Crypto news

Oh, what a glorious day for investors! The price of Solana (SOL) has taken a dive, leaving many in a state of existential dread. 😭 2.26% down in 24 hours-what a cheerful little number! 🐄

Cast your mind back to 2021, when El Salvador’s Legislative Assembly, in a fit of what one might charitably call “optimism,” decreed that Bitcoin (BTC) should be accepted by every shop, stall, and street vendor. 🛍️💰 Proponents, no doubt sipping their champagne with a side of moon-shaped glasses, predicted a crypto utopia. Alas, the Salvadorans, a pragmatic lot, seemed more interested in the free $30 pre-loaded into their Chivo Wallets than in becoming Bitcoin barons. 📱💸

His tale was one of strained plumbing, of a financial system gasping under the weight of leverage that had grown fatter than a harvest moon. “The pipes are clogged,” he muttered, “and the markets, like a restless crowd, toss their coins into the void.” The equities, once steady as a river, now danced with the chaos of a storm, while crypto, that wayward child of the digital age, found itself shunned by the very winds that once carried it.

The chart screams “breakdown,” and buying pressure? Well, it’s about as lively as a sleepy sloth. But wait-there’s a tiny outlier, a flicker of hope, or just a cruel joke? That’s the big question of the hour. 🤡

Imagine a giant blockchain crystal ball, and what does it show? A dismal scene of Bitcoin and Ether ETFs shedding their coins like autumn leaves fall. Truly, it’s almost poetic-and by poetic, I mean painfully pathetic. 🌪️

According to the ever-diligent Chosun Daily, 38 of these financial illusionists were arrested for forming a “criminal group” (imagine that!) while 92 others received a polite indictment via owl post, charged with fraud and violating telecom loss-recovery laws. Clearly, the justice system is just so desperate to include everyone in this circus. 🎪

BCH is likely to be one of the few Layer-1 altcoins to end 2025 with strong positive performance. Several key drivers support this scenario. 🤔

As we say goodbye to this year, let’s take a moment to lament the fact that Shiba Inu has already dropped more than 14% this month. My dear reader, brace yourself; the algorithm at CoinCodex has predicted further declines into 2026. It seems the SHIB price will continue its dramatic descent, much like a particularly clumsy ballet dancer. 💃

December saw Hayes shuffling ETH into exchanges faster than a teenager swiping left on Tinder. Investors, naturally, concluded he was selling. Because, well, duh.

This grand design, a puppet show choreographed by the European Union’s grandiose MiCA framework, seeks to impose a uniformity upon crypto’s anarchic waltz-a labyrinthine edifice of rules that would make Kafka weep into his café con leche.