Crypto news

“Look here,” quoth Yin, his voice tinged with the spice of conviction and dreams, “the RWA value ascended in the dance of yesteryear, as if uncorked from a decanter of growth, doubling its prior stature. I, with the frivolity of hope, imagine an increase that ranges from three to fivefold in 2026, eyes darting eagerly across this bacchanal of digits as a base case. Imagine, if one could, our RWA holders list multiplying a tenfold since the rising sun of this year, forecasting yet another flamboyant entry into the annals of user growth with an awe-striking twenty-five fold rise.” 🍾📈

The global market cap’s sittin’ at $3.06 trillion, but don’t let that fool you-it’s about as stable as a three-legged stool on a rocky boat. The Fear and Greed Index? A measly 11, same as last week. And let’s not forget the 221,000 traders who got liquidated in the last 24 hours, losin’ $794 million faster than a gambler at a rigged roulette table. 🎢💔

Behold, the MSCI Index, that grand inquisitor of the financial world, has summoned the investment community to a sacred ritual: shall Bitcoin and its ilk be banished from the hallowed halls of the index? 🧾

The total crypto market capitalization has officially fallen below the $3 trillion mark, the first time since May 8. RIP $3T. Bitcoin is now languishing at $85,310, down 7% in the last 24 hours, making it the perfect time for all the “HODLers” to reassess their life choices. Ethereum is at $2,784, XRP at $1.96, and Solana, bless its soul, is at $130-each falling between 7% and 8.4%. 🍂

Brandt’s forecast, a masterclass in understated optimism, contrasts sharply with the economic alchemists of the crypto world-Arthur Hayes, Tom Lee, and others who insist $200K is just a coffee break away. Meanwhile, Cathie Wood and Brian Armstrong dream of $1 million Bitcoin by 2030, a figure so lofty it could only exist in a universe where gravity is optional. Brandt, modest as ever, expects a mere fivefold lesser amount a quarter later. How humble.

Not just content with leapfrogging into unrestrained speculation, they’re also in the regulatory approval gossip group and playdates with sports moguls. Rumor has it, their favorite color is bureaucratic red tape-they are so good at weaving it that one could craft a quilt of discontent and call it a masterpiece.

But hold your horses, folks! Not all is doom and gloom. Some brave souls (and analysts) are holding onto the belief that Bitcoin might just be forming a “local bottom” – whatever that means. They’re comparing the current “correction” to those magical mid-cycle retracements during strong bull runs. Ah, optimism. They claim the macro environment is still on Bitcoin’s side and that long-term holders aren’t showing signs of turning into weaklings anytime soon. So, as panic-stricken sellers unload, the hope is that the market will eventually see the light at the end of the tunnel. 🌟

Polymarket, the crypto wizard 🧙‍♂️, is looking to raise a pile of cash at a jaw-dropping $12B valuation. Why? Because it’s expanding faster than a balloon in the oven, reaching into crypto and international markets, after shaking off some pesky regulatory issues. After sneaking back into the U.S. market and signing deals with some heavy hitters, Polymarket is ready to compete with Kalshi (watch out, Kalshi, here comes the heat!). According to Bloomberg, both companies are on a growth spree, and it’s only getting juicier from here.

This isn’t just a handshake and a nod; it’s a full-on dance-off to make sure your digital coins are safer than a troll under a bridge. 🌉 And let’s be honest, in the crypto world, that’s saying something.

On November 20th, the crypto carnival turned into a market sobfest: Bitcoin slid 2.52%, nosediving to $86,585-its basement since spring, apparently planning an encore. Ethereum, politely erasing its July gains, settled at $2,818, as if to mock the optimism of summer. Altcoins-those unstable children of the crypto family-were no better. Solana’s price went from a high of $144 down to $132-no better than a roller coaster with an idle ride. XRP dipped below the psychological $2 barrier, as if to say, “Not today, buddy.” And Dogecoin? That meme magician fell from $0.1591 to $0.1473-because if laughter is the best medicine, this is some very bitter medicine.