Imagine, if you will, a multi-signature wallet, a fortress of digital security, breached not by code but by the treacherous whims of the heart. For even the most fortified vaults cannot guard against the wiles of a scammer masquerading as a trader, a lover, a savior. 🕵️♀️💘
So, Strategy’s (MSTR) junior preferred stock Stride (STRD) is tightening its credit spread like a belt after Thanksgiving dinner. Looks like everyone’s lining up for the highest-yielding treat on the block! 🍗💸
Key Takeaways (Or Should We Say, Key Gags?)
Today, the world’s largest publicly traded holder of Bitcoin, known simply as Strategy, revealed its latest escapade: acquiring 10,645 Bitcoin (BTC) between December 8 and December 14, for the princely sum of approximately $980.3 million. What a time to be alive!
A Symphony of Technical Whispers
These new offerings are meant to “complement” existing Bitcoin and Ethereum futures. Complement? More like “we’re throwing everything at the wall and hoping it sticks.” Oh, and they’ll also let you trade against the S&P 500, Nasdaq-100, and other indices. Because nothing says “stability” like piling crypto chaos onto stock market drama 🙄.
Strategy, trading at $176.45, has plummeted by ~62% from its zenith this year. A tragic fall, no? This decline mirrors the woes of Bitcoin (BTC), which has tumbled from $126,300 in October to a mere $90,000 today. 🪨
By Shayan, the bard of bear markets
Imagine the scene: a soccer club desperately short on cash, but sitting on a treasure trove of media rights they’re too impatient to wait for. Enter Decentral on the Chiliz blockchain-because if you’re going to play hardball with your finances, might as well do it with a digital ball. They’re tokenizing future receipts, turning promises into trades, and giving clubs a fast lane to funding without the bank and its endless paperwork. Who needs banks when you have crypto, right?