Dogecoin: The Meme Coin That Refuses to Die (or Pay Rent)

A chart that looks like a toddler’s scribbles

In a recent post on X (formerly Twitter, because why not add more confusion to the world?), Martinez explained that Dogecoin has been trapped in a “Parallel Channel” for years. This is a technical analysis term that basically means the coin is stuck between two lines, like a bored teenager in a grocery store aisle. The upper line is the ceiling, the lower line is the floor, and Dogecoin is the ball you keep bouncing between them because you have nothing better to do.

Coinbase’s Blunder: When Security Meets Farce

The affair, which unfolded with the inevitability of a Chekhovian denouement, reignited the eternal debate: Can platforms reconcile their design whims with the solemn dictates of security? Or are they doomed to wander the digital wilderness, armed with nothing but good intentions and a penchant for self-sabotage?

Michael Saylor’s Orange March: Losing $5B, Still Buying Bitcoin Like It’s Discount Day at Costco

“Orange march,” he says. “Orange march,” I say, picturing him in a tiny orange onesie, leading a parade of corporate suits through Wall Street while holding a sign that reads “BUY THE DIP” in glitter. Meanwhile, the rest of us are Googling “how to cry in public without looking like a person who needs therapy.” But Saylor? He’s out here turning drawdowns into a spectator sport. If I lost $5 billion, I’d just buy a yacht and forget about it. Not Saylor. No, he’s out here buying Bitcoin like it’s the last box of cereal at the grocery store during a blackout.

Hilarious Crypto Follies: Japan’s XRP Drama and $25M Heist-You’ll Laugh, You’ll Cry!

Crypto Mischief

Ah, the land of the rising sun! According to the learned scribes at Nikkei, a grand reform is afoot in the realm of financial legislation. It seems cryptocurrency in Japan has grown so plump it can no longer be ignored. With 13 million accounts, one in ten residents dabbles in crypto! And yet, like a wild beast, it has become a playground for rogues and tricksters.