Crypto news

Shiba Inu’s rate has slipped a pitiful 1.76% over the last 24 hours. Talk about a rollercoaster-more like a kiddie ride with a drunk driver.

The total volume of payments, the number of payments exchanged between accounts, and the general transaction throughput have all seen significant increases. However, the price chart… oh, that price chart! It’s presenting us with a much less cheerful outlook, and therein lies the greatest risk. A true mismatch, like a ballerina in muddy boots.

In a thrilling* (not really) post on CryptoQuant, the so-called “brain trust” at XWIN Research Japan gasped: “The Coinbase Premium Index… it’s gone negative!” 🫢 Now, what in the name of Groucho Marx is that? Glad you asked! It’s basically the price gap between Bitcoin on Coinbase (U.S. dollars, baby!) and Bitcoin on the wild, lawless crypto wastelands like Binance (hello, Tether – you sketchy, salty dollar cousin). 💵🌊

“I’m a long-term wildly bullish believer in Bitcoin,” he proclaimed, as if sentiments alone could carve monuments. To him, Bitcoin has already been crowned as the currency for the next 5,000 years-because, of course, history has shown us the infallibility of digital currencies… or not.

Oh, Robert Kiyosaki, everyone’s favorite financial guru, thinks things are looking grim. In a recent post on X (formerly known as Twitter… remember that?), he laid out how to get even richer when the economy decides to go up in flames. His book “Rich Dad Poor Dad” is still a top-seller-because nothing says financial wisdom like a guy who predicts chaos, right?

Groupe BPCE, them clever foxes, have been schemin’ away on their digital asset strategy, and lo and behold, their offspring Hexarq has snagged the golden ticket from the French regulators. They’re plannin’ to roll out this crypto fandango in stages, startin’ late 2025. Mark my words, this here’s a hootenanny for the banking sector in France. 🎩✨

“This week’s rally may be all the retesting of the broadening top we will see. Of course, we will see,” he quips, with the air of a man who finds the market’s caprices as amusing as a poorly written tragedy. 🎭

On a seemingly innocuous Saturday, December 6th, our hero’s wallet-probably lined with velvet-swelled with a hefty 22,676 ETH. Yes, nearly twenty-three thousand ETH-more than most of us will ever see in our lifetime-transferred from a hot wallet, because who doesn’t want frequent access to millionaire status? This transaction, scrutinized by the bustling detectives of Lookonchain, screams of long-term masterstroke rather than reckless gambit, though one can’t help but wonder if it’s just a beautifully choreographed dance with destiny. 🎭

Monet Bank, a Texas establishment overseen by the esteemed Mr. Andy Beal-whom one might describe as an ardent admirer of a certain Mr. Trump-has resolved to introduce crypto lending, digital-asset banking, and a certain air of modernity that may or may not be followed by ruin or fortune. With assets butchering £6 billion and £1 … Read more

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