Altcoins displayed a more capricious temper. Zcash surged by a double-digit measure-35%-as if some cheerful villager had discovered a hidden trove behind the granary. Mantle advanced about 9%, while Monero and Ethena rose modestly, 3-4%. Aster, alas, wandered into the opposite corner, down by 12%, like a stubborn mule at the village gate. 😅
Crypto ETNs, for those not in the know, are like the fancy cousins of cryptocurrencies-all the thrill without the hassle of actually owning the digital coins. They’re debt products, mind you, but don’t let that fool you into thinking they’re as safe as a cup of tea. ☕ They trade like regular securities, with the underlying assets tucked away in the hands of regulated custodians. Because, you know, even the wild west needs a sheriff. 👮♂️
To stake, in simple spirit, is to bid your coins do something beyond mere accounting-to set them to guard the very network they inhabit, and in return receive rewards as if the cosmos itself had taken pity and offered a prize for patience. A noble posture, and yet ridiculous in its audacity, that the idle capital should become labor for the common ledger.
BVNK’s not sharing how much Citi invested (you know, mystery is hot right now), but Chris Harmse, co-founder of BVNK, did spill the tea to CNBC. Apparently, the company’s worth more than $750 million now-yep, that’s a decent chunk of change. And it’s already got some heavyweight investors like Coinbase and Tiger Global in its corner.
Enter Bull Theory, the so-called seer of this crypto realm. With the air of someone who’s been sipping from the cup of ‘insightful wisdom’ for far too long, this trader suggests that the market is simply mimicking the euphoric chaos of 2020-2021, when altcoins had their legendary, and rather explosive, heyday. Ah, what a time it was. A time of hope, madness, and some truly remarkable returns.
As of Wednesday, 97% of Bitcoin (BTC) supply is in profit, the scribes of onchain lore-Glassnode-tell us with careful gravity.
The aim is to replace carefree enforcement with a defined regulatory ballet, a true beacon of clarity for those venturing in erstwhile shadows.
Yes, yes, Robert Kiyosaki, the ever-dramatic author of “Rich Dad Poor Dad” (which, let’s be honest, we all pretend to read but never quite get around to finishing), is once again out in the wild warning us about the imminent demise of the U.S. dollar. His book has been flying off shelves for years, and apparently, so has his “Doomsday Prepper” toolkit of gold, silver, and crypto.
According to Ethena’s X post on a Wednesday that smelled of ink and coffee, the partnership aims to flood liquidity, fatten yields, and stiffen the joints of decentralized finance (DeFi) within Jupiter’s suite of products on Solana. The whole affair is marketed as a strategic move to reduce reliance on foreign stablecoins and to prove that homegrown paper money can stand in a row with the embassy money.
On a Tuesday that could only be described as mildly farcical, our esteemed lawmakers voted 51 to 47 to welcome McKernan into the fold, serving under the ever-so-charming Secretary Scott Bessent. And while the government has been in a state of utter disarray since September 30, Congress, my dears, marches on with the grace of a tipsy ballerina. 🩰
