Crypto news

The deal, announced with the subtlety of a state decree, now binds Securitize For Advisors to Anchorage Digital’s apron strings. Financial terms? Naturally undisclosed-why burden the masses with numbers when propaganda suffices? This unit, a relic for registered investment advisors (RIAs), offers “tools” to dabble in digital assets, trading interfaces, and client portfolios-all within a “regulated framework,” i.e., a cage with a compliance officer as warden.

Cast your mind back to 2020-a simpler time, when Bitcoin flirted flirtatiously near $10,000. Ah, yes, Michael Saylor and his ilk swooped in like the wealthy debutantes, buying in bulk and absorbing the supply like it was a fancy canapé at a gala. Their acquisitions made the price rise faster than expectations at a Wilde soirée, attracting more admirers-er, buyers-without needing fresh demand. Such a charming dance of supply and demand.

In its 2025 State of Memecoins Report-a tome likely penned by interns over espresso-CoinGecko revealed how electioneering theatrics transformed memecoins from niche curiosities into a $150.6 billion spectacle by December 2024. A sum so vast, it could fund a thousand presidential yachts.

The CoinDesk 20 Index, that barometer of despair, fell 4.3%, its members united in their downward spiral. Traditional markets, too, joined the funeral procession, with the Nasdaq Composite shedding 2.6% on Monday. The AI bubble, that shiny mirage, may burst, and the jobs report looms like a hangman’s noose. The U.S. will reveal its labor wounds on Tuesday-brace yourselves. 🇺🇸

Ah, the whales! Once proud custodians of 4.8 billion XRP, now reduced to mere 3.6 billion! 🚨 A “strategic retreat,” they claim, though history whispers, “This reeks of panic!” As Ali, the soothsayer of Sentiment, proclaims: When whales abandon ship, even the mightiest coin may sink. And sink it did-through $0.60’s crumbling gates, dragged down by the herd’s collective cold sweat.

The pullback has been sharp enough to punish altcoins, yet data from social and on-chain trackers show traders are cautious rather than fearful, suggesting conviction has not fully cracked. 🤔👀

The data from Coinglass-like that one friend who’s always oversharing-reveals Dogecoin’s open interest has nose-dived from the $6.01 billion high it hit back on September 13, to a pitiful $1.8 billion. That’s roughly a 70% decline in just three months. Ah, the beauty of markets: one moment at the top of the world, the next rummaging through its pockets for loose change. The last time open interest was this low, it was April 2025, when everyone was busy declaring their allegiance to Trump’s tariffs. Coincidence? I think not.

Chairman Tim Scott, a man of remarkable patience, has declared that the committee will “revisit” the bill when the stars align-or perhaps when the next election cycle demands it. 🌟 A spokesperson, with the enthusiasm of a man describing a tax audit, noted that “strong progress” has been made. Strong progress-a term that, in Washington, means “we’ve barely begun.” 🤝

According to a recent tome from the Financial Times, the FCA unfurled three papers like ancient scrolls on Tuesday, hopeful that these will weave their wisdom from the world of traditional finance into the tapestry of cryptocurrency, safeguarding unsophisticated investors against its idiosyncratic perils.

Capital, that fickle lover, is abandoning the overpopulated realms of Big Tech and AI for the more sedate pastures of financials, industrials, and materials. This shift in liquidity, as unpredictable as a British summer, often ripples into the volatile waters of Bitcoin, Ethereum, and their altcoin counterparts. 📈📉