Chairman Tim Scott, a man of remarkable patience, has declared that the committee will “revisit” the bill when the stars align-or perhaps when the next election cycle demands it. 🌟 A spokesperson, with the enthusiasm of a man describing a tax audit, noted that “strong progress” has been made. Strong progress-a term that, in Washington, means “we’ve barely begun.” 🤝
According to a recent tome from the Financial Times, the FCA unfurled three papers like ancient scrolls on Tuesday, hopeful that these will weave their wisdom from the world of traditional finance into the tapestry of cryptocurrency, safeguarding unsophisticated investors against its idiosyncratic perils.
Capital, that fickle lover, is abandoning the overpopulated realms of Big Tech and AI for the more sedate pastures of financials, industrials, and materials. This shift in liquidity, as unpredictable as a British summer, often ripples into the volatile waters of Bitcoin, Ethereum, and their altcoin counterparts. 📈📉
Well, well, well, look who’s finally showing up to the tokenized finance party-JPMorgan Asset Management! They’ve launched their first on-chain money market fund, cleverly named the My Onchain Net Yield Fund (MONY). Yes, MONY. Because nothing says “we’re serious about finance” like a name that sounds like a Monopoly currency. 🤑 It’s live on the Ethereum blockchain, which is a big deal for a bank that probably still faxes documents. 📠
In this grand design, those diverse yet parallel worlds of exchanges, the humble stewards of electronic wallets, and a plethora of other crypto service companies-all shall ascend from their lax moorings on anti-money-laundering registration, into the august continuum of regulation that girths banks and brokers as if they were but peas in a podld. 🚀
The data was shared on Dec. 16 by on-chain analytics platform Onchain Lens. According to the analysis, the address, often referred to as a “Bitcoin OG,” is currently facing an unrealized loss of about $54 million across large long positions in Bitcoin, Ethereum, and Solana. Because nothing says “I’m a legend” like losing half a billion. 💸
Cathie Wood’s ARK Invest embarked on a bargain-hunting escapade on Monday, as some of the biggest listed names in the crypto circus, including Coinbase (COIN), Bullish (BLSH), and Circle (CRCL), continued their multi-day descent into the abyss.
Ten months ago, in a moment of digital deja vu, MetaMask teased the world with the promise of Bitcoin, only to keep us waiting like a child counting down to Christmas. 🎄 But here we are, with Bitcoin now joining the ranks of supported assets from the Ethereum, Solana, Monad, and Sei blockchains in a blockchain tango. 💃🕺
Visa (NYSE: V), a global digital payments leader, has expanded its advisory capabilities as demand for stablecoins grows across global payments. The company announced the launch of its Stablecoins Advisory Practice on Dec. 15 to help banks, fintechs, merchants, and enterprises develop strategies and implement stablecoin-based solutions. 🤷♂️
Rodriguez and his chum William Lonergan Hill, both of whom seem to have landed themselves in a spot of bother over their crypto mixing protocol, were handed sentences of five and four years respectively. Quite the holiday camp, what? 🏖️⚖️