedge, no safety net-just pure, unadulterated exposure. Margin? Oh, it’s being used, heavily. This trader is all-in, betting on a market that’s been stumbling like a drunkard on a tightrope. Will he soar like an eagle or crash like a sack of potatoes? Only time will tell. 🌪️

Oh, the fickle heart of the market, ever shifting like the tides of human despair! 🌊 Just yesterday, we lamented the weak institutional demand for bitcoin, noting net outflows of over $500 million from spot bitcoin exchange-traded funds (ETFs) in the first two days of the week. 🤯 But lo! On Wednesday, they amassed over $457.3 million, the highest single-day tally in five weeks. A trend that needs to continue to power BTC higher. The bull phases earlier this year saw multiple days of above $500 million in net inflows almost every week. 📈

The disparity between long and short liquidations reached a grotesque crescendo, a 122,680% imbalance that would make a medieval scribe weep. Within four hours, the price of XRP danced like a marionette, its strings tugged by unseen hands, while the market’s collective breath held. 🎭