Crypto news

Despite the chaos, these ETFs have not once shed a single drop of outflow since their birth, a rarity in this sea of despair. A beacon of hope, or just a fleeting spark? 🌟

This crypto analyst, TradingShot, I mean, who names these guys? Anyway, he says Ethereum’s been in a free fall since early October, falling about 27.5% twice-impressive, huh? First it hits a high, then crashes down, rinse, repeat. The latest? It dips below $3,000, and everyone’s like, “Oh, maybe it’s turning around.” But let’s be honest, that might just be a mirage. Short-term optimism, long-term misery. Classic.

Woods, with the confidence of a man who has already solved all of humanity’s problems (except maybe world peace), tells us the only thing standing between Bitcoin and quantum doom: don’t spend it. Yes, you heard that right-just don’t spend your precious BTC. That’s the key to keeping it safe from the death grip of quantum computers. Simple, no? In his view, any Bitcoin that is transferred to a new account and left untouched is entirely safe from quantum mischief-at least for now.

Even after today’s 5% dip, Pi’s monthly chart shows a resilient spirit-like a stubborn mule that refuses to die. It’s only 6.5% away from doing a glorious breakout, as if it’s playing hard to get-such suspense! 📉🥳

The Bitwise XRP ETF (ticker: XRP) waltzed onto the New York Stock Exchange on Nov. 20, givin’ U.S. investors a chance to own XRP without gettin’ their hands dirty with the token itself. 🕴️✨ On its debut, 1.14 million shares changed hands at an average price of $22, tallyin’ up to a cool $25 million. Now, that’s what I call a hootenanny! 🎉

Hold onto your wallets because Zcash is one of the few shiny spots in this crypto disaster zone. With charts that actually look… stable (what a concept!), ZEC has a juicy -0.87 correlation with Bitcoin. Translation? ZEC tends to go up when Bitcoin goes down. Take that, Bitcoin.

Bitcoin, that old grifter with a grin, accounted for half the carnage, leaving longs-those fools who bet on sunshine-scrambling like gophers with their holes collapsing. Shorts? They just stood there, smug as a cat in a sunbeam, pocketing $129.3 million while the rest of us wept into our coffee.

Glassnode, that oracle of on-chain whispers, has scribbled a new psalm on X: the Mayer Multiple, that peculiar ratio of spot price to 200-day moving average, has crawled back to its lowly perch. It’s like watching a man with a pocket watch and a hangover count every second twice.

Coinglass, our modern-day Cassandra, reports that $1B of this carnage occurred in the last hour alone. One imagines traders clutching pearls and muttering “not again” as the charts turned blood-red. Meanwhile, the average BTC ETF investor-bless their optimistic hearts-is currently marinating in losses like a particularly soggy crumpet.

MSCI, that most esteemed of financial soothsayers, has embarked upon a grand quest to determine the fate of firms whose digital assets exceed half their total assets. One might call it a bureaucratic ballet of exclusion! 🕺